Business Women's Finishing School & Social Club

"Stay Interview" tips for the Interviewee

2012-01-10T23:19:00.001-05:00

Have you ever sat in your Exit Interview, with a member of HR you never met before, and thought, "Maybe you should have asked this 4 years ago"? Let us know if you have encountered the latest "employee engagement" tool awkwardly known as The Stay Interview -- as in, not "why are you leaving," but rather "what motivates you to stay?"

Jon Younger, of the RBL Institute, offered a strong summary of the tool's purpose, along with guidelines for its use a few years ago in The Huffington Post. At the Finishing School, where some of our best friends are Managers, we are strongly in favor of employee engagement in general. It used to be a fundamental component of staff development, and was known in our day as ... Management.
American business is less about forming long-term relationships these days.

There is plenty to read on Stay Interview technique -- much of it strangely similar, and nearly all of written for the Manager.

Your faculty would like to complement Mr Younger's advice (and other postings of similar verbiage) with advice and encouragement for those being interviewed -- as well as a healthy dose of skepticism. Like performance reviews and promotions, these techniques can range from discovering hidden capacity to Exhibit A for moving you down the stacked-ranking list.

The sample questions we have seen for this exercise tend to be more "on the money" than you may be ready for. The Company goals may be to determine who will stay more than who wants to stay. Your answer may be the catalyst for new opportunities, but nearly all in the form of action items for you. It may be the source of new openness between you and Management; it may also force a response like... "that will probably never change." So consider your answers carefully.

Take your time - If you are not offered the time to take away the questions and answer them on your own, ask for it. Your gut response is probably honest, but needs to be refined (even professionally spun, if you will) in order to be useful feedback.

Use "I" messages: Still helpful advice in most interpersonal situations. By answering in terms of yourself, you a) own the experience, however subjective, and b) avoid putting management on the defensive, which never works in your favor.

Be professional: Putting the first twp tips together helps you achieve this one. When the Question is "What do you like about your job?" and the answer is "nothing," you need to find a non-threatening way to tell the truth. The same embroidery you put to your resume might be what you draw on now.

needlework by mwashin

"Pays the bills" = financially rewarding
"Close to home" = flexibility
"Good teammates" = "Good teammates" Management loves this feedback, actually. It says that they made many good hiring decisions, and that you are a team player

Don't oversell: at the same time, though, don't feel obligated to write a college admissions essay. Bullet points are fine. They are going to force you to talk it out anyway, and with minimal talking points, you can adjust your response to best suit the tone of the meeting, without having to commit to something you wrote last night over a gin and tonic.

Don't ask for the impossible: A 20% raise would make all of us like our jobs more, but that is unlikely. Now you have given your manager an impossible goal.
Don't ask for the undeliverable: That is, if you say you'd like to learn the budgeting process, be prepared to be delegated to.

In both cases, you can open yourself to an easy win, such as getting a mentor, or leading a small workgroup, that solves problems other people have expressed in their stay interviews.

According to much of the Manager-focused information on this engagement tool, your being asked to participate in a Stay Interview is to be taken a compliment. Most of this information identifies "top performers" as the first people to interview about why they stay. So take it in the spirit it is intended, and try not to pine for the days when Management knew why you stayed, because that was their goal all along.

Workplace Dangers: Meeting with Legal

2011-12-25T21:47:00.001-05:00

Instructor, Caroline Bender

This is not Miss Bender's usual lecture about the paper trail -- of the CYA/Kumbaya variety. We'd like to go a little wider and deeper in today's class. These are habits you need firmly established before you need them. Because you never know when you are going to be deposed.

Let's review some examples of a email reply, with attachment.

1) subject line: none. No message text
2) subject line: "spreadsheet". message - "Here ya go." or... "per our conversation," (however formal your environment tends to be)

3) subject line (name of attachment): message text:

Hello Brenda,

Please find attached the latest version of the report we reviewed on today's call, which I downloaded a few minutes ago. Please look it over and make any comments directly in the document. If you have no changes, please let me know that too. I will file it to the accountants as soon as I have heard from you.

Three months or 3 years after that report has been cited as evidence in a business issue, you will be glad you chose #3.

I acknowledge the tedium of email. It is actually more annoying than business by phone (if that is possible) and can be terribly time-consuming. In the corporate arena, especially, we are buried in it, and without secretaries to weed it out for us. Most days, it seems the only way to get through it all is to reply-yes, reply-no, reply-see attached, reply-please reschedule... and you already made a macro to insert "Please." F12 is nice for that.

I ask that you acknowledge this: A stitch in time... saves several uncomfortable meetings with General Counsel. Not only can you pull a timeline of your role in whatever is exploding, you can quickly check your own memory of what happened when, and why.

Take this Pop-Quiz
Pull a history of the last 6 month's emails on any given category of your work. (If you are not yet using Outlook categories to reference your email, please set aside additional time to read this). Based on what you find, could you put together a reliable discovery-worthy history of events, using only these official business documents you yourself created? Then I urge you to begin tomorrow, writing business emails so complete you could come back to work after a traumatic brain injury and still know what you were doing last week.

These do not have to be baroque in style -- heretofore, forthwith, whereas -- or even particularly long. They need to be

Thorough - if you need a template, try this:

The Big picture this pertains to.
The central message of this email.
Action on the part of the reader.
Next steps for the sender.

Read the note to Brenda again -- more than 3 sentences, yes, but the structure is there. This "next step" area also serves as a task for you. And if you are not yet using Outlook Tasks as your To Do list, please set aside additional time to read this).

Date and Time stamped - the easy part is done for you already. What you also want to include are points of reference that can be useful, such as noting to Brenda that the report was run "a few minutes" before the time stamp on the message. The action came out of "today's call," which likely has minutes or notes stored elsewhere. Date your attachments whenever possible, also. If it is later modified, its properties will tell you that; the date in its name can signal when it was created, run, or what it refers to (Annual_Report_2010). If you develop a consistency for your own dating convention, the document name will have immediate meaning for you and your recipients.

Who did What and When - Miss Bender developed an inclusive "we" habit early in her career -- a style she still prefers to "I," rather like referring to herself in the third person -- but "we" will immediately draw the question who out of the attorneys. Naming names is good practice when asking for, or reporting, approval, sign-off, and other such authorizations.

Cross-Reference - Refer to supporting documents, work request IDs, meeting minutes, and the like by their full names. This will be exceptionally handy even if no one seizes your records. If the email is internal only, consider linking directly to shared documents from within the message so they can be retrieved immediately.

Recycle - Another handy tip for general productivity, and a sure thing for keeping the story straight. Copy statements from your minutes, right to your action items, to your progress reports, your dashboards, your email messages. No telephone game here -- and in a desktop search, you'll find all the documentation that pertains to that item. (And if you are not yet using a desktop search tool besides the one your operating system came with, please set aside additional time to read this. )

Learn how to make a quick and relevant timeline out of your email archive. Test yourself on a project some time back -- a year ago, even -- by making a 1 page document of key actions, milestones, decisions based only on what you can retrieve from your email. Management is easily assuaged by
mm/dd/yyyy: PERSON takes ACTION - QUANTITATIVE RESULT
mm//dd/yyyy: AUTHORITY decides to DO/NOT DO

Store and backup - but don't overwhelm yourself. It is not necessary to save every email if your end of the thread can fill in the blanks, and if your emails repeat and reinforce other documentation. I recommend a Best Practice of keep the current year immediately handy in email form, the previous year in desktop folders or an email backup, and earlier things as Key decisions and documentation. Your workplace may not allow the deletion of email. That's becoming very common.

In which case, please set aside additional time to read this.

Happy New Year from the Business Women's Finishing School & Social Club.
Tell us what's on your mind.

Influence without authority

2011-10-06T20:21:00.000-04:00

A letter to the editor by Diane Chambers, BWFS Graduate student

"I'm at my wit's end," Chambers' letter began, "so I thought I would pen a quick relatively snarky post."

We at the Finishing School do appreciate the snarky. We even appreciate the stomp around and overturn the water cooler. But even at the highest levels of the faculty, our motto is... When you want to stand on the table, write a helpful post instead.

Trying to get something done when you aren't in a position to say, "do this because I pay you" or "do this because otherwise I will hurt you" may necessitate the technique of "influence without authority." The tool of influencing without authority is often positioned towards entry level and middle management persons, but also applies to executives.

When you're a leader among leaders, a country's president among country presidents, an EVP among EVPs - you have no choice but to engage in IWOA.

Here are a few ways to do just that. Comments are welcome.

1. Be bold and ask directly for what you want. For some it works, others may just get laughed at, so be judicious.

2. Appeal to the diva/star/megalomaniac in the other, otherwise known as "sucking up." Best to be subtle here. And be sure to insert your request! A shame to waste a good suck-up.

3. Bargain/horsetrade. In order to do this you need to cultivate something the other might want, and make it known that you have it, and MIGHT share it, but only with certain kinds of people.

4. Threaten to escalate. This is akin to "I'm telling mom on you" and may be laughed at and/or may irritate the "mom" in question, so be sparing with the use of this one.

5 Public shaming. This doesn't need to involve the press. It may involve a weekly meeting where many are in attendance. It can be effective but can backfire.

6. Build coalitions: harness the power of many in your favor. Be prepared to give back to the coalition you've built (see bargain/horsetrade).

One other chestnut:

Use a group setting to your advantage. Propose an idea, then play on the natural tendency of the herd. Instead of ending your spiel with "Everyone ok with that?" ask "Any objections?"

Let the silence, which is almost guaranteed, be your enthusiastic assent!
Ms Chambers may be somewhat tongue in cheek. She may also have something here. What works for you, when you need to influence without any authority?

Ask a Manager: Something's Rotten in Denmark

2011-09-14T23:42:00.002-04:00

Our latest Ask the Manager question got our Executives in Residence plenty talkative. Even our Research Fellows, who rarely step to the podium, had something to say. So we opened this to our full panel.

Note: some facts in the letter below have been omitted or altered to obscure the workplace. The letter is otherwise genuine. Please also note that our panel of managers are all senior staff and thought leaders in their organizations and their professions. We are grateful to have their mentorship, and have masked their identities in exchange for their participation.

Enough disclaimers. Let’s dish.

... I work in an area of [the company where] the managers all come from an area called the... lab. Instead of being one large unit they give all of the credit to the lab. They promoted a tech into management that doesn’t understand the scope of [our jobs] and he hangs with his buds in the lab and in general favors them. ... The Vice President of Operations came for a visit to our... area and she stated that the [recently promoted] tech should have never been promoted to management and that she feels that [the rest of us] have not been represented well [in mgt]. The issue here is my [supervisor], the manager and the Director and some others in the lab are close friends, they have plans to put yet more inappropriate people in these positions not changing a thing. The VP (because she doesn’t see us often) isn’t aware of this new development. She was very sincere in wondering ...Why positions that have been approved were not filled?... I can’t help but wonder why the VP would come in to our unit, say a few odd statements then leave.

... I love my job, I feel that I am a team player and I have demonstrated many times my willingness to go above and beyond. My main point to this query is, does the VP need to know something that she is unaware of. She is an extremely smart person, but again very busy .... How does one inform without being a teller of tales or should I take my husbands advice and just buck up and hope for the best.

~~ Erin B

Caroline Bender: So, a toss-up question first. Is a drop-by from someone of this VP’s stature unusual? Is she fishing?

Monica, Academe: The writer is answering her own question when she says she is wondering “why the VP would come into our unit, say a few odd statements, and leave.” She came because she smells that something is up, and she is fishing for information.

Don, Business Integration: I think it is most likely not some random coincidence that the VP would come around asking for input, particularly if this is not a usual occurrence.

Chris, Human Resources: I'm disappointed that your VP seemed to solicit opinions but did not follow up by providing a safe venue for people to voice them. This makes me question her EQ, and her intent to truly understand the problem. No one makes it to VP in an organization without a deep understanding of how power structures work, and the roles people are forced to play within them.

Gerry, Software Development: it was incredibly inappropriate for the VP to make a public disparaging comment about another employee, true or not. I wonder what she was trying to accomplish with that visit to the group. But that said, she has certainly opened the door for conversation with you and others in your group.

Emilia, Professional Services: As a leader of an organization, I can tell you that it's impossible to be aware of everything that's happening within a group at all times so we're forced to rely on our own observations/experiences as well as information provided by others.

CB: Erin has an agenda, too, doesn’t she? Her own motives aren’t completely objective.

Gerry: [Erin,] I would ask what it is you want to accomplish. Are [the managers] harming the company? Are they making your work environment untenable for you? Are you and your colleagues being harmed financially or personally by your management? Or do you just want to let somebody know it's a bit crazy in that lab?

Don: If you truly feel that this exec is being sincere -- and I recommend that you do because if she didn't care about your input, there is hardly a reason to go asking for it -- then I think this is your chance to do something about your situation. I cannot guarantee that you will move this mountain, but you will gain some peace of mind in knowing that you tried rather than standing idly by as the situation gets worse.

Monica: It is very unusual that she would reveal her opinion that Joe Blow shouldn’t have been promoted and that you’re not being well represented to management. Be a little (just a little) suspicious of this. You need both your approach to the VP and what you offer to be quite casual. You need to sound at least 50% less passionate about what’s going on than what you really feel about this mess.

You need to let her own the reason for your visit/email/phone call: “I am here only because of what you said in your visit to us. I saw in your visit and your comments that you are thinking in some new ways about the organization, and I just wanted to pass along some observations that I thought might be useful as you assess what’s going on. Others may see this differently; for what it is worth, I’ve noticed that .............................”

Don: [Y]ou can keep things at a level that might just make you feel comfortable with what you are doing. More importantly, you can insulate yourself from being looked at (even by the VP) as a “teller of tales.” Something like:

"… At first I didn't feel that I had much to contribute to the conversation, but I have been considering your questions and I wanted to follow up. I really like working here and being part of the team. I want to see us grow and be successful. If I were in your shoes, I think I might want to focus on bringing in some new skill sets to round out the team. We have some great technical minds in our leadership, and a great group of people doing the work. I think for the next set of hires it would be important to round things out by bringing someone in with some outside experience in (fill in the blanks: managing teams, building a business, etc)..."

Emilia: To avoid feeling like a teller of tales or someone who is rocking the boat, [Erin] should

stick to the facts as she knows them
avoid getting emotional so she can be as objective as possible
focus on what positive changes she'd like to see within the group and explain their business benefit

[You can also] get the information to the VP via an anonymous option - filter through HR confidentially, send via an email or letter, etc. With this option, there's no satisfaction of knowing how the information is received or whether any action will be taken at all. Personally, I would lean toward option 1 whether I was the VP targeted to get the feedback or the employee considering the approach.

Gerry: If you do go to her, you need to be prepared for possible repercussions. If there were to be backlash, is she in a position to protect you (for example, is she the VP of Operations, but your group is in Marketing)? Do you trust that she would? Is there a possible outcome that will make things better?

Chris: Sit down and imagine that you have found a way to share your observations with the VP. Then, imagine the worst possible way in which this opportunity could go wrong. Then, make a plan for what you'd do if that scenario occurred. After you've gone through this exercise, decide whether you could live with this outcome. [Y]ou need to be able to live with the consequences if things went horribly wrong. I have been on the end of situations that have gone spectacularly wrong even when I was in the right. And when I say spectacularly wrong, I mean that it went wrong in ways that I would have only joked about beforehand. There's the truth, which is always right, and then there are all the egos impacted by someone bringing the truth to light, and all of the worst in human nature that having your ego scraped can bring. That's the part you have to worry about.

Maybe you decide you can live with the worst case scenario. Maybe you decide to brush up your resume and start looking for another job. Maybe you decide that you'll stay put for now, given this economy, and live with it for a while. The good news is that the one thing that's constant in a business is change. People leave, people join, re-orgs happen, people get pregnant and go on maternity leave - the landscape is constantly changing. And you may be surprised; there may be others at your workplace who are considering this same question. Core problems like the one you describe always have a way of bubbling up to the top eventually. If you can live with the worst case scenario of being the whistle blower, then do it. If you can't, then look for a new job or decide to hang in there for a while because it will change eventually.

Monica: After you drop the dime, add to the script a few of your observations about what is going very well; who is great to work with – smart, responsive, insightful (upper management is always running Talent Search.) Then, end it and leave.

Don: The key point is that you should not be speaking badly about anyone who is currently working on your team. Nor should you call out hiring plans that you know about already in a critical way. My suggestion is merely to discuss what you think is lacking in the team and how your VP might be able to help the situation. If she's sharp enough, she will probably read between the lines and be grateful that you are nudging her in the right direction. If she is more of a literal type, then you will have given her some clear direction that will help her to take some further action. If she asks you to give more details or tell some tales that make you uncomfortable, you can say something like "I have no issue with the people in place now and I don't want you to think I do. I am simply telling you what I think would be a logical next step in the evolution of the team." You might say that you have often thought you would benefit from (fill in the blanks) within the organizational structure. The point is to keep it positive, non-specific, and forward-looking.

Dana, Healthcare: In these types of situations, where you will never have 100% of the available information, I recommend that you just sit tight and do your work. If the wrong people are in the wrong positions it will eventually get noticed...maybe not today or tomorrow but eventually results will start to slip and it will get onto a VPs radar

Monica: After you’ve done this much (but not until you’ve done this much) you might take your hubby’s advice and hunker down, do your work, and see what happens.

Gerry: Good luck. If you think this is the right thing to do, do it. But make sure first that you are looking for positive change, and not just commiserating, and that it is change this VP can help with.

Don: I would recommend that you try and put yourself in this VP's shoes. She, like just about everyone, wants to be successful. She probably knows that in order to be successful, her team must function effectively. She has probably picked up on the fact that some things are not going well. She might have come to this conclusion from listening to what she has been told by her direct reports, from looking at business data that shows that things are not going so well, or from just a general sense of unease that a perceptive manager can feel when something is amiss in the kingdom.

Dana: Meanwhile, do a fantastic job, give 110%, and keep smiling. If things don't change after six months or you can't do it anymore, quietly look for another job and quit the boss.

Have a question for our executives in residence?
Your sticky situations and request for advice are handled by real working professionals at the leadership tier.

Your confidentiality is protected. Write us at a bwfinishingschool@gmail.com

The New People

2011-06-08T22:55:00.000-04:00

Senior Thesis Proposal, Pam Beasley Halpert

They are not new to the world of work, just to your world of work. Help your new colleagues feel welcome and prepared without being overwhelming or condescending.

Having new people around is a little like having the Boss listen in on your meeting: you are bound to be a lot more polite and discreet than you would ordinarily. Suppressing the daily grouse can also make you want to avoid the new people, and that is unfair. They are nervous, and lonesome, and eager to please....with very little to do while they watch the rest of you scramble around complaining in your secret insider language. Try a little niceness.

"How's it going?" is a simple conversation starter that lets them take charge of steering the conversation. A couple of moments in the day where they don't have to answer "I don't know" is a nice gift that costs you nothing.

Remember the personal questions. Again, on the size of their family, the town they live in, and the source of that wall calendar there.... they are experts.

Invite them along to meetings and phone calls, even if you think they are tortuous and repetitive. Every opportunity is a new opportunity, and you just may discover they have some background/inside info on the topic at hand. This technique works best when you can brief them ahead of the meeting, and de-brief afterward, but you may not always have the time. If you have to choose only one, choose the pre-brief, so at least they understand what is happening.

Never say it's tortuous and repetitive. Self-discovery is another of the small joys of the new workplace.

Stop for lunch. Or even dinner.

Introduce them. The walk-around is over-rated, but it does work. What else works is simply introducing them to people you are standing there talking to. You should do this for at least 6 months, at which time the no-longer-new should be responsible for, "We haven't met. I'm...." This is a good practice for you too, because there are new people... everywhere.

We are interested in hearing your New Kid stories, and Visiting Remote Worker stories. Contact us at bwfinishingschool@gmail.com and share your Best and Worst. Confidentially is always protected.

Related stories
Counterparts: Foreign Exchange Students of the Workplace

Princesses are not Perfect (book review, of sorts)

2011-05-27T15:47:00.000-04:00

a confusing business fable

Chief Researcher, Caroline Bender

Parents in our student body may have already explored this topic. Your Miss Bender is on field research this week, as a spinster businesswoman with little other-life experience. Living through the eyes of a 4 year-old this week is a fascinating look into how we get here. Give me the princess until she is 7.... and I will give you the Chairwoman of the Board.

If you live within a mile of a 4 year-old girl, you understand the pull of Princesses. I gave up trying to explain it years ago. I accept that for most of this demographic, the world is painted in lavendar and pink, and everyone wears a crown. A fraction of the group who don't actually believe it go along with it out of cultural deference, and the rest of them go horsey or live as boys. (Don't start writing your letter yet; I am just getting started)

I am not against princesses, and I am not going to blame Disney for them. A girl's gotta be what a girl's gotta be, and if it involves unicorns and rainbows, so be it. When you draw a girl's smiling face in sidewalk chalk, and your 4 year-old charge asks, "Can I draw her crown...?" you are up against a new kind of reality. (4 year olds say "drawl," as you know)

Among the library books we read (in our matching pink reading chairs while one of us was dressed as Belle) this week is Princesses are Not Perfect, whose author has just found this post through her favorite search engine, and will be writing within the hour. The surface message of the story is meant to be that you don't have to excel at everything you try -- in fact most people, even princesses, can not do everything perfectly.

Nice sentiment. Mr Rogers taught us that. Captain Kangaroo taught our parents to "let your young person try to comb their own hair, even if it doesn't look quite right." And in a childhood of bike helmets and kneepads, we have learned to say encouraging things like, "if you're not making mistakes, you might not be trying very hard." A (wo)man's reach must exceed [her] grasp, etc. (I originally typed "gasp," just now...which seems a little closer to the truth.)

Inside Princess are NotPerfect, I found a more confusing layer of messages, and a generation of Women Who Do Too Much in the making. It happens like this.

Each of 3 princesses has a specialized skill. One is a gardener, one a baker, and one a builder, in an interesting push against gender-specific occupations. While planning the big party, the builder announces that she is tired of always doing the same job, and what if she tried doing the baking this year? The other princesses are uneasy about working outside their sphere of expertise, but convinced they can excel at whatever they try, they agree to shift duties.

Hilarity ensues, as you might expect -- the builder gardens with a chainsaw, the baker slathers glue like frosting, and the gardener pours flour onto the kitchen flour and rakes in the ingredients. Each makes a hopless and imperfect mess at her contribution to the party.

Confusing message #1 - you have perfect...or a mess. Nothing in between.

They each lie to the others about how great the project is going and go to their separate beds.

Confusing message #2 - Never ask for help from people who could.

Stressed beyond sleeping, each princess paces, and tosses, and drinks relaxing liquids, thinking about...
not how they will explain what happened to the chairs, the cupcakes, or the centerpieces they attempted, but sensing what a horrible mess the other princess must have made working on their part.

Confusing message #3 - Delegation = disaster. Just do everything yourself.

Each gets up in the middle of the night to work will her tools, as"the only thing" that will calm her.

(Oh, "tsk" yourself; you've done it.) Their ouput, of course, is a new set of 100 chairs, cupacakes and flower arrangements.

Confusing message #4 - People want you to rescue them. No, they really do. And you're the best at it.

No one questions the turn of events. They are all grateful, and the village children have a wonderful party. Confusing message #5 - Stay in your box.

The line in the story is "do what you love," which is also a good positive message. Unfortunately, it is written like this (emphasis mine):

"Princesses," said Princess Allie, "are good at what they love." (in fact, perfect at what they love. And terrible at anything else.) "You don't have to be good at everything to be a princess." (but you do have to be a princess).

What a nice story it would be if they had helped each other learn a new skill and produce something original and good, if not perfect. If the cupcakes were decorated with real roses, and the chairs filligreed like wedding cakes, and the centerpieces architectural wonders of climbing topiary and hanging baskets. What if we let ourselves try something new and celebrated the experience rather than the outcome.

What if.

Ask a Manager: Why did you leave your previous job?

2011-03-30T08:54:00.002-04:00

The Finishing School welcomes our guest manager, "Miranda Bailey," to respond to a recent Ask the Manager question.

Note: some facts in the letter below have been omitted or altered to obscure the workplace. The letter is otherwise genuine.

Hi there,
Came across your web page and "ask a manager" section particularly interested me.
Here's my query: hope I get some guidance.

An overview to my profile:
I am an MBA graduate.
An HR professional (Based abroad)
I've worked for 5 yrs with mostly start-up organizations. Throughout my career I made sure that I give my best to the organizations (for which I did win loads of accolades as well).
To the best of my knowledge, I've always had positive feedback about my work and personality.

The situation:
I got married in 2008; due to demands at home my work suffered and I was fired (without any prior warning). The markets crashed soon after and unemployment prevailed for most of the year in 2009. By the time the markets got greener for jobs, I got pregnant and had to continue staying at home.

My child is 6 months old now. I am ready to work now.

I am not clearing any interviews in spite of most interviews having indicated good outcome.

Most difficult questions/situations interviewers present me with are :
•why a junior position if I apply for non senior positions (after being a senior manager) ;
•why did you leave your previous job ?(gets tricky if I tell them the truth and will get messy if they find out that I was fired!).
•Some state I am too qualified to start off again at a junior position.
•Could it be possible that my previous employers are giving a negative feedback. (Is it possible that a company reference checks with my previous employers without my knowledge? )

Kindly help.

Dear Reader,
As we say in the service business, you are only as strong as your last encounter. It can be difficult to bounce back from a termination, though you say you are “ready to work.” Let’s see if we can emphasize this aspect of your candidacy in your next round of interviews.

Let them Ask
In this market, of course, most candidates are more than ready to work, and many are laid off from senior high-paying roles and competing for junior positions. You have your work cut out for you. The market also works in your favor in one way: most candidates have a gap between their most recent employment and the present day. You may have the advantage in some cases of being assumed laid off, rather than terminated, and you are under no obligation to reveal that in an interview.

When the question arises, meet it honestly. You may even use it as a selling point.

Never Stop Learning

Like most interview questions, “Why did you leave your last position” is only partly about what you answer. It is mostly about how you answer. Your letter reveals some interesting opportunities: you recognize where you were stumbling professionally, and though your termination came “without prior warning,” you also know that your work suffered.

Now is your opportunity to do some hard reflecting on how that happened, and how you might have done things differently. Work on a simple statement that acknowledges the cause, your role in it, and what you learned from it. End your statement with a question that gives the interviewer the chance to say something positive.

Like this: “A project I was handling missed a key milestone. I thought I had it under control, so I hadn’t escalated my concerns to management. Does your company provide the kind of collaboration that would help resolve scheduling conflicts with projects?” A savvy recruiter or hiring manager may throw it back to you, “So you were terminated?” And you can say, regretfully, “I learned so much from that experience. I realize how it important it is to look for obstacles much farther ahead than I had been. For example….”

If this is also a situation where you are applying for a role junior to one you held before, or seem more naturally qualified for, you can also add, “I may not have been ready for that level. In my current job search, I am looking for opportunities to refine my current skills and better prepare myself to return to the senior role.” Again, a question back keeps the conversation flowing in a feel-good direction. “Can you tell me about professional training or mentor opportunities in your organization?”

Bad Blood

You suggest that your previous employer is giving negative feedback, and perhaps they are. In most industries, a simple verification of employment is all that previous employers will offer, though they may add that you were dismissed. Chances are, they are not saying much more than that. As much as we talk about the “permanent record,” most HR files I have seen, including my own, contain very little information about the employee’s actual work.

I was once surprised to be listed as a reference for an employee I had terminated. It had been years before, it was for cause, and with warning... and I bore no grudge. I gave the HR screener who called me all the positive feedback I could about the candidate’s skills and talents. And I did say, “You should know that I did terminate 'Isabel,' though it was many years ago. You may want to ask her about time management and meeting performance goals, which had given her difficulty. I expect she has developed since then and has some strong ideas about how to help others with that challenge.”

Keep Practicing

Let’s take a look at those interviews you have had which seemed to be going well, but did not yield a job offer. Identify 1 or 2 where you felt like you had strong rapport with your interviewer and contact them for feedback. This takes courage, and humility, and you need to be careful not to put your contact on the defensive, or suggest in any way why they didn’t offer you their job. You want to network with them as you would any contact. Learn what they saw as your strengths, and what they suggest as areas for improvement in your credentials and/or your interview. See our earlier post about networking for guidelines on approaching contacts. Consider taking a coaching session at your local career office, unemployment center, or networking group.

Better References

And continue working, in whatever way you can. Volunteer work, contract/freelance opportunities, and part-time gigs keep your skills fresh and your energy up. Most importantly for you, they build new references, who can counter any negative feedback you may still be receiving from your previous employer.

My Interview Story

2011-03-22T19:09:00.000-04:00

Guest Instructor, M. Cipriani

Whenever things happen that make me think, “This is not how it used to be,” I realize I am getting old.

I long for the days when job offers were made over the telephone, rather than through email. When you were courted by a company that wanted to hire you, rather than having to remind them – “Hey, you have a job to fill, remember?”

Perhaps it is the economic downturn that has left the state of human resources and recruitment in such a mess, as those folks along with the sales and marketing teams are usually the first to be escorted to the door. Perhaps I have unrealistic expectations (that has happened before).

Perhaps you should be the judge.

I would not consider myself to be actively "in the market" for a new position, but I am always open to an opportunity to better my situation. When a co-worker recently departed my company, she mentioned that there may be an opening for me at her new place of employment, and encouraged me to apply. She would be happy to refer me, she said. So I applied.

After a couple of mis-steps, one on my part (sick kids) and one on their part (wrong time zone), I was finally able to speak with the hiring manager by phone. Apparently, I passed the litmus test, and was invited in for an interview. A week passed, I did not hear from the recruiter, so I contacted her to find out if there was still interest. Yes, there was; she’d just been in training all week to learn their new process (a clue).

I had not been informed that I would be meeting with a host of individuals that day, five to be exact. This is another part of interviewing I’ve grown to dislike. Is it really necessary to spend half a day at the company, or longer, meeting everyone from the hiring manager to the cleaning crew? This isn’t a small, family owned, operation either where you could see fit as an issue, this is a large corporation. Can’t the hiring manager make their own determination about somebody’s character? And, much to my dismay, I hadn’t met everybody I needed to meet, because several key players were unavailable that day. I would have to come back.

Now for someone who is in between positions, this may not pose a problem. But for someone who is working full time, I am now using my precious vacation time in order to go to these interviews. Do I mind?

Yes, actually, I do.

Since my initial phone screen was actually with the hiring manager, rather than a human resources professional, I had never been appropriately "screened" for this position. So like any good recruiter, my interviewer attempted to obtain my salary requirements before sending me off to meet the masses. However, I was already sitting in front of her, and had taken the day off to go to this interview. The last thing I wanted was for it to be over before it even started. I did as any prepared candidate would do: I side stepped the issue and we moved on.

The interviews went well. I learned that a previous candidate had refused the position -- for personal reasons, I was told. Hmm.
Were there other candidates? No.
Would there be? No.

“We would like you to come back in and meet with a few more people.” Should be music to a candidate’s ears, right? Since I had not been properly screened for this position, before I spent any more time on it, I wanted to be sure it was worth my while. Having had a long stint of being ‘in between positions” myself, I developed a knack to handicap salaries. I was somewhat concerned that this position wasn’t as senior as I thought. I phoned the recruiter and asked her to share the range for the position with me. I did not ask her to make me an offer, simply to provide some information before I continued.

“We don’t give out that information.”

“How will we get anywhere if you don’t give out that information?” I replied.

“We ask the candidates to tell us what they are making and then go from there.”

Yes, well, I will not be doing that. Perhaps a different tack.

“Well, I think this position may be paying in a range of x to y. However, I already make more than y, so were you to make me an offer in that range, I would be disappointed, as I’m sure, so would you. Is this position paying x to y?”

“We could be competitive with that.”

What does that mean? “You must have a budget for the position.”

“Yes, we do.”

“And what would that be?”

A little giggle on the other end of the phone. Seriously, she laughed at me. She indicated that she would need to speak to the hiring manager before she could provide me with any concrete information.

Since I was sure I had blown it, I called my reference to let her know what had happened. She didn’t like what she heard and relayed this event to the individual who had recruited her: the manager of the recruiter I was dealing with. Imagine my surprise when that afternoon, I received a call from the manager of human resources for this company.

“I just wanted to get some feedback from you on how the process was going.”

I proceeded to have a nice conversation with this woman, who, wonder of wonders, disclosed to me the range for the position. How refreshing!

I thanked her for the information, as price communicates something about a job. It tells you about the level of discretion this position will have, the qualifications expected and where it sits in the organization. Clearly, a job paying $50,000 is not going to have the same level of decision making and autonomy attached to it that a job paying $100,000 will. She asked me not to disclose to the recruiter that we had this conversation, and to "let the process play out." I agreed.

The recruiter eventually phoned me back and indicated a range that the hiring manager would be willing to offer. I thanked her as well, and indicated my availability for a second round of interviews.

“My scheduler will be in touch.”
Three business days pass, no word. The day before the interview was targeted to be scheduled, I prompted her with an email. “The schedule came out today. Didn’t you receive it?” Actually, no I didn’t. I adjusted my schedule so I can attend the second round with members of 2 functional areas that I would be supporting.

Today, I received an email that read as follows:
"both Jim and John enjoyed meeting you. It was also nice to see you again.
I met with Joe Hiring Manager this morning and we are working on putting together an offer for you.
I will be in touch soon."

=================================================================

Class.....?

Related Articles
The Wicked Recruiter: Waiting for the Offer...
Salary Negotiations

Real and Imagined Business Panic

2011-03-15T23:14:00.001-04:00

Bunny Watson, Student at Large

A story comes to us this morning that Spokesduck Gilbert Gottfried has been dismissed by Aflac for a steady stream of tweets making light of conditions in post-earthquake Japan. We might all agree to cry "Too Soon!" on this play; when you are the voice of an insurance company.... well, that just won't do.

Oh, our Tweets will undo us, won't they? Tweets are the new Send-All email gaffes we all made 15 years ago. We all have a story of accidentally sending to an entire distribution list an off-color joke or response to the company meeting. And that was just an extension of being caught passing the slam-book from row to row.

We at the Finishing School already hold you personally responsible for what you do. This post is for the management. Because it can be difficult to know when something requires crisis communication... and when you are just doing more damage. The public does want to know you are in control, yes. They want to feel confident that "you people" re not running some "kind of show." A PR crisis is what company spokesmen train so hard for, like raw recruits who just want the chance to show what they got. And as we have become accustomed to the pattern of Incident, followed by on-line polls by so-called news agencies asking what we think of Said Incident, and whether Offender should Apologize, then Formal Apology and Eventual Firing... we may be losing sight of the scale of crisis.

We must praise this story on the American Red Cross -- an organization with its share of public image trouble, since every time America gets inspired enough to give them blood, they seem to have trouble handling it. (reference one, and reference two). In this case, a cooler management head prevailed, and a simple "I'm so stupid" acknowledgment and a joke at their own expense put the entire matter in its right place in the news cycle. Even the other company implicated found the opportunity to come out ahead (and let us know there is a thing called beernews.org).

Whether the Tweeting employee was more strongly disciplined behind closed doors, we don't know, and don't need to. We are glad to know that not everyone gets fired for every boneheaded error, however public -- that there are still Ones to Grow On , even for our media-savvy Media Specialists. The Red Cross's official spokeswoman masterfully addressed the public "concern" while reminding us of the brand and the mission: “We are an organization that deals with life-changing disasters and this wasn’t one of them,”she said.

Nicely played.

****************************************************

Please remember that blood products have a short shelf life. The International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies needs blood every day. For the catastrophes, cash is better. Give what you can, whenever you can.

Ask a Manager: Taking one for the Team

2011-03-02T18:28:00.000-05:00

The Finishing School welcomes our guest manager, "Patty Hewes," to respond to a recent Ask the Manager question.

Note: some facts in the letter below have been omitted or altered to obscure the workplace. The letter is otherwise genuine.

I am so frustrated.
For 3 years I had been telling the VP that my staff's salaries (and mine) were depressed. I had been told that we would be benchmarking the exempt positions and at that time would make the adjustments, [so] I beefed up my job descriptions for my department [and] the consultants [recommended] my job [go] up 3 pay grades. But my company will only increase me 2 pays grades. (They base your increases on the midpoint of the range.) My manager… has determined that he is only willing to pay me 80% of the midpoint... I am aware that my peers in this same department, different unit, are all getting paid at 90 to 95% of the midpoint in the same pay grade (2 pay grade increase).

If I were doing a mediocre job, this could and would be acceptable. But I have gotten nothing but praise from people from all over the company. Several of the VPs are constantly singing my praises. My own VP is singing my praises. I have turned the morale of my department around and it has affected the department that works in conjunction with mine and turned them around. I am master-prepared which is not necessarily needed for my position of administration and management but is what my VP wanted, yet he is allowing my immediate manager to undermine and short change me on this matter.

One other item that I was dealing with at the same time was my manager's unwillingness to promote one of my employees based on her years of experience and education. I had planned to promote her to a Sr. level position as a way to get her salary up. Because she had only been with the company for 18 months, he believed it was too soon. He failed to take into consideration her 25 years of experience elsewhere or the fact that she had her masters.

Right or wrong, I [canceled a meeting my VP] to discuss the above issues as well as other matters concerning my staff and lack of support:

Prior to canceling my meeting, I sent a note to my manager and copied my VP reviewing [my employee's] years of experience, her education, the facts of the changes to our program and the positive outcome, I did a spreadsheet reviewing all that she had accomplished in the past year. I asked my manager to reconsider her promotion.

After speaking with my VP [the following] Monday, my manager has agreed to promote her to a Sr. level position. His remarks to me prior to telling me he had reversed his decision what to ask this question. "If you had a custodial employee who had their masters, would you pay them the custodial salary or $100,000.00 b/c they had a masters?" I responded with, "I wouldn't have to worry about that because I would not hire a custodial with a masters. They would not stay in the job and would always be looking for another, higher paying job." There is no comparison. They wanted me to hire a masters prepared employee that could replace me if I should leave, yet they didn't want to compensate her.

"Denise"

Dear Reader,

I empathize with the obvious pain you are experiencing. You are very emotional about the conflicts you experienced in pursuing pay increases for your staff. I applaud your persistence in being an advocate for your team. Compensation can be a tricky and emotionally laden issue, and unless you're in environments like the public sector (where pay grades are public) or in union environments where collective bargaining establishes compensation by grade, conversations about fair compensation can be somewhat subjective.

Try to exhibit an understanding of the constraints your management may have faced on the issue of pay raises. You’re pressing for 2 or 3 level pay grade and compensation increases during the worst economic climate in decades. Many workers, including those in unions, have been asked to sacrifice compensation in recent years. Salaries have been frozen, workers asked to take unpaid furloughs, layoffs have been widespread and unemployment has hovered at levels not seen since the early 1980's. Possibly, your industry has been less impacted by the recession, but there are few that haven't been.

Benchmark
You took a constructive first step by revisiting your position descriptions and having them benchmarked against market standards. That the revised position descriptions justified 2-3 level pay grade increases indicates this probably hadn't been done in a while. When it was revealed that you were all significantly below market compensation, you should have kept the economic constraints mentioned above in mind when seeking resolution with management. One option you might have explored was a commitment from your management to move the affected employees closer to the midpoint of the target range over the course of multiple review cycles vs. pressing for immediate pay raises.

Another item that concerns me is your seeking a promotion for an employee "as a way to get her salary up". Promotions are generally driven both by an employee's demonstrated ability to take on more responsibility and by the needs of the business. I suspect this is where the manager’s comment about the $100K custodian originated.

Employees and managers should regularly educate themselves about the market value of their own skills and those of their teams so that they doesn't find themselves in this position in the future. Follow Steven Covey's advice to "seek to understand before you seek to be understood"; i.e. anticipate the constraints of the other party when entering a negotiation and formulate resolution strategies that can work for both sides.

Expand Your Learning:

Pay raise calculator

salary benchmarking strategies
From PayScale.com
From karlonia.com

Have a question for our executives in residence?
Your sticky situations and request for advice are handled by real working professionals at the leadership tier. Your confidentiality is protected. Write us at a bwfinishingschool@gmail.com

No Sneakers at the Office - Adam Scholl (Book tour)

2011-02-27T07:26:00.001-05:00

In Miss Bender's real life workplace, she informally mentors a young professional with real spark, drive, and upward mobility. (She keeps Miss Bender honest, to tell you the truth.) Recently, we were talking about some exploring in the job market this NewPro has been doing -- fly fishing really, but you never know when something may strike. Her biggest concern of the moment (though she has no upcoming prospects from these on-line searches) is how she will manage to squeeze an interview into her workday.

She says, "I can't suddenly show up one day dressed up." Because of course her daily attire is jeans, t-shirt over longer t-shirt, and those yes-they-are-sneakers the Red Bull generation wear these days.

I said, with sincere nodding as I crossed my stockinged legs, "That's where you are making your mistake."

As the peskier of the 2 schoolmarms who run this Finishing School, Miss Bender does occasionally check in with the student body on their state of dress, is known to give the once-over during class change, and keeps a black blazer on hand in case you are called to the front office.

As another class enters an already-downsized workforce this spring, The BWFSandSC wants to remind you that appearances do count, and we do take off for spelling. Your baseball cap in a meeting room is not at all like taking a stand about not wearing a dress to your First Communion. That was acceptable because you were seven. Just because your workplace doesn't issue you a uniform, doesn't mean there isn't one.

Into this confusing office culture comes a new guide for new professionals, on everything from office wear basics to etiquette, including business travel, office politics, finding a mentor, managing your time. These are the things we used to learn in 5th grade health class, but we understand education has changed and you are not often asked to stretch outside of your comfort zone.

Author Adam T. Scholl, MBA, JD, and former Guardsman, has worked in a variety of industries and businesses, and brings that experience to bear in No Sneakers at the Office, which Amazon.com describes as "a step-by-step guide for college seniors, fresh-outs, and professionals under 30 seeking to enter, survive and thrive in corporate America." Scholl talks about the motivation to share that guide to an emerging workforce in serious need.

Why did you name your book No Sneakers at the Office?
My publisher derived the title from a story that I tell in the opening chapter. The story illustrates in part why it is important for persons new to the corporate world to know that the mannerisms and behaviors that may have defined one’s time at school will simply not fly in an office environment.

What are the three biggest mistakes that recent college grads are making as they enter the workforce and how can they fix them?
The three biggest mistakes that I have noticed are

overconfidence
a weak appreciation of time management
poor communication

While confidence is by no means a bad thing and can do much to help recent college grads ascend the corporate ladder, they need to understand that while a college degree is a great achievement, it does not mean their learning days are over. When it comes to time management, grads need to adopt a time management process so that they manage their workload properly (which is why in No Sneakers at the Office I devoted an entire chapter on this subject). Grads must understand how to communicate successfully so that their message is received and understood by others.

What is it that recent college grads don't know that could hurt them?
It is not realizing the importance of their professional reputation. The business community is smaller than one realizes. Your reputation influences employment where you work and where you may wish to work in the future.

Give us a couple of examples of fresh-out success stories.
While on vacation standing at the check-in line at a hotel, I made small talk with a woman who subsequently introduced me to her son. He and I spoke for a great length discussing topics from how to get hired to the difference between a job and a career, which I explain in my book. From this conversation we continued to work to get him the position he wanted. Because of his hard work improving his resume, improving his interview skills, and more, I am delighted to report that he got a position he likes. Now, it is not the perfect position but it is a position that will allow for him to progress in his career path. More importantly, his career is progressing successfully because he is not afraid to ask for help and he is open to new ideas.

What is it that you know for sure after writing this book?
The one thing I know for sure after writing this book is that learning is a lifetime process. Even with my degrees and experience in the corporate world, there is not a day that goes by where I don’t learn something new. I use the experiences, advice, and suggestions from people I meet to create an ever increasing toolkit of business skills and abilities.

No Sneakers at the Office makes a perfect graduation gift. But you can bet they will roll their eyes when they open it.

Tell us your Office Lessons Learned Young through our comments window, or by joining our Facebook fanpage. We'll be posting micro-excerpts from Scholl's guide throughout the day for your reactions.

Help Wanted: Female

2011-02-25T18:00:00.002-05:00

Instructor, Caroline Bender

Student Z.N. asks, "Why are women preferred to men for secretarial positions?" and what the question generated was an exploration of whether that statement is necessarily true. That is certainly our recent, western, cultural belief, but has certainly not always been so. When did it change, and what is the status of that alleged preference today, in a business world where women now proportionately outnumber men?

"Secretary" as a job title has fallen out of favor, and the role exists far less than it did, especially in the corporate arena. Miss Bender's personal observation is that they only exist at the top levels, are more likely to be called "Admins" (with a little less reverence than they were when they outranked all the other secretaries) and tend to be shared by multiple execs (heavens!).

The Department of Labor breaks Office and Administrative Support Occupations (43-000, if you are coding along) into 58 sub-categories, which include postal, workers and shipping clerks. Secretarial roles by name are 4 of them (executive -1.3M, medical-469K, legal-244K, and other-1.8M). Incidentally, these are 2009 stats, before economic collapse.

Bureau of Labor Statistics confirms 96% of the 3M secretaries and administrative assistants are female,

Before the Modern age, secretarial duties were a clerk's role: appointments, correspondence, general gatekeeping, somewhere between a butler of the workplace and a batman. In 1996, Ebony magazine ran a man-bites-dog story about the rise of "male secretaries" which cited the usual reference of the popularity of the typewriter bringing young women into the office, and adds, "By the 1930s, the number of men in secretarial positions began to diminish." ("Male Secretaries: A Minority but No Longer a Novelty," Ebony, August 1996)

The real question is why the complete conversion, in 80 years of rapid technological, educational, and social advances, from a male to female gender-defined occupation. Did the women dominate.... or did the men just opt out? And is the answer the same for nurses, school teachers, dental hygienists? (most female occupation -- did you know? I didn't.)

One of the men in the Ebony article defines the fulfillment he gets from his secretarial work this way:

"Serving others and being on top of things and networking with counterparts are only a few of the rewards achieved from this career. When one can take pride in the accomplishments in a day's work and know that as a result you have added a dimension to the situation, this really is gratifying." (Ebony, 1996)

On the other hand, it was another man who famously observed "secretarial work was real drudgery," and did something about it by developing a word processor with type one could manipulate on screen ("An Wang: getting to the essentials." Nation's Business, Dec 1987).

There are plenty of women who find drudgery in the secretarial role as well. After all, 96% of all secretaries in the US may be women, but barely 5 % percent of women are secretaries by the BLS definition. I'd like to report that the rest of us are scattered liberally throughout all professions, but it remains that our most prevalent occupations are what you would expect (same BLS source as above):

Secretaries and administrative assistants, 3,074,000
Registered nurses, 2,612,000
Elementary and middle school teachers, 2,343,000
Cashiers, 2,273,000
Nursing, psychiatric, and home health aides, 1,770,000
Retail salespersons, 1,650,000
First-line supervisors/managers of retail sales workers, 1,459,000
Waiters and waitresses, 1,434,000
Maids and housekeeping cleaners, 1,282,000
Customer service representatives, 1,263,000
Child care workers, 1,228,000
Bookkeeping, accounting, and auditing clerks, 1,205,000
Receptionists and information clerks, 1,168,000
First-line supervisors/managers of office and administrative support workers, 1,163,000
Managers, all other, 1,106,000
Accountants and auditors, 1,084,000
Teacher assistants, 921,000
Cooks, 831,000
Office clerks, general 821,000
Personal and home care aides, 789,000

Wage gap figures also continue to cite the female wage as 80 cents to the male dollar. ("...median weekly earnings of women who were full-time wage and salary workers was $657, or 80 percent of men’s $819" -- BLS 2009) What is reflected in this gap is the low-paying nature of work where women are prevalent (above) compared to the high-paying work where men have been prevalent (skilled, manual, dangerous, and ... to be honest, sports.)

But bacon is bacon. 34.5% of married women out earned their husbands in 2008, and based on current unemployment breakdown by gender, we can extrapolate that the % is higher today. Last summer The Atlantic dove deeply into the question of whether equality was being realized, or if women were simply becoming the new men. I must, by necessity, link you to that very long article to continue this conversation.

Your comments are always welcome, and your articles in reply are even more so.

Please Speak Up

2011-02-21T11:51:00.000-05:00

Instructor, Caroline Bender

File this under things the Finishing School will tell you that clearly no one else will: You need to speak up. Young ladies, this is not what we fought girls' gym, coffee runs, taking the notes in any meeting, and junior deputy assistant titles for -- for you to mutter, mumble, and talk in a high-pitched voice through a clenched jaw while looking at the floor.

Oh yeh, I am riled up now. And you'd better believe I am not, like.... ending every phrase....? in a, like... question...? This behavior is exactly what we mean when we use the term "can't get out of your own way."

Somewhere along that way, you have retreated from the awesome, cartwheeling, chatty 9-year olds you were into skittish pinch-voiced wallflowers, and it is holding you back. I am not speaking to the 14 year-olds (though heaven knows we should be working on this with you) but to women in our workforce, 20s and early 30s, who can not command a room -- because we can not hear them. Recently, I was making a purchase at a counter, and I could not hear the total price spoken to me by the cashier. I said, with open FM throat, "I'm sorry?" And, god bless her, she repeated it loudly. ( well, more loudly)

You may believe you have a soft voice, or a high-pitched one. This does not prevent you from projecting it, and your ideas, to your audience (of 1 or of many). A swallowed statement tells others
- what you say is not important
- you are not important enough to say it
- you are not sure about it
- you can not be bothered

And we know none of that is true.

Think of the women you admire in your workplace. Think of the ones who command the respect of others, the ones everyone attends to when they are speaking, the ones other speakers choose to direct their eye contact to. Pay attention to the way they speak. Even our beloved Tess McGill knew what Katherine Parker had going on; her ethics and motives were questionable, but people listened when she spoke. (That's a Working Girl reference, required viewing here at BWFS.)

We know you would be working on this if you only had some tips, so here a few ideas for how to improve your vocal projection, and by extension your professional confidence and standing. You will be surprised by the results.

Listen to yourself - Record meetings that you attend, and especially those that you lead. This can be done the old-fashioned way, with a hand-held recording device, by phone through your conference line, or on-line using a meeting management tool like WebEx or LiveMeeting. In all cases, you'll want to announce to attendees that you are doing so, and ask if there are objections (this is actually a legal requirement in some states, so best to do it for all.) It is not appropriate in all situations, so use your best judgment. You do not have to tell people why -- you may say, for example, you've found it helpful for note-taking and action items (which it is). Play it back on your own time and critique what you hear.

Work on your growth areas in small bites - Assess yourself on volume, "listenability," and content, of course. I once worked with an experienced accomplished co-worker whose information bank I needed to draw from often. Unfortunately, he did not modulate his pitch to a single degree. My brain worked so hard to find the spaces between his words and the ones that required "punch," that I couldn't hang on to his meaning.

Experts recommend about 8 notes in your spoken words. And the last word of the sentence should not be so much higher that people think you are asking a question. It suggests uncertainty. Even high-pitched voices can project confidence -- any listen to NPR ought to convince you of that.

Identify your "um" noises - might be "like," "ya know," "know what I mean," or actually "um..." and "uh..." Concentrate on letting them go.

Study others - speaking of which, here are some authoritative women's voices of varying types that share the commonality of holding your attention. You don't need to be Oprah Winfrey to rule the platform, though she is a great bar to set. (editorial note - these are mostly Youtube links. We apologize for any ads you must endure)

High - Yeardley Smith (aka - Lisa Simpson, no one's shrinking flower). Compare Yeardly to her interviewer, and you'll see the key difference
Low - Rachel Maddow. Here she is with a tableful of female tenors
Soft - Katie Couric. In this clip, Katie also talks about voice and body calibration. Good tips here too.
Loud - Linda Ellerbee. Way before her time -- TV had little space for her, since David Brinkley was still on the air.
Accented - Nothing says authority like Christiane Amanpour
Impeded - Ask Connie Chung if a lisp is a show stopper. Then ask Sarah Vowell.
(and just for fun, Sarah on Rachel)

Practice - at every opportunity. Privately, try reading aloud, singing in the shower, talking back to the TV, imitating actresses you admire. Publicly, practice your meetings and presentations before you give them. If you have mentors you trust to critique your work, take them into your goal and invite them to coach you before and after your presentation.

There is a Toastmasters chapter within an hour of you -- maybe even less, maybe even on the job. Toastmasters International, founded in 1924 is dedicated to "improv[ing]...communication and leadership skills, and [helping members] find the courage to change."

Learn when to stop speaking, as well as when to speak. An opinion expressed well in a few words is always stronger than a filibuster that doesn't hold water.

Believe you can - You will see the rewards of positive speaking almost immediately. Use the reactions of your audience to build on your confidence.

Repeat - The more you work on the things you want to improve, the more you succeed at doing so.

Outside Reading

Why public speaking skills are important

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You can do anything for a year

2011-02-07T23:29:00.000-05:00

Instructor, Caroline Bender

The title of this essay is a common theme around the Finishing School. We find platitudes to be useful devices, particularly when they can also serve as mantras. We'll explore more of them in future installments, like "I'm a consultant," and "it's just something for the summer." "Be careful what you wish for." "Which would you regret more..."

These have been trying times, as we are all aware. In the bleakness of the Mother of all Recessions, you may have taken the first thing that came along, or the part-time version of what you really wanted, or the position reporting to the position you are really qualified for. And your faculty likely offered, in encouragement....

Experts may not be able to agree on how many days it takes to make a habit, but it takes at least a calendar year and a full 4 quarters of business year to understand what you have gotten yourself into.... and what you are getting out of it.

Happy Anniversary. Getting through the first year is not the focus of this essay. You do that by being dazzling, open-minded to the culture, and a valuable asset. All the way to the bank. This essay challenges you to face the second year.

Assess your goals - what were they for this job, really? They have been completely pragmatic - keep the house, pay the bills, avoid new debt -- in which case, congratulations! You met them! They won't appear on your performance review, and it is best not to mention them among The Brass, but to yourself, say Atta Girl. Then vow to drop 80's Lady bizslang. It is not becoming.

Reassess your goals - if your goals were loftier, and remain unfulfilled, take some time to evaluate them with fresh eyes. Take a couple of days for this assessment. You need the time to really reflect, personal inventory style. How did these goals fail to be met? What part have you played in that? You may have set goals that you realize can not be met in this environment. If that's the case, shape that goal to something more attainable. Remember to make it Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely. If the original goal might still be attainable, review what part you played in missing it, and find incremental objectives for getting closer to that goal.

Not much of a goal-setter? That happens. Maybe you like to feel more "in the now" than that. It is a legitimate lifeway. However, it does require you to complain a lot less about where you are in that "now." Even Ekhart Tolle will tell you, "When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness."
So don't project goals; we won't make you. Instead, your assignment is to reflect on the events of the day like this:

What did I not like about my workplace today?
How was that situation or event created? How did I participate in it rather than turn it into something pleasant?
Yes, this takes a great deal of presence of energy. But you're the one who wanted to live in the Now.

Plan. or Dream. Picture your next anniversary. Imagine who you are in that picture, and what you can do (or not do) to realize that picture. What part will you play in fulfilling such a prophecy?

Why not try this for a year? We think you can do it.

Ask a Manager: My Reputation is at Stake

2010-10-31T11:14:00.005-04:00

Note: some facts in the letter below have been omitted or altered to obscure the workplace. The letter is otherwise genuine.

Dear Finishing School:

Just read the Workplace Dangers – Manipulative People article...

I have a great career – 18 years. 8 long years ago we hired a master manipulator. She comes off as sweet and innocent and has bought and paid for undying loyalty of all of more co-workers...She has been after me since she started here. Has lied about me, manipulated every one, tried to destroy me and has been successful. (By the way, I work with all men)

The manipulator is not my boss; however, I [do] have a new boss... Because of THE manipulator, our old boss said" to hell with it" and retired. The new boss loves her and thinks she should be able to do whatever she wants.

It has taken her years to destroy me, as she has had to make it personal. She has eroded relationships one by one by telling each individual that I say things about them that I absolutely do not say.

I could write a novel, but this is just one example of many...I have tried to tell people how she is,, but now they won’t listen despite having a very trusting relationship with me for years. They’ve finally bought in to her lies and now I’m in danger of losing my job. Her goal is to see me out the door. She is the type that wants to be everybody’s “favorite” and she needs me completely out of her way.

How do I reverse the damage she has done? How do I convey to everyone what she is and have them believe me? How do you expose these people without looking like you’re the crazy one?

This correspondence must be held in absolute confidence. "Irene"

Dear Reader,

You’ve painted a pretty bleak picture here. I am sorry to see that you are going through such a tough time, particularly after so many productive years. I probably need to know a lot more about the personalities involved, the options you might have in your work environment, and the motivation behind your coworker’s attacks. That said, I think I get the general idea. Based on that, I want to give you some high level tips that might help to give you some focus.

But first, I’d like to tell you about two of my kids. My oldest son "Russ" is twelve years old. He’s a great kid: a gifted student, a talented musician, an athlete, and a wonderful, caring son. He is also very intense and can be a bit of a control freak. He’s often struggled with sharing that spotlight with his younger brothers.

My youngest son "Eddie" is seven years younger. He is intense in a different way. He’s a comedian, cute as hell and full of mischief. He does some wild things but generally has everyone wrapped around his little finger because he’s such a charmer.

These two don’t always get along so well. The biggest fight always comes when Russ is standing in his T-shirt and boxers, talking to Mom and Dad, before going off to bed or on a weekend morning after getting up for breakfast. Eddie loves to sneak up behind his brother and yank those boxers to the floor. (Unfortunately for Russ, he does this a lot.)

Now when this happens, Eddie always laughs and laughs while Russ FREAKS OUT. He will wave his hands in the air and scream and yell (boxers still on the floor) followed by a round of angry chasing and slapping and general chaos. It’s a scene.

The unfortunate thing that generally happens next is that Mom and Dad end up scolding Russ for all of the yelling and screaming and violence. Is that fair? Not at all. He was clearly the one who was attacked. But a much bigger child cannot be physically abusing the little one. That, in addition to the noise level and pandemonium that he creates, is just a lot to take. (Hey, we’re not perfect. We have three sons. We’re tired. It’s just a human reaction. I’m not saying it’s right.)

So in all of this, upstart Eddie gets a big load of attention, and wounded Russ ends up looking quite crazy. My point is, as you put it yourself, he has been around longer, he's a good performer who gets wronged and tries to fight it, but the authorities don't see it that way.

Barbs can't be backed out

It looks like your manipulator has already gotten her hooks in at a very deep level. Clearly, you are not in a position of strength. As hard as it is to accept it, you will have to let go of the notion of exposing her, turning the tables on her, or overthrowing her. You can’t win that fight.

She has a cannon and you have a slingshot (and it sounds like you don’t even have a rock to put in it.) If she is attacking, you don’t want to go for a head-on collision. You don’t block a punch with a punch, you know? Okay enough with the male-centric mixed metaphors.

Anytime someone is accused of something he or she didn’t do, the natural reaction is to fight back and scream from the rooftops. Unfortunately, everybody likes a good story and the writhing-and-kicking denials only add fuel to the fire. If you point back at this gal and start your own campaign against her, it can look like defensive slander. At best, all these men in the office can look at this as a vicious fight between the two of you with you both as equal participants. That doesn’t help you either.

Narrow Your Focus

Right you are trying to do several things at once: refute allegations, expose her as a fraud, win over the boss,

restore your reputation, and get her out of your company. I recommend you focus on a singular goal, which is simply your own survival.

Ultimately, if all of these men that you work with are so willing to believe bad things about you, you really ought to think about whether this is the right environment for you. I would look long and hard at your surroundings and how you have been treated in general – not just by her -- and decide if this is where you want to be. If not, you can set some goals to move on long-term and then focus on your survival as a short-term initiative. By that I mean that you should stabilize things while you look elsewhere.

Maybe this reflection will bring up some reasons that you want to stay; but within that, I think you need to assume that even in the best case scenario, you and your nemesis will both be there. Either way, you will want to keep working on getting yourself to a better place so that it’s bearable if you stay and if you leave it will be on your own terms, and not in a cloud of defeat that will haunt you for years to come.

And how do you survive?

• Do your job and do it well. Don’t give anyone a reason to think that you are "no good" based on your own actions.

• Be kind and professional toward everyone. Same reason as above. And yes, everyone. Even if it kills you. Don’t overdo it, either. No hi-pitched phony pleasantries or forced smiles accompanied by eye-rolls…just keep it all matter-of-fact and keep yourself from sinking to the behavior you are trying to combat.

• Challenge other coworkers when they present you with things they have "heard." For example, “Bob, you’ve known me for a long time. Have you ever heard me speak badly about someone else?” You might even go so far as to say “if someone tells you something like this bout me, what makes you believe it?”

Now this is important. Just ask the question. Don’t push it hard. And never mention the manipulator by name or say anything derogatory about her.

• Be yourself. Focus on yourself and your job. Do your best to ignore external inputs, hard as that might be.

Find Your Allies

Perhaps it’s not everyone who has turned against you. When you are going through something like thi,s it can feel like you have no allies, but there might be some people in the office who aren’t riding that bandwagon. Some might see the manipulator for what she is, and simply choose not to be vocal about it.

Some recognize that you have a long history as productive coworker and are not aware that there is a problem.

Some might not care about the situation one way or another. I would be willing to bet that there are at least a few people who aren’t thinking about this at all. That might sound harsh, but my point is that it will be easier for you to focus on your survival if you can avoid magnifying the problem in your head. It’s a pretty serious problem already. No need to add even more to it because it is making you feel so isolated.

Finally, with that in mind, I would like you to consider whether there might be someone in the office that you find trustworthy enough to share in some proactive exploration with you. I mentioned above that you should answer allegations with frank challenges to the logic of the situation by asking them to give you details on what they think or why they believe it. This approach assumes that you have people actively confronting you with their beliefs. You might not have that luxury. If you really want to tackle this head-on, you might consider finding the right coworker (or two, or three) and asking them outright for some feedback on how you are doing.

Be Ready for the Response

It is extremely important to do this in a way that does not appear defensive. No folded arms or pinched faces, please. Just something like “Larry, I’d like to get your opinion of how I’m doing with my work…can you tell me what you think I am doing well, and what I am doing not so well?”

Then you listen.

If the coworker doesn’t seem to want to share, you can guide the conversation a bit by saying things like “I think I’m pretty good at X, but I’ve been working on Y…have you seen that?” From there, you can get to the big one, which looks something like this, “I’ve heard that people [“people”…not her] might think Z about me and I’m concerned about that. Do you have this perception of me? Do you think others do? Can you tell me why you think this might be?” And then depending where the conversation goes, you can ask the other questions that I outlined above, which are meant to get the other person thinking about the logic of the situation.

If you can do this with a few people, possibly including your boss, you might learn something that you don’t know already. You might find some things that you can change or work on to help the situation. More importantly, you will have made a few connections with people who will now be less likely to accept untruths about you in the future. When someone has the courage to open herself up and ask for feedback – to expose herself in sharing what she thinks of herself while asking for input – it is pretty hard to dismiss that person on a superficial level ever again. The memory of that conversation will stick.

You might even find yourself with a few people who will defend you. And hopefully, you won’t feel so alone.

Don Draper, Resident Manager

Related Posts

Workplace Dangers: The Predatory Mentor

Working with a Master Manipulator

Surviving the Boss

All the World’s a Stage

2010-09-14T06:24:00.001-04:00

Guest Blogger Mary O'Donnell, Fundraiser, Performer...MBA

Following up a recent Business Women’s Finishing School article about the work of a performer, I have expanded on some of the lessons from the theater world that can be applied in the corporate world.

1. Be prepared.

Like a job interview, an audition is all about research and preparation. I always read the play before I audition, and if it’s a musical, I familiarize myself with the score. I had the opportunity to audition for (name drop) Ben Affleck for the first movie he directed. I got a call the day before the audition, bought the book and read it before the audition the next morning. Although I did not get the part, he was impressed that I had read the book on such short notice so that I could better understand what he was looking for in the on-camera audition.

2. Know the players and their expectations.

You often have one or two minutes to do a “cold reading” for a director or casting agent, so you’d better know as much about the client as you do about the characters before the audition. On-camera auditions involve clients who have clear expectations about the age, hair color, etc. for their characters. If they say memorize the script and wear a business suit, do it.

3. Establish clear goals.

Theaters projects have short time frames and lots of moving parts in various stages at any point in time. If the goals and timelines are not clear for all of the participants onstage and backstage, the project can grind to a halt.

4. Focus on your own goals.

When you are onstage acting, singing and dancing, there is no room in your brain to think about anything else but executing the script, your own staging, props and costume changes. There is no point in worrying about what everyone else is doing or not doing. If everyone focuses on achieving their own prescribed goals, it all comes together like a quilt—a crazy quilt, but an integrated whole nonetheless.

5. Rally the troops around a single shared vision

In any theatrical production, there is a specific script, but each actor uses his or her unique skills and perspective to interpret that script to bring it to life. The director’s job is to bring out the best in every performer through a process of respecting the actors’ instincts and interpretations, having a solid vision for the end product, and helping all the actors achieve that shared vision.

6. Don’t take feedback personally

In the theater world, rejection is constant, and you can’t take it personally. I go into every audition doing my best, but I know that there are too many elements of the audition outside my control. The local theater circuit is a very small world with a smaller number of directors who have their friends, and cliques reign. A director may have very strong ideas about the physical “type” required for a role. Sometimes you’re just not the vision the director has in his or her brain, and it’s more about your build and hair color than how well you read in an audition. Accept it, and move on to the next project.

7. “There are no small parts, only small actors.”

Everyone is essential to success of a theatrical production. Period. See #8, #9 and #10.

8. It takes a village

The people the audience never sees usually outnumber the performers onstage and are vital to the success of a show: the guy backstage who built and moves the set pieces, the person who figures out a special effect, the lighting designer, the prop person who creates the 1959 newspaper, the costume designer, the stage manager who runs the show, and the volunteers who do the publicity. This is a team effort, and everyone needs to pitch in on some less glamorous parts of the project to get the job done.

9. With concerted effort by all, today’s chaos can be tomorrow’s success.

“Tech week” is the week just before a theatrical production opens. The set is onstage for the first time, the technical people are setting light cues, the orchestra is suddenly there, actors have quick costume changes to figure out, and everyone’s patience is tested. Tech week is a very compressed version of a product launch where what looks like a looming disaster on Sunday becomes Friday’s successful opening night.

10. It’s a small world

Your reputation can be broken in an instant. One false step, diva moment or negative remark will be transmitted cryptically through Facebook status and backstage conversations, reaching everyone in the theater microcosm. As Heidi Klum says on Project Runway, “One minute you’re in , and the next you’re out!” If you have a reputation for being difficult to work with or unable to be a team player, you will not get the part.

Am I My Resume?

2010-08-16T21:14:00.056-04:00

20 questions for performing artists

East Coast and West Cost comedy come together in friendly harmony for our latest installment of “20 Questions.” Caroline Bender sat down with 3 talented women for a round of 20 Questions that explores the professional environment of the working actor/comedian, to expand our horizons in the world of work. What us to spotlight the "workplace" of your profession? Email the Finishing School at bwfinishingschool@gmail.com.

Deana Tolliver is Associate Managing Director of ImprovBoston, where she has been performing professionally for 6 years, in improvisation, sketch, and musical theatre. Her kids have joined the family business as the go-to cast for short films and live bits

From Los Angeles, meet Robyn Simms, a 20 year veteran of the funny, from acting and writing to costume design and puppetry. Her short film "Sisyphus" has played a number of prestigious film fests, including Palm Springs Shortsfest and the LA Comedy Shorts '09 and won a jury prize at the FilmOneFest. Robin is currently the assistant director of the Santa Barbara Minute Film Festival (the films are not small; they are 60 seconds long).

Sara Faith Alterman (also known by her nom de blog, “SFA”) is a bicoastal performer frequently subjected to bad in-flight comedy as she travels between San Francisco and Boston to practice her crafts – primarily, as co-producer of Mortified: Boston, and a member of San Francisco’s The Loose Interpretations. To the IRS, Sara Faith works full time as a freelance writer. She is working on her third book and contributes the occasional feature article.

Not all the comedians Miss Bender knows are Emerson College graduates. Just the best ones.

CB: I tend to start these interviews with a naïve question based completely on stereotype. Working in performing arts seems to me like a constant stream of job interviews. Or dating. How does it compare to, say, a business interview or a job application?

Robyn: It is totally a constant stream of job interviews. You know when they like you. I find it comforting when they at least like me, even if I don't book it. It's awful when you know they DON'T like you.

SFA: You have to constantly try to market yourself, then cross your fingers and hope for the best. I thought I did a really great job on that press release. Are they going to call me? Or are they going to choose some other starving idiot?

Deana: As artists we all kick into performance mode easily, and therefore we do incredibly well in job interviews. We can convince anyone to hire us. The problem is that we might not want that job. I had to learn to shift out of that mode long enough to ask the important questions so I could evaluate whether the job was right for the "real" me.

CB: Which describes the experience more accurately: Fame, High School Musical, American Idol, The Apprentice?

Deana: Is there a reality show where a stay at home mom takes a class and gets cast out of nowhere in a show? That was my experience. That should be a show...

Robyn: Fame- the original movie. It captures the thrilling soaring feelings of creating, and the really sh***y times too. When they have the hot shot grad as their waiter, the dancer having an abortion and Coco having to take off her shirt at the end. I stand by Fame. A fairy tale, yes. But one with actual reality.

SFA: I've only seen Fame, and the live theater version of High School Musical. Don't ask. So, I have no idea. But I DO get a lot of comparisons to the lovably annoying Rachel on Glee. Because I'm a diva. And Jewish. And I love knee socks.

CB: But the rejection - the rejection! How do you bounce back from "we'll call you"?
Robyn: You keep other irons in the fire at all times, and don't take it personally. It's a numbers game, and as long as a percentage of [it] is sticking to the wall, you know you got something.

Deana: Since I am [also] on the business side of things … I cast just as often as I want to be cast. I learned that there really is something specific folks are looking for. More often than not the choice is not about who is the most talented - when you get to this level everyone is talented. It's about the right look, the right vibe with other actors, the opinion of one person that day. There are so many variables that, at least for me, there is no way to take it personally. It's not about me, it's about what they need for the role.

CB: Yes, let's hear a pep talk. Tell us a story about nailing the audition.

Robyn: I just went through 3 rounds of phone interviews and one on-camera, and then booked it. We shot it over this past weekend, a game show pilot which we then won.

SFA: When I walked into my audition for the a cappella group I sing with, I was so nervous I thought I was going to boot all over my sheet music. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, opened my mouth...and f[lubb]ed up the opening lines of my song so badly that I had to start over. I just made a joke about it, slipped the director a fifty, and voila! Not only did I get in, but if you don't blink during the first 10 seconds of the latest promo for Hawaii 5-O, you'll catch me and the girls shoo-be-doo-bopping in front of the Golden Gate bridge.

Deana: The last commercial gig I got was amazing. I was the first person they saw for the role. The call was for a "Kelly Rippa" type. I got in, chatted them up, read the sides (part of the script) in a perky, Rippa-esque way - light news interview, morning show style. I finished and the director said, "I really wanted it to be more hard-hitting, like Barbara Walters". I wouldn't characterize Barbara Walters as hard-hitting, but what do I know. I asked if I could read again. I delivered a blend of Barbara Walters and Hank Phillippe Ryan - pensive, smart, then went for the jugular. He loved it. He was impressed with the reading, but he was more impressed that I could throw away the first reading so quickly and give him something completely different. He went out to the lobby and sent everyone else home. The shoot turned out to be a really fun day and has led to more work with that company.

CB: What have we seen you in?

Robyn: I have an episode of Tim and Eric Show this season-I'm in a Cinco commercial.

Deana: I perform at ImprovBoston at least once a week in various improv and sketch shows. This month you can see me in the Mainstage shows each Saturday at 8 & 10. I just finished a run of the musical Lube - which I wrote and starred in. I will also be hosting the Boston Improv Festival here at ImprovBoston September 8-12, featuring improvisers from all over the world.

SFA: The latest promo for Hawaii 5-O! Plus Mortified shows in Boston, LA, and San Francisco. And you can find my first two books on Amazon.

CB: What's a role/show you've always wanted to do but haven't?

Robyn: The wacky neighbor.

CB: I find that an obvious misuse of resources.

SFA: Saturday Night Live. It's been my lifelong dream to be a writer and performer for that glorious Svengali Lorne Michaels.

Deana: As comedians, we all have the same dream - getting on SNL or winding up with a tolerable sit com. In mine I play Ellen Degeneres' sister, we have a large family, our other sisters are Bonnie Hunt, Katherine O'Hara and Amy Poehler. You know, because we're all funny and blonde.

CB: These crazy kids today.... what are they doing wrong you would like to set them straight on? (is it ending sentences with prepositions, perhaps?)

SFA: Stop thinking that life would be so much more glamorous if you could just land a reality TV show for you and your posse.

Deana: If it isn't a joy for you there is no reason to do it. Each audition is an opportunity - even if you don't get the role it is not wasted time. A casting director might remember you for something else, that actress you met in the lobby might turn out to be a great contact or an even better friend.

CB: That sounds like good advice in any profession

Robyn: The crazy kids are doing everything right. I got no complaints about them.

CB: Correct our naive notion that Life is a Cabaret. But without calling me "chum."

Robyn: We have a saying at our house called "Circus Family." It is for when we have to do something (good or bad) that might seem really out of the ordinary to regular people. For instance- I have a coffin stored in the garage, for a short film [my husband] Steve wrote, but we have not gotten around to shooting yet. This weekend it's getting hauled out for a photoshoot that is being staged in our backyard.

Tomorrow, Dexter is coming with mommy to pick up the rented costume jacket at the fancy dry cleaners that has a giant popcorn machine for customers, 24 hour service and limo parking. The coat had to be specially cleaned because the animation guys wrapped it around an actual fish during the shoot this week. It was rented from a costume house where Dex and I spent a hour finding it in a warehouse the size of a football field. It was my job for the week-costuming a live action segment for Cartoon Network's "Flapjack."

Deana: Life is a Cabaret! Except without having to perform for the Germans' Weimar Republic.

SFA: It is. It's full of song and dance and terrible wigs.

CB: Describe one of the "special skills" on your resume and how you came by it.

Robyn: my favorite special skill I have is a very loud whistle. I learned how to do it the summer before 8th grade. I practiced a lot, and it is an awesome skill and the envy of many.

SFA: I can pick a lock with a credit card. I wish I could say I picked that one up in the pokey, but the truth is I was locked out of my dorm room in college and I was too lazy (or drunk?) to call security, so I figured it out.

Deana: I actually have "Single mother of two" under special skills - because it IS a special skill to juggle all this. I will refrain from telling you how I cam by that special skill in this interview, but if you ever want to grab a drink...

CB: It’s important that we acknowledge that in addition to practicing your crafts, you are all employed at full-time jobs, and Deana and Robyn, you are parents as well. It's so trendy to talk about work/life balance. How do you find work/work balance?

Deana: Divorce! It's honestly been a godsend for my career. Now that the kids are with their dad every other weekend I can travel to festivals and book more gigs. I mean, my personal life is a disaster but I have a lot more time for the funny. (I'm joking, I'm fine)

Robyn: I don't sleep. [T]he middle of the night seems to be the only time I can get the peace and solid time to create anything. This is a terrible cycle. I recently had two nights in a row of sleep- 10 hours and then an 8, and I felt amazing. But nothing got done-my house was a mess, no bills got paid, no emails answered and certainly no personal art was made.

SFA: Work/work balance is a tricky little bitch that's been playing hide and seek with me for my entire career. I have a hard time focusing on my "real" job sometimes, because I'm so excited about upcoming [Mortified] shows that I'll spend hours flipping through my old diaries, or fiddling around with arrangements of Beyonce songs on Finale. Is there a pill for that? Can you get me some? Basically, I sit around in my pajamas and stress out about my cell phone bill.

CB: What would it take for you to be a full-time performer ? How do you work to make that happen?

Robyn: Money to pay my bills when I'm not working, money to pay for a babysitter to watch my child while I exercised myself daily into a size 6, money for new pictures, money for a better wardrobe, money for more and constant grooming.

Deana: I have been very lucky to create a combo of administrative work/performing at ImprovBoston. It allows me to go on auditions, and then take time off to shoot things. I have a steady pay check and still get to work in the arts. Now, if someone wants to offer me a full-time performing gig that will be steady I'd love to chat with them! With two kids, the stability of having a "day job" is important - I just happen to have a really cool day job.

SFA: Honestly, it's all about the Benjamins, baby. If i could be confident that I'd be able to pay my rent, and that I wouldn't have to face too much rejection on a regular basis, I'd go for it. Wow, that makes me sound like a timid a****le. Maybe I should just go for it right now.

CB: When you imagine yourself in a completely different professional field, what do you think is most likely?

Deana: Teacher - which is sort of cheating because I teach here as part of my job. But I mean classroom teacher, like elementary school or something. A good teacher uses the same elements that we use in improvisation - tapping into what interests your audience and exploring that, setting up an environment that insists on supporting one another and thinking quickly on your feet.

Robyn: My fantasy jobs all seem to involve wearing smart looking suits with statement jewelry and working in an office. They also pay a lot. I'm always well groomed and have many material possessions. I think it always boils down to money. Happiness doesn't play into these fantasies at all, they are pure and utter Stuff Porn.

SFA: In my next life, I'd like to run an animal rescue organization.

CB: When do these kind of thoughts occur to you?

SFA: Every time I look at my dog, Noodle, who I rescued/kidnapped from Beijing, China in 2008.

Robyn: When I realize there is too much month at the end of the money.

Deana: But then I remember that teachers don't make any money either.

CB: Do you now, or have you ever, worked in a traditional office/cube type environment?

SFA: I was a reporter with The Boston Phoenix until 2009, but being a journalist, especially for an Alternative Weekly newspaper, isn't terribly traditional. I kept a bottle of whiskey in my desk, and would toss one back with my coworkers on a rough day. Don't think that would fly at a financial services company.

Deana: I have certainly worked in lots of offices, though I would not call any of them "traditional". They have all been crazy in some way or other. Maybe the common thread there is me, and when I am not there they are very normal places to work. I have also worked in very corporate environments where I had to wear suits all day, it just wasn't the right fit for me, but they were all great opportunities and led me to where I am now.

Robyn: For about 6 months at the beginning of my career in NYC, I was the receptionist at two different production houses. Both were terrible jobs. Had one of them been better, instead of making me think I would go postal, where would I be now?

CB: Anything you would (or do) borrow from that culture to benefit life backstage?

SFA: Being a successful business person means constantly having to go with the flow and not let unexpected obstacles trip you up too badly. And to constantly envision the big picture. That sort of mentality is tremendously helpful when you're trying to produce a show, or when you f*** up onstage.

Deana: [I]t is important whenever meeting directors, casting agents, and other actors to be very professional - some actors just don't get that. Be on time, be polite, follow up after the shoot to say thank you, simple things that the corporate world knows very well.

Robyn: The [entertainment] world I work in…IS corporate. Still art, but there is a lot of money at stake.

CB: What aspects of the arts/entertainment environment would benefit the corporate world?

Robyn: Craft Services would be a great morale booster. So would wacky costumes and better lighting.

SFA: The principals of improv are the same as those of negotiation and general communication; accept another person's idea and build upon it, rather than shoot it down. That idea makes for much more productive communication and idea/product development.

Deana: I am a corporate trainer as part of my day job. I teach businesses how to use the foundations of improv to benefit their bottom line. We teach people how to create corporate cultures that encourage support and creativity, that truly allow for ideas to grow, and that allow for better communication across all levels of the company. I truly believe that in order to have a successful business you need to embrace ideas, encourage humor and allow folks some fun in their day.

One to grow on...

Audio-Visual Aids
Sisyphus
Hawaii 5-0
Single Mother on Election Night

note: 20 questions round tables are conducted by email. Participants are not in actual conversation. But then, this isn't a real Finishing School. ~~CB

Ask a Manager: Is Nepotism a Mitigating Factor?

2010-08-11T09:00:00.000-04:00

Due to an upswing in business my workload has become crushing. My supervising manager has advised me to team with another administrative assistant. I have done so, or at least have tried to, but now this person is "constantly too busy" doing things like Internet shopping and gossiping away from her desk. (We are talking a couple of hours in a day, not a few minutes) and some actual work.

Here is the biggest problem: the admin I can not rely on is the daughter of one of the owners and has been with the company a lot longer than I have. I am afraid to say anything against her. How do I assert what's fair in a situation that is already one-sided?

Thanks, LW

Nepotism is an ugly fact of life in the workplace. I’ve seen it at all levels, and I’ve even had to deal with it in employees who have been assigned to work for me. As a conscientious manager, being put in that situation can put you on edge as you walk the line between playing the expected political game and trying to keep the respect of your other employees. Depending upon how in tune your manager is to that, it can impact the situation and how you should handle it. At a minimum, I recommend you consider where your manager might stand on the issue and how aware s/he is of the problem already.

The danger here is that presenting a scenario like this can put management on the defensive. If you make it seem like an attack on your manager’s judgment, he can shut down on you. Worse, if your manager interprets your concern about your coworker’s habits as an act of pettiness or unsportsmanlike conduct toward a teammate (especially this one), you end up making yourself look bad, and then it’s (still) no help for you! But you know all of this already, which is why we’re here.

So here is my advice. Forget about the fact that the other administrative assistant is a waste of space. You and I aren’t going to eliminate nepotism, and we aren’t even going to fix this one case of it. If she’s been gumming up the works for this long, she’s not going to start working harder, and your management is not going to start pushing her harder. Sorry.

So let that go, and let’s focus on what’s most important: You.

You have a big bucket of work and no one is helping you. It’s time to go back to the well and ask for help again. Now I don’t know exactly what kind of work we are talking about here, but generally when there is too much work, you have a choice of in how to handle it. You can either kill yourself to do it all (I think you’ve been trying to do that), get more resources to help you (your manager tried that), or prioritize it and let some of it go.

So with that in mind, I suggest you first set some boundaries for yourself. You are obviously a conscientious person with a strong desire to do a good job and succeed in your work. Remember that you won’t be able to do that if you burn yourself out. Think about what is reasonable to expect of yourself, and determine what work is most important from your perspective. Come up with a proposal of how you might prioritize it based on that.

This doesn’t have to be the end of it. In other words, I’m not suggesting that you will just tell your manager, “sorry, but I’m only doing half of the work you’ve given me,” and expect it to be well-received. However, it’s a starting point for the conversation that will not only illustrate the problem in practical terms to your manager, but also demonstrate that you are taking some leadership in finding a solution. Your manager might not accept that any of the work is less important, but if you can rationally demonstrate that it cannot all be done by just you, and his prior solution is not working, it will elevate the importance of the problem.

Now, armed with that, you can approach the issue of getting yourself some better help. I know: I told you to let the goldbricking ways of your coworker go. Still the case. You still need to remove the emotion, the opinion, and the judgment from the situation as you present it. However you must still focus on the result. Don’t let that go. That’s the key.
The important thing to remember is that your manager thinks that he solved your problem by pointing you in the direction of this well-positioned online shopper, but it didn’t work. He needs to know that he still owes you some support.

Now let’s put it all together. I see the conversation with your boss going something like this:
1. State the problem:
“I’m still having trouble getting through all of the work”

2. Illustrate the impact, taking ownership and showing you care:
“There are not enough hours in the day to get it all done so I’m concerned that the quality of my work will slip and I will not be able to deliver. I do not want to let the company down.”

3.    Address the past solution, being careful to state only facts and leave out your judgment and observations:
“I know you told me that I should share some of the work with Tiffany ( Ashley? Brittany? Am I close?), but that hasn’t been working out. She has told me that she doesn’t have time to help me because she is too busy.”

4.    Propose a solution (within your own means):
“If we cannot get someone else to help, then I would like to restructure my work so I can focus on the top priorities. This will mean that X, Y, and Z will have to wait until we can get someone else to cover them.”

5.    Ask if there is anything else that your manager can do within his means, but with a twist:
“If there are other resources available, I would still love to get help, but since these other people don’t work for me, it would be helpful if we could identify specific things they will be responsible for and the message could come from you (management) to them.”

Notice that with this approach you aren’t making a judgment on how busy the other employee is or isn’t, but have only presented the fact that she told you that she is. Also, with the last point above, you are separating the owner’s daughter from the situation by talking about the help you get in terms of “other people”. Now your manager might read between the lines, depending upon how well known it is that this gal likes to loaf. That’s still ok because you have insulated yourself by approaching it tactfully and professionally.

The other important thing here is that you are making it a point to ask your boss to be more directive with the person who is helping you. I think that’s been a big part of the problem all along. If the person helping you is not beholden to you in any way, then you must rely entirely on his or her work ethic and desire to help you. Obviously if you get the wrong person, that’s not going to fly. So above all else, I recommend you push on that point. If your manager does not accept an option where all of the work doesn’t get done, you need to push to make sure he continues to help you get what you need without leaving it to you to sort out the additional resources.

Remember that in order for your manager to succeed, you need to succeed. You need his help in making you successful. If you can help him to focus on how he can best help you, you should both be in a better position to get through this stressful time.

I hope that helps.

~~ Don Draper

Don Draper is the Finishing School's resident manager, on-call for your sticky situations and management input on all topics. Write Don in care of bwfinishingschool@gmail.com

20 Questions for Academics

2010-07-24T09:34:00.002-04:00

Since our relaunch last fall, the Finishing School has enjoyed broadening our student body beyond the gray fabric walls of the cubicle. Just when we think we know what we are experts on, you remind me that the workplace is not, in fact, universal.
Some of our contributing faculty are, in real-life, faculty. Miss Bender sighs wistfully at them from across the staff room, wondering if she made a wrong turn at Albuquerque. (Waltham, it actually was).

Listen in on the first of what we hope will be many “So You Want to Be A….” installments. As long as the market is down, why not shop around? (And make our Miss Bender feel less like she begged for private therapy?)

Meet Cathie and Robin, colleagues at “a comprehensive regional university offering a rich, student-focused learning environment with an enrollment of approximately 4,300 undergraduate and more than 2,000 graduate students.” We cornered them and their chosen professions for a round of 20 Questions, then we made it look like they were together. That’s how we do in Virtual Academia – but we don’t lie to you about it.

CB: How long have you been in your current field?
Cathie: It depends on what you mean by my current field.
Robin: About 10 years as an English professor.
Cathie: I have been at my current employer for 13 years and then was in graduate school, preparing for my current field, for 5 years before that.

CB: Have you ever worked in the “traditional office” environment so familiar to Miss Bender – the corporate cubicle, 9-5, and all that comes with that?
Robin: Not really. Though I have had regular jobs since I was 15, never very cubicle-oriented.
Cathie: I worked as a software developer/manager for 5 years and then as a grant writer for 2 years.

CB: Anything you miss about it?
Cathie: Not really. I loved the problem-solving aspect of developing software and the feeling of accomplishment that I got when I finished some task. But that doesn't really have anything to do with a cubicle environment. I sometimes miss software development but I do some for myself now. But I don't always have projects in mind to work on and other responsibilities often get in the way of focusing on a software project.

CB: Are there aspects of that environment that would benefit Academe?
Cathie: The sense of having to get things done on more than an individual level. In academia, we can be pretty slow to change things that need to be changed.

Robin: I think it's good to appreciate and try different kinds of work, so you can be sure you end up doing something suitable to you.

CB: Most of our contributors work in those sorts of office cultures, and may think the grass is greener on the other side of your fence. Is it?
Robin: Well, yes.
CB: Ok, maybe I mean me.
Cathie: I love the flexibility of my side of the fence although I think I work harder mentally now than I ever did on the other side. And it's sometimes difficult to do things and not see immediate tangible results. That happens a lot with education, because students don't always see the benefit of what we do immediately. But it is very satisfying when they come back after graduation to talk about how important what we've taught them was.

CB: I have to admit I often draw on that from my own tour of academia – I remember that sometimes you don’t see the results for years. Sometimes you never do, but it doesn’t mean there weren’t results.

CB: I think there are certain aspects of the campus culture that The Suits never understand if they haven’t lived it. I remember that when I was in student affairs, I would tell stories about my students’ problems, or issues we were dealing with, like “cultural sensitivity” or administrative politics, and my corporate friends would answer with “you can’t just fire them?”
Cathie: I think outsiders (including the students) don't understand how much time we think about and talk about individual students, trying to figure them out, trying to figure out how to present information to them in a way that they can succeed, that will motivate them. I know a lot about my colleagues' students even when I don't personally know the students themselves because we talk about them all the time. So it's very surprising to me when I ask an advisee what the name of their math professor is and they don't know. We definitely think about them more than they think about us.

Robin: I think it's true that we have more time off than in other fields. But on the other hand, there is actually NO time off. Like zero. I have gone to weddings with bags of papers to grade. I have been on vacation with piles of books that I had to read (even if I detested them). I have spent most evenings at home working on student papers, and most summers madly catching up with my own scholarship. We have a lot of autonomy and a lot of flexibility, and yes, even a lot of free time. But in other ways, we never, ever enjoy the feeling of having nothing work-related to do.

CB: Did you have any idea how immersive it was going to be? What kind of fantasy about your profession did you have going in, that your reality has disproven?
Robin: That there would be time to sit around with other smart people and ruminate. Not much ruminating amongst the busy-work. Students and faculty alike are pretty maxed out at my university in terms of workload and time, so there isn't a lot of sherry-drinking, pipe-smoking, and pondering.
Cathie: [I thought] I would work less than when I was in software development or grant writing. That I would have summers "off".

CB: Do you ever think about leaving the field for “the big money”? What keeps you from doing it?
Robin: Sure I do. I can't do anything that qualifies me for big money. [Ha ha] Mainly, I love my job.

CB: I often say I should have learned a practical trade.
Cathie: I was making the "big money" as a software developer and it didn't make me happy. I make a decent living now--I don't need more money.

CB: What does it mean to know you have a “job for life.”
Cathie: This is a difficult one for me because in every job that I've had, I never really thought I would lose it except through layoffs. We in the education field, even with tenure, are not immune to layoffs. The university could close completely or shut down my department and tenure would not help me keep my job. Even before I had tenure, I felt that I would not lose my job (even when I spoke my mind) unless something drastic happened.
Robin: I prefer to think that I only have my job as long as I am good at it. The other way of thinking is a slippery slope to hell.

CB: How do you keep it fresh and interesting?
Robin: Well, the students help with that, since they turn over every year, and they truly are unique from person to person and from generation to generation. Also, I like to stay current with scholarship, since all fields are constantly evolving. I think if you do this job well, you really wouldn't have the same year twice.
Cathie: My previous discipline, computer science, is constantly changing and so I was always doing something new, not always by choice. I have recently changed disciplines, to digital media studies, and so I'm still learning, still becoming acclimated to the new field.

CB: When you counsel students entering your field, what advice do you offer?
Cathie: Be passionate about being creative and hardworking. If you like to work hard and think hard about ideas, you could do well. But with the field as tight as it is these days, if you aren't self-motivated and diligent, you probably won't make it. Also, you really have to love teaching and sharing ideas. Really. Love. It. Teaching isn't what you do to support your scholarship; that kind of thinking would lead to misery. For most of us in the Humanities, teaching is what you do a lot of the time, and you have to want to be there, and think of it as an asset to your own scholarly development.
Robin: Communication and media studies (my new discipline) is valuable no matter what they decide to do when they graduate. So I suggest that they try to create a curriculum for themselves that will expose them to the things they think they are interested in. And I suggest they do an internship (at least one--some of them do several).

CB: The rest of the world is jealous of Sabbatical. Why do you think this hasn’t caught on in the rest of the work world?
Robin: Maybe they aren't as smart as us. But seriously, folks. ..

Cathie: Great question.
Robin: Sabbatical is something I always thought of as an enormous privilege-- maybe even an elitist privilege... But now that I have had one, I realize that it would be good for just about anyone in any field, and would probably yield greater productivity, retention, etc. for most employers. Could even be cost-effective in the long run. Someone should do a study. But not me. I am still on sabbatical.
Cathie: It is so valuable for rejuvenating people and helping them become more productive when they come back from sabbatical. I think, however, that most people think sabbatical means you don't do any work. That's not true. Instead, it is a time when, freed from the normal teaching and service duties, a person has time to work on some sustained project, usually scholarly in nature.

CB: Is that why it has survived in academia?
Cathie: Yes, because good work comes out of them.
Robin: Sabbaticals actually work-- they produce good scholarship, better teaching, prestige (and admissions) for the universities. But I wouldn't be surprised if they start abating as the economy declines and the right wing gets more snippy about the intellectual elitism (or intellectual growth) of the country. I know tenure is under fire now; I am sure sabbaticals will be on the firing line soon.

CB: Describe a good day on the job. I’ll close my eyes….
Robin: A balance of collegial discussion about pedagogy, teaching a class on a stimulating topic, working on my own research, and leaving with enough time left to spend social time with family and friends.
Cathie: A good day is when I have a class planned that I'm excited about and it works--the students understand and are excited about the material. A good day is when I have no committee meetings but can find some time to do a bit of scholarship, some task on whatever current project I'm working on.

CB: Now be fair – describe a bad day
Robin: Rushing. Being unprepared for class. No time to get to my own work. 50 student papers to grade by the next day. Rushing home for fast dinner, then grading all night while my daughter plays alone with her stuffed animals. Oh, and also, a student walks out of my Feminism class because he says I make him want to throw up.
Cathie: Classes don't go well for whatever reason. Many committee meetings on committees whose work is vague, unclear and unproductive. And I have lots of grading so I spend my free moments doing that rather than something I like.

CB: When you imagine yourself in a completely different professional field, what do you think is most likely?
Cathie: I would be a star on Broadway. Just kidding. Software development again. I gotz skills.
Robin: Gynecologist.

CB: When do these kind of thoughts occur to you?
Robin: When I occasionally feel that my work is too abstract, I wish I were involved in a more grassroots career, that would have a clearer and more immediate impact on the quality of life for people who have been disenfranchised.
Cathie: They don't actually. I'm very happy in academia, even on the bad days.

CB: Another question that is probably more about me…. Do your parents still send you clippings and classifieds, under the impression that you are “still looking?”
Cathie: No--they don't really understand what I do but they didn't when I was a software developer either.
Robin: No, they finally stopped. But they are fond of telling people that their daughter "is a doctor, but not a real one." Shoot. Is this why I just answered that I wish I were a real doctor? Ugh.

CB: Care to share a favorite fantasy about a personal win in your profession?
Cathie: Interesting question. I guess I have two. One is that there is an issue before the faculty that I feel strongly about. I stand up in a faculty meeting and, using my powers of persuasion, I convince the hostile crowd of the wisdom of my opinion. The second is that I write an academic book that captures popular attention. Appearances on Diane Rehm and Charlie Rose follow.
Robin: I have realized that more accolades lead to more responsibility which ironically leads to increased criticism. Also true: success --> failure.

CB: Is that the name of your still-to-be-written memoirs?
Robin: Memoirs. (Ha ha ha) And no, THAT is not the title.
Cathie: How do you know they are still-to-be-written?

CB: There were only 19 questions – does that bother you?
Robin: The fact that you are a liar is, I will admit, irksome.
Cathie: No, but only because you've asked this question which makes it 20.

Another Satisfied Candidate

2010-07-14T20:59:00.000-04:00

Guest Lecturer Marie Hills reflects on 13 months on the unemployment rolls.

I was laid off in May 2009 so I took advantage of having a summer off. In retrospect, if I knew how long it was going to take to find a job I would have started right away. After 3 months, I got started – nearly a year since the last time I had looked for work.

I looked for organizations that were financially viable/healthy. Before I applied for a position, I researched the organization’s financials. I also sent out emails to friends and former colleagues to see if anyone had contacts at certain organizations. By using a contact name, I was able to personalize my cover letters. I felt like this search was more about who I knew vs. what I knew. Having an “in” was a key at having your resume looked at even if it didn’t lead to an interview.

Some people recommended that I “dumb down” my resume. I’m extremely proud of the positions I’ve held and the things I’ve accomplished professionally. Dumbing down my resume felt like I was selling myself short – it was an injustice to my accomplishments.

During my numerous phone interviews I heard two things:
1) you’re a fundraiser; and
2) I don’t think we can afford you.

I did not want to go back into fundraising. I did it for years and it took me awhile to get out of that area. There were numerous positions that I saw and liked, but the minute it mentioned fundraising it was added to the NO pile. The only way I would have gone back into fundraising is if my unemployment benefits ran out and I had no choice.

I was willing to take a pay cut from my last job, but I refused to go below a certain level. Believe it or not, over the last 15+ years, I have taken 3 pay cuts to work at organizations that I wanted to work at. The last two pay cuts were worth it. We’ll see about this one. For me it’s all about where I am, not about how much I make.
This job market requires “Reflexiablity.” There has to be a give and take relationship between job responsibilities and salary requirements.

Of course, I had to make some concessions at home as well.

a) During the winter, I kept my heat down so the bill wouldn’t be too high. I wore a lot of layers to keep warm.
b) I took advantage of my gym’s “hardship” membership. (Was able to get a reduced rate when I showed unemployment paperwork.)
c) Purchased as many sale items at the grocery store as possible.
d) Told my family not to get me holiday/birthday presents because I couldn’t afford to give a present in return.
e) Only purchased clothing when needed.
f) Limited the number of times I went out with friends and where we went.

As summer came back around again, I was prepared to cut deeper – to cancel my gym membership when my “hardship” membership has expired. Using the AC only at night during the summer or only when necessary.

Two things surprised me the most :
1) the number of people applying for one position and
2) that it took me as long as it did to find a job.

I had a phone interview with one organization that told me I was 1 of 300+ applicants. The organization was speaking with 24 applicants via phone and then planned on bringing 5 or 6 people in for in-person interviews. Being 1 of 24 made me feel like I accomplished something even if I didn’t get an in-person interview.

I even looked out-of-state, focusing my search on 4 geographic locations. I got a call for a phone interview from an organization in New York City. Oddly enough, the interviewer was a friend of a friend. The interviewer wanted me to meet with staff in the area office vs. a visit to NYC. The following week I received an email from HR saying," thank you for applying, but we decided to go in a different direction." I emailed the interviewer with this news and never heard back.

Even if employers are overwhelmed with applicants, I think they should still get back to applicants that they have spoken with on the phone. (I did hear back via email from 2 phone interviews that they hired someone else. These are organizations that I will look at the next time I interview.)

After 10 months of searching I made it to one (One!) on-site interview. This was after several phone interviews – some of which said I would be contacted to schedule an in-person interview, but nothing ever happened. These places also ignored follow-up emails.

Truthfully, I had no other choice but to keep going. I found a job because I feared I would become homeless. I know that sounds dramatic. I was able to survive on unemployment by watching how I spent my money, but I knew my benefits would eventually run out. I was smart enough to have several months of savings. I don’t own a home so I didn’t have to worry about foreclosure. If I had no benefits and ran through my savings, my options of where to go were very slim. My family lives out of state and doesn’t have the space for another full-time adult. I’m too proud to ask friends for help. (Trust me when I say, at this point, I would have gotten several part-time jobs to survive.)

But in the end, I was able to re-connect with old friends through the found time and the drive to network. I also had the time to evaluate what I wanted in life. I wasn't even planning on applying for this job until a friend mentioned it. I think people need to listen to friends and take advantage of their intuition. It paid off for me.

From the Deans' Office

2010-07-11T11:44:00.001-04:00

(2 deans; 1 office. Know your apostrophe rules…)

Greetings to our loyal student body. This is Caroline Bender, your Dean of Admissions, providing an apologetic update for our absence. Academics do tend to break for the summer, but we might have told you we were going to.

We might have been more transparent about what is going on here on campus, to assure you we haven’t left forever.

You recall that Miss Bender joined the ranks of the Unemployed in October of last year, and this provided a lot of time and content material to give to you. What it didn’t provide is payroll, so she took the first opportunity offered and returned to the cubicle.

This has also provided a lot of material, but it takes me time to think through these things before they become public topics; and time, while plentiful, is not generous. This commute calls for a little dictation software and an iPhone.

Meanwhile, Miss Minchin was fighting her own Battle of Fallujah and working on an escape clause, even if she didn't realize it at the time. Just a few weeks ago, our Dean of Students began a new role, summer began, and we have been giving the curriculum a break.

We expected you were too -- with kids at home, summer holidays, vacation spending, home projects, perhaps still job hunting....

Our congratulations to both Ian and Pilar, who completed their unemployment stint at last, and to the government for their continued extensions. We want you to understand it is very tough out there -- still. The "job creation numbers" you have been hearing about were a quarter of a million census jobs that have now ended. Those jobs no longer exist and that workforce is out of work again. Scattershot layoffs are still occuring in our workplaces, particularly in sales teams where numbers are everything and if you do not make the cut, you walk off the field.

Then comes the adjustment period -- the "feeling new." I've been wanting to write about this since March, and now Minchin is in the same boat. As you might expect, it is difficult for a couple of schoolmarms such as we are to both make the adjustment and reflect on it, much less sound wise while doing it. So bear with us. In the meantime, of course, YOUR wisdom is always welcome. When was the last time you were new at anything on the job? Was it ever the role, the company, and the industry all at the same time?

It's a wonder I get out of bed at all, but if I don't there is all kinds of traffic to sit in. And it made me understand what you mean by feeling there is no space for writing the blog-length essay on the things so much on your mind.

Our readers' survey was clear on the kinds of things you would like to read more about, and it is NEW ideas. NEW approaches to the problems we know so well, and that means much more creative thinking from our entire community. Now we are in the full stretch of summer and I have a few hours today to put out some personal calls for content.

As we search for the New, we are also taking a new approach to requesting your content. We have had much success with our 20 questions approach -- where I provide a questionnaire as a form of interview and you feel more like you are emailing than writing. So I encourage you, when you receive your personalized questionnaire during your regular FB/email time, that you give a holla back. I'll do all the rest.

If you are a traditionalist essay-writer and would like to drive your own content.... well, then where the heck have you been? We need you. Please also post your local networking events on our Facebook page for the benefit of others.

Thanks for staying with us. With your help, we can get the fall semester started.

related posts from our contributors
Commuting: Good, Bad..Ugly
Creative Commuting
Ian's Job Hunt Story

You’re Just Not That Into Me (the introvert’s guide to attending a conference)

2010-06-03T09:26:00.000-04:00

Guest Blogger, Lisa Petrilli, C-Level Strategies & Awakenings

The faculty and staff of BWFS&SC welcome to the blogosphere Lisa Petrilli and her site, newly launched and already generating volumes of commentary and an envious amount of Twitter Traffic. Lisa kindly gave permission to reprint the article below. See its original form and the comments it generated here.
We are adding C-Level Strategies to our blogroll, and look forward to a shared student body.

Mack Collier wrote an exceptional post last week called, “The Introvert’s Guide to Speaking.” As both a speaker and an introvert myself, I found the post very relatable and was touched by Mack’s raw candor in regard to his speaking fears.

There is another fear that most introverts (and many extroverts) have when attending a conference or networking event that I’d like to address; the fear that no one will want to talk to us. You know what I’m talking about, right?

To be honest, I used to avoid networking events if I was not absolutely sure that someone I knew would be there – someone for me to “hang out with.” This was a real detriment to my career as it drastically limited my exposure to executives outside of my little “bubble,” and prevented me from making wonderful new business connections.

Here’s what I dreaded: the moment when you walk into a room and you search the faces of people who are there, looking for someone who seems interested and willing to talk with you. And what I always got back (in reality, what I thought I was getting back) was the professional version of “I’m just not that into you…”

It played in my head as, “these execs don’t think I’m at a high enough level to be interesting,” “they are not interested in my connections,” “they don’t see any value in getting to know me…”

All of this changed for me the day I was hired by Andy Whitman to work with MENG, the Marketing Executives Networking Group. When you’re consulting for a company with the word “networking” in its name you’d better know a thing or two about it! Working with Andy was a tremendous blessing because he is an extraordinary networker and I was able to watch and learn from the best.

What did I learn from Andy Whitman that all introverts should know?

1. Virtually everyone – executives, assistants, musicians, introverts, extroverts, you name it - is uncomfortable to various degrees at networking events and conferences because it forces us as humans to go outside our comfort zone. Thus, I was not alone.

2. Many people have a hard time being the one to extend themselves and have that same “they’re just not into me” tape playing in their head.

3. If I extended myself – made the first effort to extend my hand, introduce myself and offer a very genuine smile, 90% of the time I was actually helping the other person out immeasurably! I was putting others at ease.

4. When I learned to enthusiastically make that first, warm, genuine introduction of myself, what I received back was invariably a warm, genuine “it’s so nice to meet you” in response! It was like magic I had never known about…no one had actually been sending me an “I’m not into you” signal – it was all in my head!

A few weeks ago I had the great fortune of attending SOBCon 2010 – a small conference made up of some of the greatest minds in social media, many well-known social media “celebs” included. I was admittedly quite nervous about attending but I extended myself on every occasion possible and you know what? I discovered that many of the social media ”celebs” are actually quite shy themselves!

Instead of just assuming that “they weren’t into me” because I wasn’t a celeb, I introduced myself and received back such warm and often enthusiastic responses, that it was clear they appreciated my effort.

So, my dear introverted friends, the next time you are invited to a networking event or you go to a conference:
1. Go - don’t back down and make an excuse not to go, you’ll miss out on the opportunity to meet amazing people who could become great collaborators or even friends. Take advantage of all the networking opportunities that the event or conference offers you.

2. Walk in the room with a genuine, warm smile.

3. Extend your hand, smile, and say “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met, I’m so and so, it’s so nice to meet you” and see what unfolds for you!

Wishing you exciting new experiences! Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments - I’d love to know if any of you have had similar experiences and how you’ve handled them!

Reader Feedback Survey

2010-05-18T21:59:00.001-04:00

or... where we've been.

Many thanks for completing our survey -- as we hoped, we learned a lot.
We saw a nice participation from our Facebook page, and this was also as we had hoped. We claim 128 fans right now (in the new FB parlance, people who like us) but because you are not very active on the page itself, Facebook's metrics are not offering us much, except how much they would like us to advertise to you. 50% of you had been directed to the Finishing School by either Minchin or Bender, but we do not know you all, and we find that exciting and encouraging. It means that our original readers and contributors have spread the word and they told two friends....

40% of those who answered our survey are Facebook fans, some of whom may also fall into the 40% who have contributed to the Finishing School. Now you we know. Or sort of know, as we have new-found co-blog-eration since our summer relaunch.

Enthusiastic Hello to the reader who found us through an Internet search AND stuck around to take our survey. You humble us, friend, and we hope you contribute soon.

When we asked what you would like to see more of, as a group (did you meet without us?) you asked for 2 items above all else:

You want to see more humor, and you are looking for new ideas from this space.

We found this so intimidating, we declared Finishing School Summer Hours and went into hiding.

We do try to amuse. We understand there is enough dreary in the workplace, and we are glad to give you a break from that. New Ideas?? We love 'em. We hope you have some, too.

Here's one that came over the transom today:

The Time Is Money meeting calculator by Bring TIM.com.
"Simply enter the number of people in the room, ballpark an average hourly wage, and press the illuminated start button. Everyone will be amazed as the dollars pile up with every second that ticks by. Bring TIM!® is the ultimate conversation piece and gift idea for anyone that attends long business meetings. Doubles as an office clock. Money back guarantee if you are not delighted! "

your turn.

The Readers Speak

2010-04-24T20:21:00.002-04:00

Greetings from the Deans' Offices -
Thanks for your continued support and subscription. Over the past 6 months, we have made significant changes to the website -- from its format and content, to its contributing writers and regular features.
The more we learn about you, our readers, the better we can provide the kind of material you are looking for. Please take a few moments to complete our Reader's Survey at the link below. Your feedback is very important to us.
Many thanks,
Caroline Bender & Miss Minchin
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/5DHMLYS

(book review) The Complete Guide to the Gap Year

2010-04-17T20:45:00.001-04:00

Instructor, Caroline Bender

It is Spring in the hearts and minds of high school graduates and their parents everywhere. In many homes, the arrival of the daily mail is a reason for gathering – sorting the fat envelopes from the skinny ones. It is a bleak job market these new grads face. Sadly, college may not be an immediate option for some of them, whose family future planning has been altered by unforeseen financial hardships.

The Class of 2010 may turn to the Gap Year in higher numbers than we have seen since draft deferments put working post-adolescence out of fashion. For those considering time off between High School and College (or wondering if the investment of college will yield any higher rewards than not-college in the high-tech information/service sector age), The Finishing School recommends Kristen M White’s The Complete Guide to the Gap Year.

There are many such volumes produced every few years. (You will see another 2009 guide in our book carousel at right). As you might expect, reference like this are difficult to keep up to date, so you want to be sure you are selecing as current a version as you can before you call WorldCom about their entree level rotation program. White's volume is about 40% directory, and a wide-range of opportunities it is, too -- including international service organizations, adventure-based leadership experiences, sports, academic, environmental, and language study.

The opening section breaks down the Gap Year decision and how to make it, establishing first and formost that is is not a vacation. The Obama Administration's encouragement of a Service Year for all Americans has created new opportunities and highlighted long-standing ones such as AmeriCorps and the NCCC. White writes that the Obama Administration "will also offer a $4000 tax credit in exchange for one hundred hours of public service per year, which will put the volunteer gap year within reach for many, many more students." (p 19) The American Opportunity Tax Credit is part of the ARRA ("the stimulus"), and you can find out more here.

This book is written for serious-minded young people, and assumes a level of commitment and maturity of its reader. Compared to the typical high school textbook, The Complete Guide seems almost dull, as if the author expects the student might only be reading one idea at a time! Do not expect a lot of worksheets, assessments, CD-ROM companion videos or keywords in margin notes. In fact, don't expect photographs and illustrations -- there are a few sidebars and one "ask yourself" box, but generally, this is straight information, delivered plainly. Parents may wish to work through this with their student if s/he is not one to sit still for a 19-page opening chapter with only one "personal profile box."

You'll want to jump first to the Chapter Financing Your Gap Year for a breakdown of programs that are acually Free, Low-Cost, or federally assisted, and to learn more about scholarships, loans and grants for gap year experiences, support for sibling overlap (if your gap eventually puts you and your brother in college at the same time, for example), an understanding of the tax deduction, and suggestions on extended health insurance. With the financial fears addressed, you will be more open to the rest of White's message.

Most importantly, she explores the benefits of a year's experience -- a bridge or foundation year more than something to fill "a gap." This is a real life-skill and career building option for today's graduate, which should not be dismissed as frivilous or unaffordable.

The Kumbaya File

2010-04-16T09:08:00.001-04:00

Instructor, Caroline Bender
Like many things I learned in the world of work,I learned this practice in the trenches with my foxhole buddy Jay. I was reminded of it today, when one of our favorite trench writers Pam Slim, of Escape from Cubicle Nation, guest posted on Gapingvoid.com an essay called "you, less than." That is a lot of blogrolling. Let me get to my point. There is a lot more to click below.

In the course of your work life, you will encounter many stumbles where you may question your competence, your worthiness, the gifts and skills you came in with. Sometimes this will go on for years -- but most of the time it is a momentary hiccup that left unmanaged could bring you to your knees. Sometimes, your self-doubt is correct -- you really do need to kick it in gear and rediscover that other version of you lost in the shadows of your stress and "fatalistic attitude."

Prepare for these lean times by setting up your stores in times of plenty. When you are paid a compliment, an especially nice Thank You, or a certificate of achievement, file it away in a place where you can retrieve it when you need that reminder. Every child knows how to start and keep a treasure box, and somewhere along the way we stop doing it. It doesn't mean we stop needing a moment to lie on our beds and sift through those small and seemingly insignificant things that are important to us.

In our youthful management days before electricity, the Kumbaya File was a green Pendaflex, mixed in with all the others that we literally named "Kumbaya." Today, for me, it is an email or desktop folder, though I still call it Kumbaya. Some of the contents are formal and flowery, some are snarky and insidery. Some say hello and some say good-bye. What they have in common is they make me feel good about myself and remind me of the great rewards that come from random acts of professional kindess. Artifacts like these can keep you grounded.

Remember to give as well as receive. End this week by acknowledging one of your co-workers today. Tell them something they do that you admire and ask for nothing in return. And thank God it's Friday.

The Mailroom is Open!

2010-04-13T18:33:00.000-04:00

Letters, letters, we get letters! Ok, we really don't. And we think it is because we didn't have an email address. So NOW.... one more way to contact the Finishing School.

bwfinishingschool@gmail.com

Please continue to

- Use the Comments field (if you are not a spammer. You know we don't mean you)

- Visit our Facebook page (and share us with your Friends)

It's true, we don't Tweet. But when would we post?

Ask a Manager: Managing Up

2010-04-11T09:49:00.001-04:00

Dick Whitman, Manager in Residence

Dear Manager,

"Do you have any tips on how an underling should initiate a conversation with her boss about concerns she has regarding their working relationship? For example, my boss shows up late for meetings I am facilitating, gives me assignments that lead me to believe she thinks I'm her assistant, and she doesn't provide feedback in a timely manner, which slows my progress on projects. I'd like the conversation to be mature and productive, not a laundry list of things that are annoying me. Thanks for your input."

There are a few questions I’d love to ask you before sending you in for that tough conversation. If I had a little more detail, my guidance might be more direct, but ultimately what I’m going to tell you should lead to the same end result. So in preparing to address this situation, I’d suggest you analyze it from two additional points of view.

First, I’d like you to consider your boss’ behavior with others to determine if this is truly an issue with how she sees you or if these problems might be areas in which your boss needs to improve in general. For example, does your boss show up late for everyone’s meetings? This might not be an issue of your boss not respecting you. Maybe your boss has time management challenges, or better yet maybe your boss has had too damn much work piled on her plate and how can they expect her to find enough hours in the day to get through all of these endless back to back meetings!

Sigh. OK better now. Where were we?

I kid. But seriously, I would like you to try to truly understand whether you are being singled out with this behavior because, while it won’t necessarily change the words you use in raising the issue, it will give you some additional perspective as to how much of this issue is within your control.

In thinking this through, it’s ok to ask a few trusted peers for their input, but I would recommend you use your own powers of (objective) observation as much as possible. Going around asking everyone in the group if the boss treats them like an assistant would be “stirring the pot”, and I’ve never been convinced that the input you get from this kind of thing is all that valid. I’ve had people come to me with complaints at times that end with “and everyone else feels that way too” and this always makes me picture the scene by the water cooler where heads are all nodding as the villagers are getting ready to storm the castle.

We managers have enough trouble trying to keep morale up in this economy. I would get kicked out of the managers’ union if this response were viewed as a recommendation to go pot-stirring. You can get more trustworthy results by observing the other meetings you are in with your boss where you are not in the lead, nd her interactions with those who are.

The second bit of perspective to think about is your own interaction with others. Think about past bosses you have had as well as peers and others senior to you in the organization. Is this situation with your boss a new dynamic, or are you having a “here we go again” feeling? This kind of exploration is important before having the conversation with your boss so you can truly understand if this is a pervasive problem that you want to break out of for the good of your long-term career or if this is truly an issue of your boss needing to change her behavior to better support you.

Now if you take all of this above reflection and organize it in your head, you will hopefully have a pretty well-rounded view of the situation and the potential drivers. You won’t necessarily talk about your findings with your boss. They are meant to provide you with perspective to ground you and help you to steer the conversation.

I highly recommend that you stay away from anything that sounds like “we have problems with our relationship”. That risks putting your boss immediately on the defensive, which will cause you to exert a lot of time and emotion in the world of denial. Depending upon your boss’ personality, this can lead to all sorts of reactions ranging from hostility at the notion of her being challenged to a hypersensitive effort to do everything in the opposite way….and probably with that sugary-sweet fakeness that people try when they are called out on bad behavior. You know the one.

Think about the goals that each of you (should) have within the workplace. A boss wants her team to be effective so she will be successful as the leader of that team. A team is made up of individual employees. An employee wants to be effective, treated with respect, and see growth in her career.

I think the best way to lead into the discussion is to talk about where you fit within the group. The issue you are raising should be about your role, your impact, and your ability to be effective. It should be about how you think you are perceived based upon concrete things you have observed, and how you would like your boss to help you to change this perception so you can be more effective within her group for the benefit of both of you.

For example, “I would like to understand how you perceive me in terms of my ability and effectiveness….it is my perception that you might not see me at the same level I see myself and I would like to understand what I need to do to change your perception of me…I would like to contribute at a higher level, as I have expected my job to involve x, but I’m finding myself spending a lot of time doing y…”

You will notice that I putting a heavy burden on you to take the hit for “what you can do” to change the situation. While I do think that you need to be prepared to share in the solution, this is not to suggest that it is all on you. I have just found this approach to be disarming and to help to mitigate some of the natural defensiveness that your boss might feel if coming under what feels like criticism.

Now get ready. Your boss might tell you that your perception of how she views you is actually not correct from her perspective.
work and you don’t need it.

She might tell you that she gives you the tasks that make you feel like her assistant because she trusts you more than others to help her more directly.
She might say that she shows up late for your meeting because she trusts you to run the show (or she might throw out some whiny excuses about her workload being too high).
She might tell you that she doesn’t give you a lot of feedback because she’s just happy with your work and you don't need it.

If the conversation goes in this direction, it is important to emphasize what you need from your boss to be effective. You can accept and appreciate this new perspective from her, but stick to your guns with regard to your needs. Tell her that you would like to have her support in your meetings and that you want to get feedback so you can continue to improve.

Tell her that you want to have challenging assignments and you would like to have the opportunity to contribute at a higher level than you do now. From there, you will probably need to let that percolate a bit, but I am hopeful that over time you will see some changes stemming from the fact that you raised her awareness.

Workplace Dangers: Idea Stealers

2010-04-08T20:33:00.000-04:00

Recently, one of our students asked, "Could you write about how women should handle a fellow coworker, in a higher position, completely poaching a project after most of the hard work is done? That would be really useful. I think women are almost TOO good at making thier coworkers look good- which sometimes gets them in trouble."

This gave us the opportunity to reprint one of our earliest postings, from 2005, when our institution was founded. We invite the student body into conversation about whether this advice should be altered when the Idea Stealer is a higher-up.

Freshman Seminar with Miss Minchin - Session 2

It's happened to nearly everyone. You pitch an idea to your boss, or share a thought with your colleague and next thing you know that other person is taking credit for it as their own. What does one do in this situation? Well, there are several approaches:

Vigilante approach: Demand justice at high noon. Set out to expose the idea stealer’s traitorous ways, regardless of whether he or she is your boss. Set out on a smear campaign designed to make others see him for the slimy weak thoughtless leech that he is. Be sure to jump up and shout "that was my idea" and offer to "take it outside" when it happens.

Passive-aggressive approach: Secretly fume and imagine the idea stealer being crushed under a giant boulder while you pout in meetings. Give him the cold shoulder. Refuse to meet with him unless he agrees to have your conversations recorded. Then as these guys did, feed him an awful idea that he just can't resist taking credit for, and then sit back and enjoy his demise.

Zen approach: If it's your boss, accept the fact that your job is to make your boss look good. Your boss probably doesn't even realize the idea came from you, but will remember how valuable you are to her success, and will keep you close by; even taking you to the next company she works for. If it's your colleague, remind yourself that you are all part of the same team and be happy for him when he gets promoted over you. Remember that it's accomplishments, not ideas that you list on your resume. Get yourself on the projects you want to work on and contemplate letting go of your attachment to recognition while you practice yoga on your lunch hour.

Direct approach: If a colleague tells you that the boss just congratulated her for suggesting your grand idea, you can march into the boss's office and say "Bernice tells me you really liked my idea! I can't wait to start implementing it." Or as suggested in this excellent article on e-magnify.com, if the idea-stealer makes his move during a meeting, stand up and say 'Thank you, Bernie. I'm so happy to hear that you were listening when I proposed [idea]. I'm looking forward to working together on this project..."

Collaborative approach: As Nigel Nicholson put it, you can feel good about the clear value of your ideas to your boss and your colleagues. Be proactive by scheduling meetings to discuss specific project ideas and document everything. This makes it easier for the boss to remember that the idea came from you. Nicholson also suggests that you give feedback to your boss. Let her know how much you appreciate recognition for your ideas.

You'll see that some approaches work better than others, and a good combination of approaches will likely work best. In any case it is never a bad idea to document everything. At the very least, during your annual review you can remind your boss of the ideas you suggested and how successful the implementation of those ideas has been. Having a timeline to refer to makes this conversation much easier, and reminds you of the value that you know you bring to any job.

Corporate Identify is more than a logo

2010-03-24T23:20:00.000-04:00

Instructor, Mitch McDeere

Aquirion* is a global industry leader experiencing growth and revenue in an otherwise collapsing economy. Stock prices are rising, media coverage is positive, customer loyalty is high. The company job board is bursting, with openings in several high-tech economy states where plenty of candidates are immediately available, thanks to rampant lay-offs of experienced talent.

The Company has briefcases full of cash, with which to buy the small struggling companies who have perforated their own space so raggedly that none of them owns the "wallet share." Aquirion can make the offer their boards of directors can not refuse, and every day the Aquirion family grows.

New arrivals on the Company shores receive their welcome packets and fleece vests in the new company colors. They unpack at their new desks -- some parts improvement and some parts disappointment -- and try to pick up their projects where they left off last week. They have high hopes for life on the Gold Mountain, but of course they never forget The Old Country.

At its worst, the Company never breaks out of its camp mentality. Typically, corporate uniformity will take over as the workforce ages and the hard-liners are weeded out. But the Finishing School understands that Aquirion and its like strive to be greater than the sums of their parts, so we offer some recommendations for both management and staff. We invite our students and readers to continue this dialogue with their comments and strengthen the Aquirions among us.

Less is more with the new logo
No one wants their history "disappeared." Especially when it is a history they helped create. The new colors, name, and logo are an important part of forming your new identity, but try not to wipe old identities off the map. One big ticket item is enough -- the jacket, the laptop bag, the coffee cups on every desk. But just one.

Celebrate your heritage
Why not use some of your corporate art space to frame the old logos, mascots, colors, ad campaigns? Encourage member companies to display their awards, patents, and founders' portraits. Something about these members of the family was worth paying for. Let everyone know.

Allow room for adjustment
This is especially difficult when competitors are suddenly bed-fellows. In corporate life, we put a lot of energy into defining the enemy as the worst thing that could ever happen to our customers and our industry . Be patient while your staff try to unlearn that lesson.

Encourage mingling
Pigeonholing isn't caused by hostility, but it can breed it. Look for cross-functional workteam opportunities for member companies to share talent. An internal apprenticeship program might be a start. Try a Think Tank, consolidated trade show team, interview teams, or R&D projects. Dream outside the "staff council" and "softball team" box, though those work too.

Participate
This means you, acquired staff. When your company puts out the call for representational participation, get in there and mix it up!

Orient new staff to a new company, made up of the rich diversity of its member companies. Teach the history of your new company as part of New Hire indoctrination.

Be open-minded. Not all mergers go swimmingly. Some have been infamous disasters; others came out stronger than they began. What those stories have in common are setting a tone from the outset that all member companies have value and that decisions will be made by, and for, all stakeholders.

ODCT, Organization Development Consulting and Training, of Seattle, WA, offers some Best Practices for achieving "[an] outcome in which there is a high degree of internal commitment to and collaboration in the newly merged organization." Most importantly, they address the tension that will come in any situation where people feel they are giving up control of their personal and business success.

Aquirion can not simply declare a "new chapter" and declare that the past is behind us. They will always be The Other if they choose that route, rather than the profitable umbrella they intend to be.

*Aquirion represents a typical parent company, based on the varied professional experiences of our faculty. Any similarity to a specific company is the result of the mega-merger conglomeration of global business.

Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way

2010-03-18T18:20:00.002-04:00

Instructor, Caroline Bender

Weekend Campus: Simulation Exercise

Goal: Simulate corporate rollouts in a collapsed time frame, using creative role playing and minimal instruction. By the end of the designated time period, each group will have launched their assigned project. There is no prescribed time period for how long the launch itself should take.

Time frame: 8 hours
Once the exercise begins, the groups may set their own schedules of breaks, meals, and work. Group members are not required to adhere to those schedules.

Group Roles:

1. Choose a Facilitator for your group to mediate discussion, track progress, and mitigate risks.

2. Choose a project Sponsor to be responsible for defining project goals such as business needs, customer requirements, market opportunity, and competitive intelligence. Ask that person to sit out of your discussion for 20 minutes out of every 60. The group Facilitator will be responsible for calling the Sponsor back into meetings. The Sponsor may go wherever s/he chooses for those 20 minutes and is not required to be reachable by phone or email.

3. Finally, choose another member of your group to play your Senior Executive. S/He should leave campus entirely.

Forming:
The Facilitator will read the group's objective: "Design a program, product, campaign, or operation." No further detail will be provided.

Choose a name for your organization and distribute labor among yourselves. If desired, switch places with members of other groups in different roles after the project work begins. You need not discuss this with your Facilitator ahead of time.

Determine what your personal area goals would be, keeping in mind that they may conflict with the goals of others. You may choose to care about this.

Storming:
When the Sponsor next joins the group, members will ask the questions which have been raised during your design discussion. The Sponsor will present the name of a program, product, campaign or operation he has thought of during the preceding 20 minutes. The group should alter their plans to suit that name.

The remaining time with the Sponsor may be spent clarifying his/her idea, or arguing about how much time is left in the session.

Norming:
The Facilitator will present a progress report and a review of the plan to this point. Tasks and timelines will be reiterated and small group or individual work may occur. This can be a good time for group members to switch teams. In that event, the Facilitator will re-convene the group and re-establish roles, responsibilities, and goals. The Facilitator is also reminded to watch the time for the next checkpoint with the Sponsor. Outlook can be helpful here.

When the Sponsor next joins the group, repeat the question/clarification process. Ask the Sponsor to provide status on any tasks assigned to her/him while s/he was out of the room.

Performing:
In advance of this step, the instructor will gather all of the Senior Executives into a small meeting room and explain what each group is launching, based entirely on any discussion or buzzwords s/he has managed to overhear during the course of the day. The instructor may misrepresent some items, or assign them to the wrong groups, but the class should not worry too much about this. The instructor should take care to excite each Senior Executives about the initiatives in his/her area. When that has been done sufficiently, the executive group will rejoin the class. Sponsors should only return according to their pre-set schedule.

The Senior Executive will join his/her group. If the Sponsor is also present, the Sponsor will pitch the project. If the Sponsor is not present, the Facilitator will pitch while the Executive asks about the Sponsor.

Transforming
The Executive will use the following formula to determine how to respond to the group's work. Within the formula, the Executive may improvise the details of their response. The desires and requests of the Executive are binding.

IF xxxxx time remains in session, ask the group to.....

90+ minutes.....stigmatize or socialize
60 minutes...prioritize or exercise
30 minutes...monetize or productize
15 minutes...incentive or proselytize
5 minutes... globalise or localise

The first group to complete a full launch of their program, product, campaign or operation before the close of the session will be declared the leading global provider of enterprise solutions and may purchase the other groups.

What lights your fire?

2010-03-16T19:28:00.000-04:00

Miss Minchin, Dean of Students

Things heat up at work
All of a sudden my job got exciting again. I have been working on a project that is pretty interesting but with a sketchy uncommitted delivery date later in the year. Suddenly I learn that this rough date has been pulled in one quarter. There has been a mad scramble for status updates, deliverables, and details. Luckily we have a pretty good handle on all of these, and I realized something about myself - I actually enjoy the occasional fire alarm. I went home that day with an extra spring in my step. I was doing something important, something critical to the success of the company again, and it felt good.

This is when I realized that I need balance between knowing exactly what I'm going to be working on for the forseeable future, and tackling unexpected "hot" issues. I do some of my best work under pressure, as I can procrastinate on things that aren't urgent. And this made me think about where some of my colleagues fall on the scale of tolerance for such things (And so I invented a scale for such things - more on that later).

Fire Alarms vs. Fire Drills
In my current company, "Fire Drills" are common due to delayed decisions (or delayed consensus), shifting priorities or reorganizations. "Fire Drills" differ from "Fire Alarms" in that the fire drill is not a true emergency, and we worker bees pick up the slack knowing the we shouldn't have to be burning the candle at both ends as we push to deliver the work. Or worse, we have killed ourselves and made personal sacrifices to meet impossible deadlines, only to have the organization change direction and put that project on the shelf.

The Fire Alarm, on the other hand, is a legitimate emergency, or a worthwhile endeavor for the good of the company. It is the kind of project you feel good about jumping in to help make a success. You don't mind working the extra hours, and enjoy the comraderie of the team as it pulls together to achieve a common goal.
Too many fire drills can cause burnout and frustration while true fire alarms can be motivating but are hard to come by. And when things are too predictable (no fires of any kind), it can be a little boring.

Smokey the Bear vs. the Fire Fighters
This brings us back to the scale I invented (or reinvented as one probably exists in the DSM IV). I have colleagues who cannot tolerate the unexpected at work. They find it extremely disruptive and frustrating to have shifting priorities and assignments that change midstream. These are the "Smokey the Bear" types, who know that emergencies are usually preventable, and that we should at least build in some flexibility to plan for "the unexpected" when we set schedules.

Then there are the "Fire fighters" who just love to put out fires. They can't tolerate predictablity and really love to jump in and save the day. They also dislike planning and preparing which they find just too boring.

I'd say I fall near the middle, but leaning slightly toward the Fire Fighter end of the spectrum. I like to know what's coming, but enjoy being able to rise to the challenge when the unexpected comes my way. And it's even better if I get to save the day once in a while.

I suppose there's always the "Fire Starter" or "Arsonist" type who just enjoys creating a problem: either to watch from the sidelines as we jump in to put out the fire, or to rush in and look like a hero. But I decided that it threw off the simplicity of my scale and we write about them in this post and another post.

Where do you fall on the scale?

Working the Network Works

2010-03-06T19:54:00.002-05:00

Instructor, Caroline Bender

The trade publications refer to “the hidden job market.” These are the jobs that are not advertised, and in spite of their invisibility, someone estimates that 80% of available jobs are not advertised. It is not entirely clear how that is calculated. What matters to you, the job seeker, is that these jobs are as abundant now as they have ever been. And they are available to you if you understand where to look.

Why is there a hidden job market?

Advertising is still expensive, online or off, and in a 10% (or higher in some regions and industries) unemployment situation, posting an ad opens a floodgate of applications an employer can’t manage because he laid off his recruiting staff in the last go-round. Better to put the word out quietly, in a controlled settling, than to post in so public a forum as a website, newspaper, or trade journal.

Referrals are more reliable – for everyone involved. Even the Navy knows that a buddy system improves retention . The referring employee is endorsing both the company and the candidate, the candidate can get the real skinny on life at the Company, and the Hiring Manager gets a name he can put right to the top of the stack.
Jobs are often created for a specific need, or to suit a specific internal candidate, where insider knowledge is so crucial you wouldn’t want anyone but the person you already have in mind. How often have you said in your own work situation, “I wish we had an Anne to put on this problem,” or “Martin would be at his best if we could find a way to let him analyze data all day long”?
So how does one find this job market if it is invisible?

You’ve got to work your network. Because working your network works.

This is not a paragraph about “social networking,” Tweeting, status updates or YouTube job posting. This is not a strategy for amassing the largest number of names you can in order to hit them up for jobs. This is simply about staying connected with the people you know, and letting them help you achieve your goals.

The people you know are your “lower-case f” friends, your family, your former colleagues and classmates. Social networking sites and tools may make it easy to connect, but not if you are doing it shallowly. If you are doing it well, a beer or a phone call will do. And guess what, Workforce America, it’s not just when the chips are down, either. You’ve got to actually think about other people, and tell them when you do. Help them when they ask, and ask for help when you need it. Roll a few logs and actually build that relationship and you will be surprised at what you can accomplish together.

I have a friend/mentor/former co-worker that I chat with online on occasion, and yes we are networked 4 ways. But we also write notes to each other (stamps, envelopes, and all!) and about once a month we find a way to meet for coffee on a Sunday morning and share ideas. When she broke her ankle, I came by to keep her company; when I lost power during an ice storm, she put me up. And when she heard about a shift in her company that implied an opportunity I might take advantage of, she let me know.

That opportunity stalled in its growth stage. She spread the word about me, and sparked some interest, but the change wasn’t getting off the ground. I soldiered on where I was until 4 months later, when I was laid off from my job.

Enter now a different friend, one I had not heard from in nearly 15 years. For a time, we had been quite close, but her career pursuits took her across country and Life happened to the both of us. I will admit that we reconnected through the new-fangled social networking you are so tired of hearing about, but it was our original old-fashioned friendship that made the reconnection such an ease and a pleasure. When she heard I had been laid off, she asked, “What are you looking for? My company has some new openings…”

And it turned out it was the same company.

These two colleagues, who knew each other so well, who both thought of me as a match for their company, had no idea that they both knew me. Our relationships were so far apart in years and makeup that we were all dumb-founded to learn of this connection. I brushed up the resume again, and I was reintroduced as a candidate. In February, I started working at that company.

Your network will not get you jobs, you know that. Even the friend who directly hires you is not hiring you out of friendship. The stakes are too high for that. They are hiring you for your skills, your style, and the history of success (both personal and professional) you are bringing to that job. You are literally seeing return on your investment.

You don’t have to be friends with everyone you work with; you don’t have to center your personal life around your work. What you do have to do is invest a little of the personal in the professional, and the other way around to be “top of mind” when the subject of great fit and match is on the table.

Give of yourself to the people you know. Notes, emails, phone calls, (a text or a “poke” if that is your vibe), keep the connection alive.

Care about what happens to people you no longer work with, live near, room with, or play with, and find a way to visit with them. Not because it may someday lead to a job, but because you like them. And they are nice to be with.

Promise to check in, and keep that promise. This is where so many of us lose our network. Friendships take time and effort, but in both cases, small quantities suffice. Sitting sidelines at the soccer game, shopping for new shoes, shooting hoops, taking the baby around the block, telling someone you thought of them today.

Strive to be the amazing person your friends think you are. They do, you know. You don’t get it, because frankly they are so amazing with all they manage, that why would they think twice about you? You’re both wrong. You’re both right. Live up to the hype.

Offer to help, to keep company, to watch the kids, to send a care package, to write a letter of reference, to put in a good word.

Accept the same in return. Reciprocity happens when you need it most.

A Job Hunt Story

2010-02-26T09:00:00.002-05:00

Lecturer Ian Parsons files this report after approximately 7 months out of work

About a year and a half ago, I felt burned out on my long commute and the corporate climate at [integration systems company] Oracle so I was hoping to find a start-up or other company closer to home where I could have a bigger impact on the company's success. I had been doing a passive job search while I was still at Oracle which began about a year before I was laid off.

Earlier last year I had thought I had another job lined up (2 months before I was laid off) where the company wanted to hire someone new by around late September. Unfortunately, the VP of Sales who was set to hire me was laid off himself and this put me back at the end of the line when a consulting team came in to hire new reps. In spite of that passive search in the works, I didn't really get searching full tilt until about October (2+ months after I was laid off).

Initially, I made sure I was signed up with updated resumes on every job website that I could find, but also linked up with as many recruiters (in my field) as I could. What I found was that the job boards like Careerbuilder, Monster, DICE, etc. were useless. Most posted jobs were not really available, but were placeholders for companies who wanted to collect resumes. It was my 3-4 recruiters who came up with actual IT sales prospects. I came to rely almost exclusively on recruiters and I would recommend the same for ANYONE looking for a new position.

I was surprised by just how competitive it really is with these job opportunities. Where I was sure that I aced all stages of an interview process and the employer even checked my references, I would lose out to someone with a tiny bit more specific experience than I had (even though I knew they REALLY liked me culturally, etc.). Coming from a huge company like Oracle (one of the toughest companies to succeed at and to stay at) actually hurt me with some of the smaller companies who were more looking for small company experience in spite of Oracle's reputation for lots of training, etc.

The base salaries with some of these companies was lower than what the recruiters and I expected. Companies are taking the chances that candidates will accept less because the economy has been so bad. And this turned out to be true, People with more experience were willing to take a job they were overqualified for at a huge pay cut. I quickly learned that I would probably have to take a large pay cut too -- of between $5K-$10K less per year if I hoped to get past the phone interview stage (OR to even have my recruiter introduce me to the employer).

During my last job search (2006) I was actively working and doing really well. I loved the company I worked for but wanted to make more money and to get more experience in the software space (I was selling IT hardware). At that time, Oracle (among others) was eager to find new talent to hire. I had no problem getting in for interviews and the process moved along pretty well for a huge corporation. Basically, I didn't need to find a job, but I wanted to and I was able to do so even though I was already working.

As this new job search began, I made a lot of the same must-have rules. I was initially NOT going to give into a lower base salary (simply because my family couldn't live on less than I was earning at Oracle), we could NOT relocate because of the value of our house given the bad housing market, and I was NOT going to commute more than 75 miles to any job.

I made it to the on site interview stage with 7 companies in 7 months, and made it past the first on-site interview with 4 of those companies. One of the prospective employers put me through FOUR interview stages including THREE on-site meetings with every executive in the company. The whole process went really well...the CEO even listened to my music online and liked it a lot... Although all of my interviews were completed by before the New Year, they kept telling me that I would need to be patient because it was the first time they were hiring for this position from the outside. I followed up regularly and yet they were still interviewing other candidates. They told me they hoped to have someone hired by the 2nd week of January; however, as of TODAY (February 26th) they still haven't made anyone an offer. I was even approached about the same job by two different recruiters after I'd already completed 4 stages of interviews. This job was at the top of my list from a salary and commute perspective and the waiting was awful. I even had a mutual friend of the CEO talk to him about me one day and he confirmed that I was in strong consideration for the position when they spoke in mid-late January.

The fact that my family needed me to get a job ASAP, and the dedication of my recruiters to find me new opportunities is sometimes all that kept me going. But there were other bright spots too. One of the VP of Sales who didn't hire me even referred me to his good friend with a company that was too far away for me to commute to. I was touched that someone who narrowed his search down to just me and another candidate still took the time to try helping me find a job elsewhere. It was dedication like that which helped me to keep pushing. One recruiter even shared an opportunity that they wouldn't be paid on while others still coached me on opportunities that I had been sent by other recruiters.

We exhausted our 401K plans just to scrape by and pay our mortgage. It was tough to do, but we had no choice.

We were close to cutting out many of our 'creature' comforts, but also to file for bankruptcy due to our huge debt (the result of a bad economy plus not enough commissions from my job at Oracle). We met with a Credit Counseling professional and our budget was way off. Our expenses were more than twice what my unemployment income was. Our session with CCC was a huge help, so we will be trying to budget our money more carefully and hopefully to enjoy the new benefits of this new job where I can coach my kids in T-ball, etc. and we will have more vacation time to work with as well. I learned from this experience the value of quality time with my family.

You have to enjoy your time off as much as possible; it's better to be relaxed when searching for jobs. One of my recruiters cheered me on withevery opportunity including those she didn't place me with.

The position I was finally offered turned out to be BETTER than anything I was aiming for. It was very far off from what I expected to find. There is no commute and the base salary is $11K better than my previous job! We expect to have more flexibility than we had previously.

Some things about the Job Search game have certainly changed. But most of what you know is still true. You have to be yourself and be confident. You have to ask LOTS of questions to show that you're thinking a lot about the company (and they need to be creative questions like "What makes you lose sleep at night in your role?"). Companies are looking for a cultural fit as much as they are experience because they can afford to be that picky. You have to learn about the company and their competition to show that you have more than surface knowledge of the company you're trying to get into.

A VP of Sales at one company (where I was one of two finalists) took the time to debrief with me for 40 minutes and volunteered to stay in touch with me for counsel on other possible jobs since he knows the IT start up marketplace very well. Even though he didn't choose me for his one position, he cared enough to keep helping me because he would have liked to hire me if there were two positions available.

I was asked what I would say to someone I am close to if they were to lose their job. I would want them to immediately post their resumes online (because sometimes that will lead to finding recruiters), to research recruiters and to find as many as possible to help their search. I would encourage them to place realistic expectations on the job options they're willing to take. The important thing is to just get back to work...7 months is far too long to go without a job and even if you have to take a stopgap job until you find the best opportunity, it's better than the anxiety of having nothing because you set your expectations too high. But, the main thing I would say is find RECRUITERS, RECRUITERS, RECRUITERS!!!

Our own Wicked Recruiter also comments frequently on the current job market.

To share your unemployment stories, contact the editorial staff through our comments space. The Finishing School is an advertising partner of Monster.com.

Working from home: A personal cost/benefit analysis

2010-02-23T21:29:00.002-05:00

Our recent discussions of working from home, at-home parenting, and commuting have sparked a lot of commentary. Guest blogger Dichotomom contributes this reflection from her website. Note that this is Summer 2008, when the cost of commuting had become restrictive, particularly in traffic-burdened New England.

The other day I rushed to pick up my sweet, innocent little boy from camp. When I scooped him up in a hug, he scowled and pulled away, “Uh, Mommy, you wore that yesterday. And the day before,” he said, disgusted. “And your hair smells yucky.”
Busted. Such is the life of a work from home mother.

I love working from home. I think it’s just about the best benefit any company can offer, particularly when I think about balancing my work and my life. And now, with gas costing upwards of $4/gallon, more and more people are doing it.

Telecommuting really makes my life work. While I can’t say that working from home is going to save the world, it sure keeps my work/life/work/life roller coaster on track. Plus, it really appeals to my cheap side. Honestly if someone told me I had to come into the office every day, I would ask for a raise. A pretty big raise. The other night my husband and I were tallying the costs of commuting from my lovely suburb 20 miles west of Boston into the city. Now, this was cocktail napkin figuring, but here’s what we came up with:

Keeping son in daycare an extra 1.5 hours/day = $175 more a month
Keeping daughter in daycare an extra 1 hour/day = $50 more a month
Parking = $300 more a month
Gas = $300 more a month
Food/coffee (let’s say I’m really good and bring my lunch half the time) = $150 more a month

Add in clothes, makeup, shoes (all that stuff that I frankly don’t put any effort into right now) and I'm saving about $1,000 a month by not commuting!

HOWEVER, working from home does have some costs, some of which are very high and should be taken into consideration:

It’s freezing cold. Or it's blazing hot. This past winter was one of the coldest, snowiest of record in Boston, and the oil man cameth. So, to save some dough, the heat in my house automatically kicked off at 8 a.m. Thus, I spent most of my day wearing three sweatshirts and blasting a space heater at my feet. And, now that suburban Boston has decided that it wants to become SoFla with humidity at 110% this summer, I'm dealing with the other extreme, with the added bonus of frizzy hair.
My house is a mess. Because I’m here all day, I figure I can throw in the laundry or do the dishes at any time. Except I don’t…
I don’t exercise. In fact, I sit on my bottom for hours at a time. I’m so lazy that I even wheel myself around my little office on my chair.
I munch. Sometimes all day. But, there’s a trade-off: I have to get off my chair to get to the kitchen (I can’t wheel there because there’s a small step).
I look like hell. I only wear jeans and sweatshirts, or shorts and t-shirts. My hair is in a ponytail. My makeup is drying out in a case in the back of the vanity. I don’t shower. Well, not as often as I should (is that too much information?). Seriously, though, at 4:55, five minutes before I’m due to pick up my kids at school, I rush upstairs and do a quick rinse. I hardly ever wash my hair—I don’t have time.
I am a social half-wit …I have tons of “virtual” friends online, but I’ve forgotten how to make small talk in person!
I never turn off the computer--“Just one more check of email” is my mantra.

I know, I know, I’ve got to draw my own boundaries. I have to shut off the computer and walk away. I have to brush my hair. But, I’m so productive! And I’m spending all of my non-work time with my kids! And I respond to all my emails!

So, I have to ask myself if my plummeting self-esteem is a fair tradeoff for the time I get with my family. Right now, while my kids are young, I think it is…at least until they mandate webcams in the next roll-out of laptops.

Survivor's Guilt: Watching the layoffs unfold

2010-02-23T11:26:00.002-05:00

Miss Minchin, Dean of Students

There was no hint that anything was brewing, at least nothing aside from what has become the norm for anyone holding down a corporate job in this economy. It started as a regular Friday, with a full day of meetings and deliverables to complete before losing another two days to the weekend. And then about 9:30 in between conference calls, did I hear that right? Is someone saying good bye? Did he quit? No way, he's got important projects in the works. Wait - he sounds emotional, he wasn't expecting this. I turn around and he invites me over to tell me that he's been told it's his last day. Holy @$&*. I am not going to cry at work. He better not cry because if he does I won't be able to keep it together. This guy has been working just as many evenings and weekends as the rest of us and had his fair share of responsibility. He was likable and a good worker. I can't imagine that he stepped on anyone's toes. I can see that he's stunned and hurt, and we are too. What the heck is going on?

Wait now I see someone at the other end of the office getting a hug and putting on her coat. Now I'm back at my desk, nervous my boss is going to come and tap me on the shoulder. I'm late for my next conference call and as I dial in I wonder if it's in vain. I'm not panicked but feel a sense of dread. What did he just say? Two people on the project are no longer with the company? I didn't make the connection until later. Where are my project managers? They're not responding to IM. Oh I really hope they are not gone today. Everyone is being unusually nice on the call and I'm having trouble focusing.

Oh no, not him too. I see a coworker packing his desk a few cubes away. He's a recent grad, and has done great work for the past year (two years?) and he looks like he might be fighting back tears. I have an email draft half-written to him about some info I owe him. I'm still on the call and I can't say goodbye. I don't think he wants anyone to talk to him.

After my call I get some coffee. I see the manager from the UI team here. She doesn't work on Fridays and she isn't usually in this office. Now I know this is more than just a few people.

A little while later, another coworker comes by to tell me goodbye. He says he feels relieved and it's not too surprising since there aren't any projects pending for his area of expertise. I give him my contact info and wish him good luck. That's 3 people from my team now. I start wondering who's next? Are we all going? I see my boss waiting to escort him out. And I can't help but watch her out of the corner of my eye to see if she changes course and heads my way. I hold my breath when she looks like she is coming toward me but heads another direction.

Well I'll know something by 11. That's when I'm supposed to present in our team meeting. Surely she'd tell me before then and it's 10:30 now.

I'm IMing my neighbor about the layoffs on my team so far. He says he heard there were 17 cut in our Eastern Europe office. He is starting to freak out. I still can't get my project managers on IM.

It's almost 11 and my boss comes over. No she doesn't look like she is about to fire me. She says we'll have the meeting but we won't do our presentations today. She looks like you would expect someone to look like who just had to cut 3 good people from her team.

In our meeting she tells us the cuts to our team are done. That's a relief. We learn there is a large number being cut in our overall organization today. She tells us our leadership has changed again. I'm stunned. It just changed 6 months ago. He was a visionary, an incredibly inspirational leader, and he made me feel privileged to work for him. Not only that but he knew me and my work, and made me feel like a valued part of the team. How could he leave? Why would they make him leave? What is going on?

There's only so much she can tell us since the layoffs are still happening around us. There will be a meeting at 5:00 to discuss as an organization. Now we know the layoffs should be done by then.

Back at our desks I try to be productive but I can't concentrate. Every 20 minutes it seems someone else is packing up. In our office we can see straight down the row from one end of the building to the other. It is almost like being under fire by a sniper, but you can't duck under your desk, and you don't know who the next target will be, and there's no avoiding these bullets.

My calendar has almost completely freed up as all my meetings are getting cancelled. By 2:00 it seems the worst is over. My neighbor and I are almost joking about him being afraid of getting cut, but I'm sure he would have been told by now. I saw his manager having normal project meetings earlier in the day, surely he would have cancelled them and not delay the layoffs. Then his boss called him into a room. I'm certain he's just filling him in on what is happening today, but when he comes back he starts packing his things. I can't believe it, he's such a sharp guy. I've learned a lot just sitting next to him. I can't believe they made him wait until the afternoon when everyone can see layoffs are happening all around us.

Everyone is hyper-alert to movement in the aisles. Anyone putting on a coat is assumed to be leaving for good. But some are just going out for lunch or consolation drinks. I exchange information with a manager I work with. I'm stunned once again by the cuts that have been made. He clearly didn't have a say about the people who were chosen from his team. This confuses me. I ask if I can protest - how could they cut Her? He's just as upset about it. I wonder who made the decisions then, and how did they make them? If they can cut those great people, then why am I still here?

Around 3:30 I get an invitation to attend the 5:00 meeting. In the invite I can see several names have "zzz" before them. Dear God they are already starting with the z's in Outlook? Oh no not her too. She has z's next to her name. I have to talk to her. We started on the same day and she kept me going through some rough patches. I go to her desk and find out it's true, but she's not there. On my way around the office looking for her I run into my boss' boss. We exchange some words about how it's a rough day but I'm distracted. I can't believe they cut my friend too and I want to see her before she leaves. She walks by and I inadvertently cut off my boss' boss to get my friend's attention. I realize later what I did - not good! - but hopefully he understands.

My friend and I talk at my desk for a minute while I write down my contact info. I can see she's keeping it together and I tell her I hope we can be friends outside of work. She starts to cry a little and so of course I do too. I give her a hug and offer to help her carry her things. She cracks a joke that at least she doesn't have to work the release this weekend. She and I quickly compose ourselves, she doesn't need help and we say good bye.

Now I'm trying not to cry at my desk - NO CRYING AT WORK- RIGHT? I know these people are not dying, but it is still a loss. It's a loss for them and for me. I should be able to grieve a little and I just want to go home. We all came in today thinking it was a normal day. They are thinking - why me? Why was I chosen? We're thinking the same thing.You hear bits and pieces about their personal life now: parents to take care of, how many children they have, health issues in the family. I call my husband but can't talk about what's going on and stay together emotionally, so I ask about some errand he was supposed to do. I'm exhausted and drained.

I leave at my usual time and try to dial in to the 5:00 call from the train. I miss most of what is said anyway.
I'm relieved that I made it through the day, but what will keep me through the next round if these great coworkers were taken out this time? Do I want to work under the new leadership? Is my heavy workload just going to get even heavier? I'm grateful that I'm still employed and glad I have a healthy emergency fund. I find out about more co-workers who were cut as I check my email, and I wonder what's in store for us on Monday.

Ask A Manager:

2010-02-22T20:29:00.000-05:00

Dick Whitman, Manager in Residence

Dear Manager,

What should we do when the boss' favorite is the one who slacks off, always makes messes that others have to clean up, or is just plain incompetent? When this person is a pro at charming the boss, and rolling up his/ her sleeves to "save the day" when it was his mess in the first place, how do you address the issue without looking like you're not being a team player?

First let me help you to understand why this might be happening. How can your otherwise competent manager just not see that this guy is a total drain? Well, there’s a little something called a blind spot that we are talking about here. As much as I would like to think it’s not true, we all have them. I’ve seen many quality managers carry dead weight direct reports for long periods of time, and I have to admit I’ve had some situations where I’ve done the same.

This can certainly come about due to the manager’s ego being stroked by the individual in question. A vain manager is prone to flattery so if this employee is what you might call a “suck-up”, then he can certainly gain favor easily. But I don’t think this is the most common cause of this issue. Let’s assume that your manager is a sharper cookie than that. Why then does this still happen? I see two major reasons.

The first is the value of loyalty. Experienced managers learn to live with the fact that many employees generally are in it for themselves. They aren’t always straight with you. Sometimes they can shut down on you when you need them most, and sometimes they just plain up and leave. So when a manager has a history with someone who has been there through the tough times, and who has a string of past contributions under his leadership, it really counts for something. You should realize that this might have happened long before you were around to see it.

In this case, the manager feels some reciprocal loyalty to the employee based on their history together. So while the employee may have excelled in a prior role, he probably does not belong in the current role due to a mismatch of skills. Perhaps because of this past loyalty he has been promoted before he was ready and now he is floundering.

All of this can cause the manager to (consciously or unconsciously) overlook the employee’s inability to meet the needs of the role. I believe you see this scenario more often as you go to higher levels in an organization, because this is where you tend to find leaders with longer professional histories who have brought their loyalists along with them. Unfortunately, this issue is more dangerous at the higher levels because it will generally mean that the employee who is living in the blind spot might be responsible for actually running a large part of the organization.

The second factor that contributes to the blind spot is somewhat similar to the effect of loyalty, only on a smaller scale. It happens when an employee is extremely good at one specific thing. I mean this guy is so damn good at that one thing, and there is no one who has ever been better. Ever. If pressed, even those who can’t stand working with him would admit it. So if this one thing is important to the manager, the employee’s skill in this area will have such a powerful impact as to cloud the fact that he is otherwise a scourge on the organization!

The worst part is that the other employees often do not even recognize the value of that one thing because it is specific to what the manager needs to run things. As such, it is not necessarily apparent to the entire team. This impact of this employee’s benefit to the manager in this one area is amplified if the area itself was a cause for crisis or pain in the manager’s organization until this employee came along to address it. This is a big driver of the loyalty effect that I already outlined.

I call employees like this “10%ers”, as in 10% of what they do is really important and it they do it better than anyone. Unfortunately managers who focus on this 10% can spend a lot of time ignoring the other 90% where the employee is wreaking havoc on the organization.

If you understand the reasons that your manager seems so dense in relation to this one issue, it might help you to address it. Assuming you respect your manager and you have an open relationship with him, you might be able to frame some discussion in a way that does not create undue conflict. This also assumes that the manager wants what is best for his organization, but in my view I think most do.

You should know that generally it takes a manager a long time to resolve these issues, but continuous input from the team on the impact that this employee has is important. Your manager might seem to dismiss it at first, or even become defensive. Sometimes the manager knows very well what the employee’s weaknesses are but he chooses to overlook them for reasons outlined above. In these cases, his defense of the decision to ignore the weaknesses can come across as favoritism. In other words, your boss might know very well that he has a problem, but in trying to protect his employee and stand behind his own past decision, he could outwardly project a defensiveness that manifests itself as favoritism.

So my advice is that you try and see the reasons that this person is still around. Don’t be so quick to assume that your boss doesn’t see the negatives, and don’t assume that this person really is the “favorite”. If you do approach your boss with concerns, make them about the impact that you see to the business. You can’t make it an emotional appeal that sounds like sour grapes. Try to make the feedback balanced, and be ready to accept that your manager might just need to ruminate on it for a while. It might take several attempts, but the message will sink in. This doesn’t’ always mean that the scourge is eradicated, but you quite possibly will see some shifts in responsibilities over time that will neutralize the negative impact.

As difficult as these conversations are, in the grand scheme of things, you will be doing your manager a favor.

A Working Mother's Rant

2010-02-16T09:00:00.002-05:00

Our Guest Blogger writes The Dyer Family, which she describes as a series of "semi-daily diatribes." In this one, she ponders whether raising children should have turned her into the kind of person she has never really been anyway.

I am no good at a stay-at-home mother, and I don't know why....or do I?

Let's back up. I am a working mother. I teach school full time, and I have two very small children who spend their days at day care.
No, it's not the most preferable option, but it's what we've got.

There are times that I hate working - hate every second of it. I hate being busy all the time and living in squalor. I hate missing my children's parties at their school and I hate that I can't join mommy groups or be the room mother or organize play dates. I hate that I see my sixth graders more than I see my own children. I hate racing to the grocery store for a few quick items after my rushed, too-short-to- make-a-difference workout followed by blowing through the day care to grab my kids before they feel completely abandoned. I hate the $1200 check I write to day care each month, and I hate the year-end statement I just received for my taxes.

Even more than that, I hate the stay-at-home moms that you see at Target or Kroger. They all seem to know each other and they are dressed in their standard work-out wear wardrobe that goes with their tight asses, which get that way from the hour a day they get to spend at the gym. They stop in the middle of aisles to talk to each other, smugly not caring whose path they are blocking while their well-behaved children sit quietly in the grocery cart not begging for anything and not attempting an escape. Their teeth look great because they have time to make it to the dentist every 6 months, their hair looks amazing because they have time to make a standing, monthly salon appointment. Their clothes look great because they have time to wash and properly fold them. I hate these women because they do everything I want to do with my days, and they do it better.

Would I spend my days productively if I got to stay at home?

Sometimes, I doubt it. I recently stayed home with my 10 month-old bundle of love while she healed from a double ear infection and double pink eye. I can say that I managed to shower that day, but little else was done. During her morning nap, I was aware of the laundry that needed to be done and the floors that needed to be vacuumed, but once I halfway unloaded the dishwasher, I sat on the bed and blankly stared at morning TV while facebooking and napping. I was hungry and I had to pee for a period of time, but the effort it took to get up and do those things was a little much for me.

Is this who I am? An insufferably lazy mother with zero-to-little housekeeping skills and absolutely no wherewithal to create structure and schedules without the confines of work?

Did we manage to get out that day, my tiny child and I? Yes, we did.
We managed to make a deposit at the bank drive-through, pick up a strawberry limeade at Sonic because Mama was thirsty, then we stopped off at my school so I could use the bathroom and the office ladies could fawn over my baby. Yes, that's right, I had a day off and I spent at least 30 minutes of it at work. I am pathetic.

Ok, so where does this leave me? Do I lack the stay-at-home mom personality trait? Do I have a total inability to create home structures? It's possible.

I do enjoy crappy TV and an unhealthy snack, and I never was good at keeping a gym membership. What made me think I would change into a responsible person when I became a mother? It seems that I have reached an impasse. I cannot change.

Work is what drives me, whether I enjoy the hard work or not, it gets me out of bed and forces me to maintain some sort of structure. No, my house will never be immaculate, no my fridge will never be fully, perfectly stocked, yes my pants will always look a little wrinkled, and yes my kids will learn to hold on tight and enjoy the ride, I might be able to achieve these things with a full time assistant and a monthly supply of ADD medication, but those are not luxuries enjoyed by the working, strapped-for-cash, frantic mother.

Related reading, for fun and otherwise:
I don't Know How She Does It
This is How We Do It
How She Really Does It

Your comments also help a great deal

Faculty Chat: Kindle Reading (product review)

2010-02-14T22:00:00.002-05:00

A discussion arose recently between Guest Blogger/Contributors Webb (From The Garden Bench) and Cathie (The Desert of My Real Life) , with AK, of Atlanta. Caroline Bender moderated.

CB: What attracted you to the Kindle, and what finally made you buy?

AK: I am a "gadget" person and an avid reader, so I had been intrigued with the idea of an electronic way of reading books for a long time. I read a lot of paperback fiction and then I donate the books, so this was a way to read them at a cheaper price and not have to deal with the issues of either finding room for them or getting them somewhere for donation. It is living up to that.

Cathie: I am a voracious reader. A year and a half ago, I took a trip to Spain. I never want to be without reading material on trips like this and so I brought plenty of books with me for this two week visit... I didn't count on my initial flight being delayed. I finished my first book before I even left the first airport. When I arrived in Philadelphia for my first of two plane changes, I was nearly halfway through my second book. Despite the many books in my checked baggage, I bought another book at the Philadelphia airport because I was sure I would finish this second one before I arrived in Barcelona.

Webb: First, I am CHEAP!! Like really cheap.

We bought two Kindles as anniversary gifts to each other and in anticipation of a two-week vacation on a boat - a time where we would not have room enough to take enough books to keep me occupied... Last Sunday I downloaded a 1000-page novel to read on the way home - in anticipation of spending many hours in snowed-in airports. I was not disappointed.

CB: But the Kindle certainly isn't cheap

Cathie: I was concerned about the high price of the device and the still relatively high price of the electronic books that were available... At the time, the device was selling for $359 and the average book in the Kindle store was $9.99, about $5 less than the hardcover editions were selling for at Amazon.

I reconsidered [when] the price of the six inch version of the device had fallen to $259. I read that I could get a subscription to the Boston Globe for the Kindle for $9.99 a month, which is a bargain when you consider a single Sunday edition costs $4.00 up here in NH. So in early December, I made the plunge and purchased my very own Kindle.

CB: So...how's the reading experience?

Webb: Reading is fine, although you do have to "turn the page" (push a button) pretty often and occasionally that bothers me. I love the font feature that allows me to increase the size of the font when I want to read in low light. It's great to be able to pull it out of my purse to read for those odd moments that suddenly appear and stretch on. I have bought several (inexpensive) books as a risk and they were all ok - nothing I went gaga over.

Cathie: It's just a bit different than I thought it would be. And I'm using it differently than I thought I would. I haven't really traveled since I've gotten it, but the nice thing is that it's small enough that I can carry with me all the time. Then in those moments when I find myself waiting for something unexpectedly, I can take it out and read something that I've already been reading. I've never carried a book with me unless I knew I was going to be waiting somewhere.

The two things in particular that reviewers were raving about were the reading surface which more closely mimicked paper (and its lack of strain on the eyes) than the backlit screens of the other readers and the 3G wireless connectivity which allowed the Kindle to connect to the Amazon store (and its many, many books) from anyplace there was cell phone service.

AK: I wasn't too sure about the comments in the reviews that I had read ...that after a while you lose the "device" [feeling] when reading and you don't think about the fact that you aren't physically turning the pages. I was wrong - when I'm in the middle of a good story, I'm not thinking about the Kindle at all.

Cathie: I did notice, however, that I wanted to hold the device like a book [2 hands] and ... found that the most popular was the Mivizu Amazon 2 Leather Cover.

CB: Do you still read that ancient papyrus version ?

AK: I do still read in paper format. There are certain authors that I love and I want all of their books on my shelves, so I can go back and re-read them. I also love old books - I'm not a real collector, but I do still have most of my mother's childhood favorites, that became mine as well.

Webb: Definitely still read paper books. Books from the library are all FREE! If it is a new book that I really want to read NOW (True Compass) I will Kindle it.

CB: Let's talk about purchasing, since you've brought that up. How is the Kindle purchasing experience?

Cathie: When [my device] arrived, I immediately purchased two books, one fiction and one non-fiction. I also purchased a single weekday edition of the Boston Globe for 49 cents, which $1.01 less than the paper edition would cost me. I read the non-fiction book quickly, making notes as I went along using the built-in keypad and placing bookmarks throughout the text on the interesting bits

Webb: When I am feeling cheap(er) I download classics that are frequently FREE! Like Treasure Island and Jane Austen - which I haven't read since I was a teen. Great fun to re-visit. All NYT best sellers are $9.99, so nearly paperback price while first edition. The main thing I don't like is that finding a random book is tedious on the Kindle. I usually do my surfing on my computer first, buy the book, and then when I open the Kindle, it downloads. If you know what you want, it's quick and easy to purchase on the fly - as I did Sunday in the airport.

Cathie: There have been two negative aspects to my Kindle use so far...I have been a bit disappointed by the choices and, sometimes, by the prices. For example, a friend recommended that I read Salmon Rushdie's 1985 Booker Prize-winning novel, Midnight's Children [which] is unavailable in a Kindle edition. And I've found this to be the case with quite a few older novels. Although most novels are $9.99 in the Kindle store (saving about 33% off the paperback price), non-fiction works tend to be much more expensive. Frans Mayra's book, An Introduction to Game Studies, is $38.65 in paperback and $32.36 in the Kindle edition, which is nowhere near a 33% savings.

AK: I do like the idea of seeing a book being reviewed/mentioned on TV or in a magazine and then being able to go and download it in 60 seconds. I have had pretty good luck with Amazon having most books available when I've gone looking for them. I have had a couple of instances where it wasn't available or I had to pre-order it, for delivery at a later date.

CB: Do you think you buy more books now than you did in traditional format?

AK: Not sure ...Most of what I've been reading lately would be available in hardback or paperback as well - mostly pretty current fiction.

CB: Do you think you're more willing to, say, "take a risk" on a book in Kindle format that you might not consider at full cover price?

AK: Definitely - it is a great way to try a new author and only pay $9.99 for the book, vs. paying $20+ for a hardback and find that I don't like it.

CB: Is getting a Kindle gift card the same as getting a book as a gift?

AK: I'd rather pick something that I know I want to read than have someone give me a book that I may already have, or wouldn't be on the top of my list of things to read. I love getting [books] as gifts, but if someone gave me a gift card instead, I'd be just as happy to go and buy it later myself.

Webb: Got a $25 Kindle gift card for Christmas - it was great! Easy to redeem and I got 3.5 books for it! Nice gift.

The Kindle wireless reading device is a product of Amazon, a partner of the Finishing School.

Roth Conversion: Decision Scenarios

2010-02-11T07:00:00.000-05:00

Instructor, Caroline Bender

You have read or heard through your preferred news outlets that investors may now convert their traditional IRA savings into a Roth IRA and reap the benefits of tax-free retirement withdrawals in their older age. What you have always wanted -- a paycheck in the full amount of what you earn (however you set your payroll in your golden years). If internet research has brought you to this post, then you are likely reading everywhere what you are about to read here: there is no universal answer to "Should I or Shouldn't I?"

We applaud you for trying to learn more; we are flattered that you chose us out of the many search results you must have been offered. What we want to stress to you is that you should not make such a significant financial decision without consulting an expert -- one who does not reside inside Google. We at the Finishing School are not financial advisors, and the School is not authorized to dispense financial advice. What we do is try to bring abstract ideas like money and work and raises and balance and performance reviews and "having it all down" to real life narrative so you can figure out who to use the information at hand.

Here are the terms you need to know
Roth: specialized individual retirement account that does not require automatic withdrawal at a given age, is transferrable, and taxed on contribution rather than withdrawl, allowing a smaller tax on a larger account. (named for the late William Roth, [R] Delaware)
Traditional: individual retirement account that allows tax-deductible contributions, and tax on the withdrawal as mandatory income at a determined age.
Taxes: When and how much. What you are really chosing here is whether to pay tax on funds you convert now, or funds you withdraw later. As they say around your workplace (and mine) "it depends."

Yes, I always say, I am sure it does. Depends on what?
Here are the factors to consider with your family and financial advisors before taking the plunge.

What is the money for?
For most of it, it is our retirement income, but if you also have a pension or other annuity, your IRA may be your investment fund, a savings fund to be given as inheritance, or your Foxwoods account.

Who is the money for?
Similarly, is this an individual fund, an income for a retired couple, or an older couple with other dependents, such as grandchildren, siblings. This question also answers How long does it need to last, which is also related to How long might you be being taxes on it?

Is is easier/more palatable for you to pay a large up-front tax or small back-end taxes over a period of time, depending on how long that period might be?

How old are you? In other words, how much time does your Roth have to grow, and how big might it be when you begin withdrawing?

What is your income bracket and how much money are we talking about?

Take, for example, an individual with 100K in a traditional account (IRA or 401k) today.
The 40 year-old may not have the cash on-hand to convert today, or want to liquidate $35K for the promise of a tax-free future.
The 60 year-old may have the cash and another 20 years to build interest before they want to/need to begin withdrawing.
The 75 year-old may actually save cash by paying tax on small withdrawals for 10 more years

A family may prefer the tax deduction today when expenses are plentiful over tax-free income in a future when there are fewer responsibilities and unexpected costs.
A single person may prefer building income in his/her name, when it is easier to control personal spending.

Will taxes go up....? Or down...? by the time you are withdrawing?
What will your income do?
A 35% tax bracket or higher can make that contribution tax feel like a sock in the stomach, especially if you will be in a lower bracket when you retire. But what will "lower" mean in such a distant future?

The entrepreneur with a big idea may prefer to pay a contribution tax at his Garage Inventor tax bracket of 25%. before his hopes of future wealth may come true.
The union man with a known future income plan may have a pension to rely on and may rarely contribute to his IRA.
The 2nd wife may be building an inheritance for her grown children. Roths are transferrable.

If we are your first stop on your research journey, let us recommend a few other resources to help in your scenarios. Do not expect any of them to tell you what to choose, but do work your own situation against the possibilities of your income changing, the tax rates changing, the tax laws changing, the amount in your account changing (anyone remember last year?) and your needs for that savings changing. Then make your best all-around decision. And don't be too scared: you can reverse your decision if you get cold feet.

Related resources:
Suze Orman: No Match? no Sweat?
Ameriprise: 2 Scenarios
Daily Worth: IRA Math

Commuting: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

2010-02-05T07:15:00.000-05:00

Instructor Maggie, career secretary and commuter

Not everyone has the luxury of walking to work or even having a short drive anymore, thus “commute” is a big part of our lives. Sometimes it can be both bad and ugly. Bad when others drive too fast and try to push us; ugly when the weather works against us. But find the Good - and put it first.

The company for which I work recently moved into its new headquarters building about 20 miles closer to my house and for the first couple of weeks the conversations in the elevator were “How’s your commute?”

It’s interesting to see how folks adjust to changes that affect that particular aspect of their day. The first couple of weeks, they check with each other to see who really has to commute further than they do and smile quietly to themselves because they no longer have a long commute. As the days progress, they compare different routes (and toll plazas) trying to figure out better ways to get from home to work and back. They also must learn new alternate routes if their preferred way has traffic issues on any given morning.

Just this morning I had a need to be at our former location and I wondered how I did that every day for 3.5 years! When I was asked back then "how do you do it," I usually replied, “Oh you get used to it.” And you do – until it’s time to change something else.

I have been commuting for the past 35 years – sometimes 10-15 minutes one way and more recently 45 – 55 minutes one way. Up until the move, my commute was about 90 miles a day, roundtrip. It is now 50 miles a day. I have lost half of the upside to my commute.

What is the upside to commuting? For me, it has allowed me to leave work at work and home at home. This in turn has helped keep the insanity at bay.

I’ve tried listening to books but that didn’t work out so well for me – hard to focus on the story, the traffic and driving safely all at the same time! What works best for me is “elevator music” on the radio without a lot of talking. Don’t laugh – it really does soothe.

What I liked best about the length of the commute was that I could use it to “dump” all my at-home issues from my mind and prepare for my workday by making a mental ‘to-do’ list. On the way home, I can then “dump” the office and all that entails so that I can focus on what needs to be done or where I need to go when I get home.

One caveat – watch out for the homeward dump! If I had done everything at home that I’ve carefully planned out in my head (such as painting, new curtains, new anything, remodel, yard work, gardening – to name a few) my house would be a lead article in Southern Living and House Beautiful at the same time!! Other times, it’s “What shall I fix for dinner?” “What’s on TV tonight?” “Can the laundry wait another day?” “If I stop at the grocery store, what shall I get?’’ Shall I wait until Saturday and make a list?”

Just don’t think about work! If you can avoid it, don’t take it home with you at all!

My adjustment right now is realizing that I have a bit less time to process the same amount of data in both directions, so right now I’m finding that I am at home before I’m done and at work before I’m quite ready. I imagine it won’t be long before I will either process less or do it faster. I’ll let you know. What I am liking is that now I drive fewer miles a day and buy gas once a week instead of twice. Eventually it all evens out!

The Three Step Formula for Redefining Life Balance

2010-02-03T08:00:00.007-05:00

Guest Blogger, Charlene, The Balance Beam.

A lot of people make an immediate mental leap from "life balance" to "work/life balance."

Newsflash: "Work/life" balance is a misnomer. Yes, work is a part of life. But so are family, education, community and taking care of yourself so you can handle it all.

The impossible quest for "work/life" balance somehow says that work and life are on the same playing field, vying for position. It implies teeter-totter energy. It assumes that when one side goes up, the other goes down and vice versa.There is a perpetual give and take... with parallel neutrality being the ideal scenario.

Personally I think this is neither realistic nor desirable.

First of all, I'm not sure we want our lives to be "neutral." Surely we have more ambition than that! Most career-minded individuals I know want life to include some measure of hard work and I'm sure any boss we’ve ever had would be happy to know this.

Life is a juggling act, not a teeter-totter ride. Work is just one ball in the mix.

Here's the real secret: Life balance is not about keeping all those balls in the air in perfect rhythm at all times. Of course we try. It's important to have strategies around getting stuff done.

Still, the world is an unpredictable place and let's face it, we're human. Sometimes those balls are going to drop through some misstep of our own or with the help of others. We may even lose a ball for a while. Sometimes it feels like we are juggling bowling balls. They may turn into a little evil monster heads and try to eat our face. Like I said before, stuff happens.

The thing to remember is that true life balance is internal.

What's most important is the balance within you -- your physical, mental, emotional, spiritual self. When those things are in harmony, the objects of external life can explode into flaming stink bombs and you'll be just fine.

So how exactly do we get to that place of inner harmony while mired in the stress and demands of “external” day-to-day life?

Next time you feel “out of balance,” focus on three steps:
1. Internal -- Transform thoughts, feelings, words, feeding only positive energy.

When you find yourself thinking or saying such sentiments as, “What a horrible day!” “I’m so tired.” “My boss is such a (fill in the blank) “I’m not making enough money!” STOP. Energy flows where attention goes. You get back what you put out. Only invest in the positive.

2. External -- Engage in healthy, healing actions.
This may require honesty as well as discipline. Put forth the effort to align actions with goals. There’s an old saying, “Trust in God but tie your horse to the post.” If you see your horse galloping away, start being real about what part you may have played in that misfortune. And, learn how to tie a good knot already.

The key is starting. Not tomorrow, not on Monday, not on the first full moon of the leap year. NOW. Whether its meditation, fitness, a creative outlet or whatever; focus on daily activities which are aligned with your life balance goals.

3. Support -- Ask for help.
Get feedback, physical assistance, accountability and/or just the time and space for steps #1 and #2 to be possible. We don’t need to do anything alone.Many of us grew up such that we view asking for help as a sign of weakness. It’s actually a sign of strength. If you don’t feel comfortable leveraging your “in real life” network, there is a virtual support system for just about anything.

Practicing these steps will provide you with the balanced internal foundation needed to cope, problem solve, persist and overcome anything that comes your way.

Including evil monster heads.

Related Resources
Life is NOT a Teeter-Totter
Find Your Strongest Life (Marcus Buckingham book)
Find Your Strongest Life (book review)
How I Took Back My Life Through the Miracle of Outlook

Groundhog’s Day—The Working Mom’s Holiday

2010-02-02T08:00:00.003-05:00

Guest Blogger Jeanne Brown is a Boston-based freelance writer and communications consultant. She is also a married mother of two who is trying to juggle it all—family, work, health, writing, volunteering and the rest of life. When she finds time, she blogs at http://dichotomom.blogspot.com/ or tweets at @JeanneBrown.

To many, February means Valentine’s Day, complete with romance, hearts and fluff. I say, down with that. We don’t need candy and we won’t wear lingerie. Instead, we need a day that focuses on keeping us sane, not one that makes us insane. Working mothers should unite. Let’s lobby Hallmark for a new February holiday, one that honors the cornerstones of any working mother’s life—routine, consistency, schedules and predictability. Up with Groundhog Day!

One of my favorite movie lines is from The Devil Wears Prada when Emily says "I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight." Right now I'm feeling kind of like Emily, except my life is not close to the high fashion scene and my stomach flu doesn’t end with me happily fitting into skinny jeans. I am a working mother. That means I’m just one stomach flu away from my finely crafted schedule getting flushed down the toilet.

There is a way my life is like a movie, though more like Groundhog Day than Prada. In the 1993 film, Bill Murray plays a weatherman stuck in Punxsutawney, PA, and he relives Groundhog Day over and over and over again, until he finally gets it right.

I don’t know if I’ll ever get it right. Getting it done is good enough. And if I can manage to do it all—or most of it, anyway—with just a modicum of yelling, well that’s a great day. I get it when Bill Murray’s character Phil says, “It's the same thing your whole life: ‘Clean up your room. Stand up straight. Pick up your feet. Take it like a man. Be nice to your sister. Don't mix beer and wine, ever.’ Oh yeah: ‘Don't drive on the railroad track.’"

Because for me, it really is the same thing every day (minus the railroad track): wake-up, work out, get kids to school, work, pick up kids, drive kids to activities, cook dinner, play or read to kids, put kids to bed, check e-mail, fold laundry, fall into bed, do it over again. While each day has a sprinkling of variety (Tuesdays the kids are home early, Thursdays we have dance, basketball AND wrestling), it all follows the same exhausting rhythm.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. For the most part, I’m okay with the go-go-go pace and I’m not that different from a lot of other working parents. Besides, I’ve never really been one for drama, I like my schedule and I thrive on routine. Why shake things up?

But I am shaking it up. After fifteen years working in marketing/communications, I’ve decided to try a new career path. I’m early into it, but this change has required me to rethink my priorities and rejuggle my schedule. I’ve got to fit in 10 hours of studying a week, so right now, my routine is critical. A stomach flu would derail all that I have going.

So this February 2, celebrate Groundhog Day in style: Make a meatloaf. Watch The Biggest Loser. Fold some laundry. And give a great big cheer for the routine (and a silent prayer that everyone stays healthy.)

1943 Tips for Hiring Women

2010-01-30T10:00:00.002-05:00

You have probably encountered this list on the web, or through other blogs that you read. This is a section of a 1943 pamphlet prepared by a mass transportation trade magazine that outlined "how to use [women] to the best hiring advantage. The seminar question is... if you put aside the "little lady" tone and the sweeping generalizations you ought to expect from 1940s public discourse, how do you react to the tips themselves? A "husky" girl might take it in her stride, but that's "feminine psychology" for you.

Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees: (1943)

There’s no longer any question whether transit companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The draft and manpower shortage has settled that point. The important things now are to select the most efficient women available and how to use them to the best advantage. Here are eleven helpful tips on the subject from Western Properties:

1. Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they’re less likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn’t be doing it, they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.
2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It’s always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.

3. General experience indicates that “husky” girls – those who are just a little on the heavy side are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.
4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination – one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.

5. Stress at the outset the importance of time; the fact that a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is recieved, service is likely to be slowed up.

6. Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so that they’ll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.

7. Whenever possible, let the inside employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.

8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.

9. Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can’t shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman – it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.

10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl’s husband or father may swear vociferously, she’ll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.

11. Get enough size variety in operator’s uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can’t be stressed too much in keeping women happy.

The Wicked Recruiter: Are they just not into you anymore?

2010-01-28T13:46:00.003-05:00

Tina Duccini, The Wicked Recruiter

In a follow-up to last week's post, we asked the Wicked Recruiter to reveal more behind-the-scenes insight into Recruiter behavior.
Dear Wicked Recruiter,
What does it mean if a recruiter has started talking about making an offer and seems enthusiastic, but then stops contacting you or returning your calls altogether? Are they "just not into you" anymore?

Answer: It means you have an underperforming recruiter. They likely ran into an awkward corporate situation and simply don't know how to talk about it.

The general awkward situations are:

1. req frozen due to public company quarterly shenanigans
2. req frozen due to department budget issues
3. req frozen due to company not doing so hot and not freezing reqs before candidates got to the offer process
4. Department/Hiring manager believing they had the right to hire but bypassed administrative steps and got stuck in the mud.
5. compensation inequity issues

A great recruiter knows how to talk about each of these types of issues. Companies with recruiters who can't address these issues have taken the first step in showing you how important hiring is to them. Companies may still get lucky and find some great people, even when they have an alarmingly bad hiring process; however, bad bait will only get you a good catch once in a while. Eventually, not taking your own hiring process seriously and failing to realize it is one of the 2 most important parts of your business will catch up to you.

You are only doing two things in business...

1. recruiting customers
2. recruiting employees to serve those customers

A business needs everyone in the company to know how the company makes money and use that knowledge to make good business decisions, the most important of those being hiring.

Hiring Human Resources/Recruitment staff who can't have hard, yet real, business conversations during the hiring process means a business is not taking #2 seriously. Which should make you ask how seriously they are taking #1.

However, there is still a chance they may turn out to be a good company to work for despite some awkward potholes in their hiring process. Take your experience seriously and look in to what happened.

If you decide to take a job with a company that has an underwhelming or even downright insulting hiring process, then please do everyone a favor and insist on a better process and if necessary, a better HR/Staffing team.

Sometimes you have to play the game
Play to win
When you are in power
Change the rules!

Because putting people who don't get #1 and #2 in charge of hiring is costly and like arming your gates with your worst enemy. Bad HR and Recruitment staff is a Trojan Horse. Remember how that turned out for Troy?

Have a question about the recruiting process? Want answers to your job search dilemmas? Post your questions in the comments.