You're on a Need to Know Basis

Advice to Management from the hamsters who run the gossip mill. ~~ Tess McGill, guest lecturer

You do not need us to remind you that Knowledge is Power. You might need to be reminded why. The psychology of oppression tells us that the weaker will always understand the stronger more than they understand us. So let me spell this out for you.

The problem with your Need to Know philosophy is that you don't understand what we need to know.

We need to know there is a plan
We don't see your plans often. When we do they are after the fact, in the form of annual reports, and company meetings. We subscribe to online clip services for a reason, and it isn't company loyalty.

When we scratch around looking for information, it is because we are trying to see the future ahead. Please remember that we have our lives to lead, and our margins for error in decision making are actually narrower than yours. Buying the house, advising the spouse to go back to school, even signing up at the gym can follow decision trees that actually hinge on "If the company does this...." "if my Boss decided to...." Two real life examples I can vouch for are the woman considering surgery, and the engaged couple picking a wedding date, while layoff lists were being drawn up. Both of them lost their jobs, by the way (and still had the surgery and the wedding).

You managers scoff as you read this and say, "Oh, we're just supposed to show us our hand? Or stall you for an answer? You want us to lie?" No, we want you to run a company where layoffs are not an annual cost-cutting measure or management solution, but instead are caused by a catastrophic and unforeseen event, often external to normal operations. We do know the difference.

We need to know who is in charge
We have ideas. We have observations. We have objections; you know that too. When you keep us in the dark you get the short-term win of not being bothered by us, but you miss the long-term growth of the engaged worker.

We ask who made this decision or signed off on that idea because we are trying to understand where the power base is, and often just trying to spot a pattern in business culture. Because we have no playbook, we have trouble anticipating the next move, seeing the big picture, and understanding how what we are marching toward today influences where we might be marching to tomorrow.

Don't hide behind phrases like "senior management" when you mean A Senior Manager. Say "senior management" when you mean the consensus of senior managers through discussion and negotiation, toward a common business goal. When we think that's what you meant, and find out later it was just a bully executive, we are less inspired next time.

We need to know the last X months weren't all B.S.
There is a moment after the Surprise Party has been revealed when the guests stand around the celebrant and replay every conversation they have had for the past few weeks, up until the moment before the door opened. Everyone shouts merrily over each other "that's why.... that's why...." because when we have been deceived (and for all its good intentions, a surprise party is an orchestrated conspiracy of the people you love most), we need to defrag our brains of all the misinformation we have been fed "for our own good."

When big changes come to the Company, the workforce spends about a day and a half replaying its surprise party stories to find the truth, the half-truths and the flat out lies they were subjected to, often at the hands of their own managers and executives. We try to uncover what they themselves knew and when they knew it -- who was on the "inside" and who on the "outside."

Dear leaders, please do not say things like "just wait a couple of weeks. There are going to be some changes" when we ask you for advice with a difficult problem. Why not advise us based on what you know, even if you can't tell us what it is? If Future Condition is so drastically different from Current Condition that you would actually advise a different course of action... just advise it. Or we could stop asking for your advice at all and stay with the rumor mill where people speak plainly.

We need to know WHY
You never understand that part of it, do you? Even after your big reveal, you have no explanation, and it makes us suspect that is because Bob in the corner office wanted it, no one could stop him, and the company had no other plan in place to compete with his idea.

We need to know if this is about money
Honestly, we can take it. If it is true that we will all have 5-7 careers in our lifetime, then we will see you restructure, change directions, relocate, sunset, about 100 times.

Admit it is about money and we won't have to take it personally.
Admit it is about money and we won't feel so defeated going home with our box of stuff.
We won't wonder why we didn't test the thing before we bought the company.
Why you split the department only to bring it back together again.

We already think/know you didn't plan it. You'll actually look less inept, even if it does make you look greedy and selfish. We already think that anyway.

We need to know what this means for us
We are very good at a few things the executive tier has lost use for:
- sharing ideas
- working together
- representative government
- hypothesis and the scientific method
- honesty

Your lost productivity comes from the workforce hoping to figure this out on its own, seminar style.

Here's how we want it
Tell us your plan for the year; establish your priorities. If you need to be nimble, make nimble goals. "Nimble" does not mean "vague," by the way. They are not from the same language. In fact, they are opposites.

Tell us how each division will achieve these goals. Tell us who will sponsor each of those goals.
Establish cross-functional workteams from the top down, and with an eye toward our workload, skills, and development goals. Decide what things will cost and hold people accountable for the bottom line.

Publish your business crisis philosophies as openly as you do your company goals:
Is this a company that cuts spending or raises prices?
What are the above-the-line luxury items that go before people?
How does the company prepare for economic changes?

This helps us know what to expect -- especially if you stick with it. The company can then follow Laws of Its Own Nature and we can stop whispering through IM and wandering by meeting rooms to see who is in them.

Knowledge is Power, because any commodity in short supply has real value. Seed some in the grassy roots instead of deciding for us what we need.

You Got Played

an analysis of Boss-on-Boss violence with you as ammunition


Happy New Year from the Finishing School. You have a lot coming up in the new year:
annual reviews, maternity leave (yours or hers), perhaps avoiding the layoff. With all the work you have to do, you may forget your fundamentals. You may forget that you are a pawn in the great game, and you are susceptible to being tagged.

In today's lesson, we discuss that uncomfortable family dynamic of the workplace: your boss and her boss in a tiff that involves you. These scenes can play out in a lot of directions; you may not have time to respond unless you have practiced. By following this case study, you can identify alternative choices for sticky situations between the highers-up.

Case Study
Angela works for a high-strung filly (we'll call her Phyllis, to be facetious) who has spent this year encouraging her staff to seek assistance outside of the organization. It is good for them, she says, to get exposure outside their daily spheres and to form relationships that strengthen the company as a whole. It is good for her, she knows, because it takes some of the pressure off of her for their constant attention.

What Phyllis didn't expect is that a lot of that "outside assistance" has been in the form of her own Boss, Marilyn, who now finds herself visited almost daily by one or more of Phyllis' team asking to "run something by" her. And none of them knows that is happening either.

This has set-up a pattern of outcomes for this team and its manager:
1) Marilyn provides immediate instruction when asked, and wonders why Phyllis is not more available to her staff
2) The staff take the instructed action, presenting it to Phyllis as Marilyn-approved

Enter Angela. See if you can identify the missteps in the minefield she is about to enter.

Angela learns some shocking, potentially business-impacting news in a cross-functional meeting. At first, she is too stunned to know quite how she will respond to this turn of events, but mostly she is focused on how she will tell Phyllis, her Boss, who is out of town for a business trip.

Phyllis has a tendency to leap into action, often argumentatively -- in Angela's Happy Hour parlance, "to freak slam out." Angela realizes that the way she delivers this information to her boss will make all the difference in the way she responds.

Where should Angela turn for her outside assistance?
a. a fellow team member, who knows how to handle Phyllis
b. her executive mentor, who has no stake in the outcome
c. Marilyn, to whom Phyllis will inevitably escalate this issue during her freak-out
d. None of the above. Go directly to Phyllis

Angela chooses (c), reasoning that Marilyn could help form the "messaging" and at the same time be brought up to date on the issue.

A fly-by of Marilyn's empty office leaves Angela with another mine to hop.

How should Angela raise this topic with Marilyn?
a. email, to keep all the information professional and documented
b. phone, for the most efficient conversation
c. IM, just to request a face-to-face meeting
d. None of the above. Go directly to Phyllis

Angela chooses (c), knowing that Marilyn is working from home, and prefers to meet 1:1. Asking for an audience also gives Marilyn the opportunity to request an immediate briefing if preferred.
Through IM, Angela suggests a 60 minute brief for the following day: 30 minutes to explain the topic itself, and 30 minutes to strategize the resolution plan. Marilyn expresses some hesitation about having this meeting without Phyllis present.


How should Angela respond?
a. Appeal to urgency - we really can't afford to wait for her return
b. Appeal to ego - suggest that Marilyn's point of view is valuable here... for Angela's professional development
c. Appeal to honesty - reveal the ulterior motive that what she really needs is help handling Phyllis
d. Take the advice and include Phyllis in the briefing

Angela chooses (c), having not given herself enough space to plan her next move, but is quick to add that she is just seeking advice, not escalating the issue.

Marilyn accepts the meeting, but asks to have it reduced to 30 minutes.

On the following day, Phyllis' team holds their regular staff meeting by phone.

How should Angela report on the information from her cross-team?
a. Casually - avoid the freak-out until she has a messaging strategy
b. Omittedly - she shouldn't bring it up at all
c. Straightforwardly - reporting urgent issues is a standing agenda item
d. Obscurely, within a sentence that asks for time with Phyllis to discuss in more detail

Angela chooses (c), which results in the response, "Please stay on the call after we are through."

On the after call, Phyllis reveals her hidden dragon:
After accepting Angela's meeting request yesterday, Marilyn had immediately forwarded it to Phyllis and asked why her team was escalating things over her head. Phyllis has held this since yesterday, waiting to see if Angela would bring it up on the staff call.

Angela, you got played.

Phyllis assures Angela that she does not think Angela went over her head, but what matters is that Marilyn does. Marilyn has come to feel that Phyllis' staff goes over her head often. Phyllis feels that Marilyn undermines her authority by not directing her staff back to her.

When we are being ridden by our Bosses, we can easily lose sight of the fact that they are ridden too. It may never even occur to you that one of the things she is ridden about is her effectiveness in managing you.

It is not Angela's fault that the situation between her Boss and GrandBoss had built up to the point where she was made an example of. Where Angela made her mistake was in not anticipating that such a situation could happen. For the Boss to give you an extension on that deadline, she will need to justify it to her Boss; in order to give more authority to the team, she needs to convince her Boss they are capable of handling it. Miss Bender herself was once in the painful position of giving an employee a humbling reprimand, simply because her own Boss demanded that it be done.

Angela missed several opportunities to change the outcome of her game -- opportunities she didn't even consider. Remember that every dynamic you have with your Boss she has with hers, and so on. Take the time to play your decisions through, and consider all the possible outcomes of your choices. You may still be wrong, but you won't be surprised.

Correcting the Boss

In a recent issue of "Real Corporate Email," a publication of the Finishing School, a discussion arose about errors made by the Bosses and just when and how (and how!) to correct them.

from one of the subscribers:

The squirmiest misuse: there I was, in the audience as my boss gave a presentation. She deftly built up to her point, clicked to go to the next slide. Here it--and she--announced in all caps, "WALLA!"

WALLA? really?
And this wasn't an episode of The Office?

It is easy enough to make fun of the pointy-haired boss, to imagine how we might let them swing in the wind, to perhaps bait them to repeat the mistake: bigger, better, to a more impressive audience. I once had a Boss who used the word "behooved" when she meant "appalled," and I enjoyed getting her to do it. I was terribly young, and she was mean, but let's try to move past that, shall we?

How do you correct Boss for her benefit, and the betterment of your team?
Don't you tell her when she has poppy seeds in her teeth?

Our WALLA storyteller offered this:

"I agonized about how to handle this forever. I couldn't spare her the initial occurrence, but I thought I could prevent future folly. Finally I decided to let a little time pass, then start using 'voila!' in my writing at work. It was tricky to find the right situations, because I didn't want to come off as (any more) pretentious (than usual), so I was on the prowl for circumstances that might merit the sardonic use of the word. I think I even managed to pull off reading it aloud from my scrawl on the whiteboard in a meeting, which I thought a special triumph. After about four sweaty usages I decided I had achieved my purpose--I was in my early 20s at the time and I took this all very, very seriously."

An excellent example for us to work with, early 20s or no. These days, it is The Boss who is likely to be in her early 20s, so this opportunity may come around more than you expect.

Let it Pass
That is to say, avoid the urge to gasp, point, or mutter "Dear Lord." Practice this in your meetings, because these moments will sneak up on you. Embarrassing her will cut off any chance you have to counsel her.

Consider your relationship
If you are the Boss's consigliere, you may be able to process the incident once the right moment comes (see below). If you do not have the Insider/Personal relationship, you may choose the route our subscriber took and lead by example. An elegant choice that can work whether she is your Mentor, or you are Eve Harrington to her Margot.

Pick your moment(s)
Consiglieres have this easiest, at the end of the day when everyone's corsets are loosened, and you have your stocking feet on her chair and she on yours and you can do the slow sleepy blink and open with, "I think the slide deck worked today. Know what, though?"

In the 2nd scenario, reenacting the event correctly at the first opportunity does the trick. You have to be humble enough never to let on what you just did.

Correct with love
The slowest zebra is individually vulnerable; legend has it that the herd will move at the speed of the slowest zebra in order to protect it. It is a variation on "only as strong as our weakest link." When that zebra is The Boss, your group is easy prey. If you have the opportunity to increase her speed, it is in your best interest to do so.

Remember your Golden Rule and she will too, the next time you make some behoovingly boneheaded move.

~~ CB

Outside Reading
Better than Perfect, Dale A. Dauten
Giving Feedback, Harvard Business School Press
Managing Up, Michael S. Dobson
Quick Solutions to Common Errors in English, Angela Burt

Workplace Dangers: The High-Strung Filly

Instructor, Caroline Bender

As part of our occasional field guide to the wild creatures in your workplace, the Finishing School presents a general overview and wrangler's manual to The High-Strung Filly.

General characteristics:
sex: female. There are high-strung colts in the workplace, but they are rarely dangerous, until they become stallions.

aged: any, but usually peaks between 25 and 40

breed: hotshot new manager, newly promoted middle manager, imported rock star, freshly-minted MBA, Boss's stable queen, etc.

markings: edgy business couture, PDA, stack heels, smart-girl glasses, office-to-evening hair, expensive bag, couldn't-be-bothered jewelry.

action: late night emails, frequent use of "I, me, mine," unsolicited feedback, frequent reference to previous company, scolding/condescending tone.

potential dangers: Can undermine your authority and take credit for your work, if not take it over completely; can convince highers-up that you are a liability; bypasses established procedure under the pretense of "getting it done;" expert at covering her tracks.
see also Idea Stealer

watch for: email subtext, staff poaching, off-line meetings with the Boss (yours, hers, or anyone's), systems analysis and flowcharts.

when in danger:
stay out in the open - avoid 1:1 meetings without witnesses
stay above board - do not allow yourself to be baited into over-reacting
poll your mates - find out whether you are being singled out, or caught in a wake. Either is dangerous, but it can help to know you have allies
document and file - it takes several data points to spot a trend

How to calm a high-strung filly:
The BWFS&SC goes straight to the experts. Real-life advice serves just as well in this situation. Take the reins in hand before things get skittish.

1. "Get ahold of yourself. If you are feeling nervous or upset, calm yourself down because it will only make the situation worse."
Or as they say around the paddock, "don't step in it." This advice leads right into #2. With most wild creatures, it is best not to show your fear.

2. "....show ...that you are not concerned."
While training the Filly that you will not run for the fence when she rears up, you are training yourself as well not to be afraid.

3. "Identify and remove the cause of the distress..."
Usually, for the Filly, the distress comes from your having something she does not have -- territory, influence, power, popularity... anything that adds up to established position, even if it is not a position of authority. This is not the cause you want to remove. You want to remove her distress over not having any herself.

4. "Allow [her] to do some things [s]he instinctively wants to do.."
Give her the things you don't want. It's a Tom Sawyer move, but it works nearly every time.

5. "...carefully place your face close to [her] nose and exhale out of your mouth..." Ok, not literally. With a real horse, regulating your breathing with hers will having a calming effect on both of you. In human relations, this is done by "mirroring," matching your stance, tone, posture with that of your counterpart. The Filly likes nothing better than herself, unless it is the idea that others want to be like her.

Trainer tips will also advise to "learn what scares or overexcites your [filly]," as you get to know her, and try to preventively anticipate those situations. And never turn your back on her.

LinkedIn Etiquette

Graduates of the finishing school should be knowledgable about online networking tools and be prepared to utilize such tools with grace and charm. In this seminar, we discuss the proper etiquette to employ when using LinkedIn.

Part one: Requesting endorsements

1. Endorse them first.
Asking someone to endorse you is akin to asking for a letter of recommendation. Although the means of drafting the endorsement are less cumbersome than an old-fashioned letter, the task of authoring a thoughtful and sincere commendation is no less work. If you know and respect the person well enough to expect her to provide a positive assessment of your abilities, you should show that respect by endorsing her first. This expression of good will reminds your colleague of your positive attributes and feels good to do. It may very well inspire your colleague to draft your endorsement in return, without you even having to ask.

2. Personalize the request.
LinkedIn provides template emails for requesting endorsements, but graduates of the finishing school should know better than to simply send the boiler plate request. Doing so could send the message that you couldn't be bothered to type a few personal lines, yet you are requesting that they compose an original tribute to your abilities. The message you send should be customized to suit the tone of your relationship and the purpose for your request.

3. Explain the need.
While you are personalizing the message you should explain why you are seeking this endorsement. This gives your request some significance, a sense of timing or urgency, and may also provide your colleague with an opportunity to assist you beyond the endorsement request. Whether you are seeking a specific job opportunity, branching out into your own business, or looking to generally enhance your profile, these details can help your colleague form the content of their endorsement and prioritize your request among their other tasks. Your colleague may even have some good leads for you now that he/she knows what you are looking to do.

4. Make it easy for them.
Writing an endorsement can be a difficult to begin. Writing is not a strength for everyone, and it may have been a while since you two last worked together. Remind your colleague of the projects you worked on and what went well. (This is another good reason to endorse your colleague first). You may even suggest some skills or accomplishments you would like them to highlight, specific to the purpose of the endorsement. For example: "Since I'm seeking a project management position, it would be great if you could mention anything you felt I was particularly good at such as delegating tasks, multi-tasking and keeping the project team on schedule.")

5. Don't forget to thank them.
Always follow up with a note of thanks. Your colleague has taken time out of her busy schedule to help you in your career efforts. A quick note or a phone call to thank her will always be appreciated.

Common Pitfalls of the Internal Transfer

Instructor, Caroline Bender
As the calendar year comes to a close, many of you are engaged in internal transfers (one hopes toward a better opportunity rather than away from a bad one, but we understand that a working girl does "gotta do.") To use a seasonal metaphor, Candidates must beware of black ice -- dangerous patches on a pathway that seem clear and dry ....until you suddenly come to.

Today's Study Guide
10 Tips for a Smooth Transfer

10 Know your rights
Internal transfer policies are usually written with the weight of benefit on the employee. There will be some anti-poaching language included, but mostly the company will say (occasionally with grit teeth) that they want you to be very happy. really.

Your company has a policy on internal transfers, even if that policy is having no policy. More likely, it is a policy full of gaps and strange statements that indicate there is an incident behind them. Locate it, read it, study it within an inch of its life. You will have to play by its rules, but you may luck out on how poorly they are stated.

ex 1: The minimum period of notice is one month, for an employee not on probation, but a lesser or greater period of notice could be negotiated if mutually agreed by the employee and the head/school manager/supervisor of both schools or administrative departments.

ex 2: The HR representative’s responsibility is to remind both the internal candidate and hiring manager about [company's]Internal transfer policy. Internal candidates who are interested in transferring to another department [company] must meet the eligibility guidelines, understand and follow the application process as stated in this policy

Anything not explicitly stated in the Company policy can be assumed to be fair play (until they have to add it later after whatever you are about to pull).

9 Control the information flow
Once you are sure of the rules of engagement, try to control the information to your advantage. If you are not required to give your Manager notice of information interviews, don't. When you approach the Hiring Manager about a posted opportunity, be clear that you would like an "informational." Say that you understand neither party is under any obligation; you would just like to know more before deciding to apply. This is insider language for "I won't tell if you won't."

If you don't have to report where you are interviewing, don't. Some companies require the employee only to disclose she is pursuing an internal opportunity. It is the Hiring Manager who must come learn if they want to pursue the candidate.

Incidentally, it doesn't hurt to drop your resume off on the desks of people you admire, even if they are not hiring. A good opener is, "I know you don't have positions now, but if you ever do, I hope you'll think of me." Hand it over in a folder. Of course, this works better if you actually have a relationship with them, and works great with male executives of some rank. Because it's downright ballsy.

8 Don't fool yourself
That is, don't be blind to what you see every day as an employee and co-worker. You know perfectly well what's-what, who's crazy, where the dead ends are, and where the real power is. So if it sounds like a great job, but nothing good has ever grown on that field, stay away. If it sounds like a lateral move, but the quality of life is better, take it to the next step.

When Young Miss Bender was a fiery-eyed powerhouse, she thought candidates who weighed parking privileges and per diems into the package were shallow and short-sighted. Middle-Aged Miss Bender knows you've probably already had the best job you're going to have. So go into every interview with open eyes and a set of demands. That is never easier than when you are moving internally.

7 Be patient
Job hunts take forever because human organization is completely disorganized. When you are an unknown outsider, you will be stalled by interview schedules, PTO, frozen requisitions, and some hold-up with a nasty business called the "compensations committee."

When you are a known quantity like an internal candidate, add to this the secret references, reading of your personnel file, and political infighting between managers. Stay charming to the Hiring Manager, and respectable to your own Manager, and just wait. An entire quarter is not at all unusual a Time-to-Hire. It is only appalling.

6 Treat it like a real interview, only better
Absolutely dress, prepare, and be on time as you would for a job interview. All the more reason for you to develop a practice of looking like you are at work on any given day. In addition, use this valuable 1:1 time to ask real-life questions about the job and the company based on situations you both know.

Not as in, "So, Marcy quitting, huh? What was up with that?" More like, "I was interested in your Issues and Improvements segment at the last company meeting. I wonder why more managers don't take advantage of that forum." Or, "I think one example of what you're asking about is this year's sales conference that I coordinated with Special Events...." Practice digging more deeply too. This is a good time to throw back the "where do you see this department in 5 years" question.

5 Make sure you're treated like a real candidate
This is part of knowing your rights. You have the right to the same number of interviews, with the same interviewers, in the same environment, as any other candidate. Don't let them tell you differently. Complain to your recruiter if you have to, making sure to keep it in an even impersonal tone.

4 Get it in Writing
Internal candidates get the short end of this stick at every turn. Insist on a real package -- job description, compensation, benefits, etc. Anything that was suggested verbally ought to be documented, especially talk of salary and departure dates.

3 Never negotiate your own transition
You can't win this. Your recruiter or HR rep should be the broker here. However badly you want to move, never start work on your next job while you are still in the current one. It's throwing time and money in the street, all of it yours.

2 Beware the Verbal/Written Warning
This is a dirty trick to pull, but it is one your Manager has at her fingertips. Not being "in good standing" can negate your transfer. If she has tried everything else and is determined to make you stay, she might resort to this. Have your best mates take you out for beers, call her every name in the book out of earshot. Do not drunk dial, say anything in email, or neglect to get your recruiter in this fight. Your manager has just taken money out of his pocket too. And he'll have something to say about that.

1 Tell the Team before they hear it elsewhere
Congratulations, you got the offer! While you're waiting for it in writing, let your current team know what's happening. Chances are they already know, but they will pretend they didn't and will be happy for you. While you are not looking, they are also casting lots on your desk.

Knock 'em dead!
Best of Everything in 2008!

~~CB

Online tools part 4: Family/relationship management

Working women out there rarely find themseleves with too much time on their hands. Having little ones in the home can drive your free time into extinction. This doesn't stop Mom & Dad, Sis, and Grandma from complaining that they never get to see you and why don't you ever call? Thankfully there are many online resources to help you stay in touch with your loved ones when you don't have the time to update them all individually. Here are a few of Ms. Minchin's favorites:

Babysites.com: This site offers an easy way to share photos and updates of your little one with friends and family. You can post video and audio clips, maintain an online journal and growth charts. This site offers a free version (with advertising) and paid upgrades. You can password protect your site to keep out the weirdos too.

The family post: This site provides a great way to create your own family forum. You can share photos, stories and a family calendar. It even comes with a family directory as well as a message board. This is a great tool for keeping the extended family in synch, and planning events such as a family reunion. One problem with the site is how to determine who pays for it. It can be a little pricey, and money always has a way of causing family problems. It would be nice if Family Post could find a way to split the cost across family members (of course gandma and grandpa don't have to pay).

Free Wikis: There are countless free hosted wikis that could be tailored to a family forum format. The downside is they aren't as user friendly for the non-technical family members, and require more time from the site administrator to maintain and customize the site. The upside is they are free, and provide a way to collaborate or jsut share updates with extended family. My favorites are:

• Wet paint


• PB Wiki


• Google Groups

Lastly, don't be afraid to try Facebook. The fastest growing demographic for Facebook are people aged 35+. Ms. Minchin signed up and was immediately back in touch with an old High School friend. You may not be able to talk your mother into creating a profile (and probably don't want to) but it is a handy way to keep in touch with friends and colleagues.